


lots of time

by sana_s (orphan_account)



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, i hate this, namo still, on pause for now i thunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:34:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22553338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sana_s
Summary: momo's the photographer at nayeon's wedding
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon
Comments: 114
Kudos: 256





	1. Chapter 1

It was summer. Summer meant bumblebees with a new purpose, blooming forsythia and fawn lilies so yellow that the bees almost blended right in with them while they flew around. Summer meant warm air that was a little humid and made you feel slightly sticky, it meant clear skies and perfect weather for all your outdoor events.

With a resigned release of breath, Momo accepted the fact that summer also meant summer weddings.

She should’ve been happier about it, a lot of couples wanted to be married while the flowers bloomed and the birds flew high in blue skies, but Momo couldn’t get rid of the thought that the whole thing was silly – marriage that is.

“No, why do you think I ordered them for Thursday? That gives you forty-eight hours, doesn’t it?” The blonde made a face as she carried on her phone call and Momo knew that it would take some time. All Sana had done since she dragged her to the open field was accept call after call – Sana was supposed to be introducing her to the happy couple as their wedding photographer, but that clearly wouldn’t be happening for another twenty minutes at least.

So Momo wandered away from the blonde. She would stay within eyesight; she just wanted to walk around the place a little. What else would someone do in a pretty garden?

She took in all the different coloured flowers, made a face of panic at the bees and steered tactfully away from them. Her camera dangled over her shoulder from a strap and she itched to use it so she could capture the way the two hummingbirds hovered over a white daffodil.

“Pretty isn’t it?”

The voice halfway surprised her and she swore as she almost dropped the camera.

There was a laugh then an apology that didn’t sound entirely sincere while the person was still actually laughing.

“Sorry, sorry.” The woman bit her lip.

Momo waved her off. The woman beside her had to have come from behind her. Her eyes scanned the tall trees that were all huddled together and the thick bushes that were in front of them like a barrier. She wondered how and why the woman was even back there.

“You’re the photographer?”

Momo looked down at the camera that was over her shoulder and then back to the stranger.

“That’s amazing. How did you know?”

The brunette laughed a little more.

“You look like the photographer type.” She answered easily. Her voice was smooth with no hitch and if not for the teasing look in her eyes, Momo might have thought she was being serious.

“Really? What does the photographer type look like? I wasn’t even aware such a thing existed.”

The woman gave her a smile and put her hands behind her back as she began to walk leisurely along the garden. Momo walked with her through the high grass, her shoes trampling the odd wild flower every now and then. The woman wore a sundress – red, pink and white, that stopped at her knees and slightly gave way to the wind more than once. She followed her blindly, happy to have something to occupy her time until Sana was ready.

“Artsy – almost in a pretentious way.” She said with a faux expression of deep thought on her face while they passed the vibrant purple pasqueflowers.

Momo smiled. She couldn’t bring herself to find it offensive when the woman beside her was so clearly joking. She took pride in her ability to take a joke, especially when it was about her occupation.

“So that’s how you knew? I looked particularly artsy and pretentious?”

The woman, with hair that was more red than brown with loose curls in it, shook her head with the sun behind her – the sun that made her hair look even redder.

“No, don’t be ridiculous. I knew from the big obnoxious camera in your hands.” She carried on walking and Momo stopped shortly.

She took the stranger in – the confident but lazy stride, the careful smile on her face and the way her eyes were locked on the church on the other side of the pasture.

Momo looked down at her hands which were still placed neatly behind her back. She saw the ring on the woman’s left hand and saw the way that she pulled at it as if it were itching her.

“You’re the bride.”

She caught the woman’s look of hesitation before she actually answered with a stiff nod and reserved smile.

“That’s what I’ve been referred to as since he announced it to everyone - so, I guess I am.”

Momo looked up from the green grass and made sure she could still see Sana in the distance. Sure enough, the busy wedding planner was still on her phone chatting away.

Her eyes then drifted to the side where the stranger – technically her employer – was.

“Awfully weird thing to guess about if you’re going to be married in two days.”

The woman didn’t look entirely pleased by the estimation of time.

“Two days already, huh.” Her tone was flat and her face inexpressive but still strikingly beautiful. 

“I hope you look more pleased about this on the actual day, if not my pictures will come out badly.” Momo said to contradict her thoughts.

The woman made a noise of disapproval.

“There’s the pretentious side. I knew you had it in you.”

The smile at the end gave her away and Momo smiled as well. She watched the woman bend to pick up a stray pale, blue flower and bring it to her nose. She smiled as she kept it in her hand and looked down at it while she walked.

“You’re the runaway bride type, I assume.”

The woman looked at her and let a short laugh out, eyes full of amusement.

“I’ve never really ran away from anything. What reason would I have to?” She looked straight ahead again at the church. “It’s my wedding.”

Momo wondered what the woman saw when she looked at the white church. Momo saw a sort of sham – an illusion that people had kept up for far too many years. Nothing about it was real to her and she struggled to see how it could instil confidence into some.

“I don’t know. I only met you five minutes ago and I don’t share your ability for reading people.”

“Is the pretentious photographer making a joke at my expense?” The bride turned to her and stopped walking. “Sana told me you were dry but I didn’t expect it to be humor wise.”

Momo made a face at that.

“You think photographers have dry personalities and are somewhat obnoxious.” She tilted her head. “Do I want to hear your thoughts on painters or any other lines of work that don’t require a desk and paper work?”

The woman smiled.

“Oh, I hate them all. Never met one I admired.”

Momo shook her head and kept on walking towards Sana, who had apparently finished her phone call.

“You know Sana well?”

“We’ve been best friends since eleven. She’s been planning my wedding since thirteen.”

Momo nodded her head. She would have to ask Sana plenty questions about the bride-to-be beside her with the pale blue flower in hand and the frown on her face.

“Did you look this enthusiastic at thirteen as well?”

The bride’s frown was replaced by a smile as she looked at Momo. There was a glint in her eye that gave Momo the impression that she was thinking back to her younger self.

“I was always happy to be Sana’s test bride. Back then I was married to all sorts of boys – there was a Batman action figure, a stuffed bunny that I got for my birthday... I think Sana even once married me to a broom.”

Momo smiled. She had only known Sana for three years and they had a mostly professional relationship, but it seemed like something she would’ve done.

The sun made Momo’s head burn and she wanted nothing more than to seek relief in the air conditioning of her car. She knew Sana wouldn’t be too pleased if she did that.

“Where’s your other half?” Momo asked instead. It was odd to see couples who weren’t joined at the hip during this time.

She watched the woman shield her eyes from the light as it shone particularly brightly when they lined up with it on the field. Momo couldn’t help but notice the way her engagement ring sparkled with the rays of the sun.

“Probably still in the church fussing over unimportant details.”

Momo saw Sana look around as if searching for her. She wasn’t in a rush to be found.

“You’re the most unenthused bride I’ve ever met. Usually brides are the ones panicking over the unimportant things; if the reception should have cucumber sandwiches or no sandwiches, what kind of champagne would be appropriate. You know the like.”

The woman beside her laughed as if that was ridiculous.

“I’m happy I’ve always been unusual then.”

Sana finally met their eyes and waved them over.

“We’ve been spotted.”

Momo followed after her, pleasantly intrigued and somewhat amused by the odd woman – because her behaviour could only be described as odd. What kind of bride was so nonchalant about her own wedding? Momo had never encountered anything like it. Not even those women that would marry the richest man they could find and have the fastest weddings they could, even they scanned every detail with a meticulous eye and smiled brightly during all of it.

“I see you’ve met.” Sana smiled once they reached her. The trio walked together towards the gravel walkway that led to the church’s steps. Sana often joked that Momo would burn one day when she tried to enter. Momo always reminded her that that would be preferred.

“Yes, she was just calling me unusual and a flight risk.”

Momo’s jaw dropped slightly as Sana turned to give her a stern look.

“I didn’t - !” Well, not in so many words at least.

“Momo, how many times do I have to tell you that you can’t always speak so freely with clients? You’re lucky Nayeon is my friend or you could’ve been booted.”

“I think I would prefer that as well.” Momo muttered but the sly bride heard her and laughed carelessly. “So this is Nayeon? I wasn’t aware that she was the one getting married.”

Momo had pictured the woman to be completely different from all the descriptions Sana had given her over the past three years. The woman Sana described was wild and untameable, always luring her into situations that either ended horribly or wonderfully. Either way, they made for great stories.

Sana hummed while the other woman frowned. Her hand rested daintily on the rail up the steps and she didn’t look too eager about reaching the top of them.

“Gossiping about me to colleagues, Sana?”

The blonde raised her eyebrow and looked down at her from one stair above.

“Like you don’t tell yours every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done.”

“Our lunch breaks aren’t nearly long enough for that.” Nayeon teased and Sana laughed and hit her shoulder lightly. Momo had never seen Sana laugh so freely. She supposed it was a type of laugh reserved for friends that had known each other through their childhood and teenaged years.

“I’ve been looking all over for you.” The deep voice brought all their attention to the top of the steps. Momo didn’t miss the way both their smiles dropped. Her eyes scanned the attractive man that stood in a suit with an easy smile on his face. “Hello again, Sana.”

The blonde nodded at him.

“Geun.”

He looked to Momo next.

“Sorry, have we met before? I feel so rude.”

“Not yet, I’m the wedding photographer.” She gave him a smile – it was her job after all. He didn’t seem to share the same observational skills as his fiancé since Momo’s camera was still securely over her shoulder. “Nice to meet you.”

He walked closer to them and descended four of the white stoned steps until he was on the one above Sana’s. Momo couldn’t help but notice the joking atmosphere had completely vanished and a tensed silence washed over the other two women. If the man noticed as well, he completely ignored it as he greeted Momo.

“You as well, I was very impressed with the portfolio Sana showed me of your past work. I’ve always found a photographer’s ability to capture moments interesting.”

He seemed sincere and it took Momo a little by surprise. Usually her occupation was seen as something anyone with functioning hands could do.

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go in, I need to be back at work in another thirty minutes.”

“You said you would take the day.” It was the first time Momo had heard the bride speak since the man walked out. She gauged the slight frown on her face and the way her arms had folded over her chest, almost protectively instead of stubbornly. “My parents-”

“Will understand.” He cut her words off with a smile. It was thin on his lips and his eyes pierced into hers. “Let’s go in.”

Then he turned and headed back up the steps, expecting them to follow.

Sana and Nayeon shared secret words through their eyes and Momo could do nothing but watch from the sidelines as Sana took her friend’s hand and rubbed a thumb over the back of it. She followed behind them, a little confused over the brash exchange.

Momo passed through the wide doors of the church – Sana made her usual remark about Momo and Momo’s own was said back as always. The bright sunlight was traded for the stuffy air and almost complete darkness within the church. The large windows at the sides clearly weren’t made to be opened and Momo felt like the atmosphere was more daunting than encouraging.

Nayeon hadn’t left Sana’s side; she sort of clung to her even though her fiancé was right in front of them in the middle of the aisle that separated the two rows of benches.

Momo studied his face – she often did this with people she would photograph. In a way, it was to map out his best side, how his profile would look turned which way and that. Her eyes went down the dark hair that curled slightly at the ends, the equally as dark eyes that gave him an intimidating edge and the straight nose that made him more attractive. His lips were even the perfect size and shade of pink.

She was surprised when he turned his sharp eyes on her.

“How long have you been a photographer?”

His interest was new to her as well, couples never usually bothered to ask and Momo didn’t mind. It wasn’t about her.

“I started doing it professionally when I was twenty-one. I’m twenty-four now.”

He smiled. “Quite young to already know exactly what you want to be doing for the rest of your life.”

She returned the smile with a shrug.

“I’ve been surrounded by cameras my whole life since my dad was one as well. It wasn’t a hard decision.”

“Your dad was a camera?” Sana asked which earned a laugh from Nayeon and a glare from Momo.

“I meant a photographer.”

“Aren’t you worried that you’re only doing it because your dad did as well?”

The question caught her off guard but it wasn’t her who had answered it.

“Not everyone does whatever their father says just to please him.”

Momo looked at the bride and saw the way her eyes had steeled and her grip around Sana’s arm tightened. She looked back at the slowly ticking time bomb and saw he wore another easy smile. It wasn’t hard to see the subdued displeasure in his eyes at Nayeon’s outburst.

“Sorry if I sounded crass. People in your line of work just intrigue me.”

“Not a problem. I’ve been told how artsy and pretentious we can be.” She exchanged a secret smile with Nayeon.

A loud ring went through the quiet church and echoed.

“I have to take this.” He said as he looked at his phone. “Nayeon.” He called the name more like he was calling for the attention of a pet or stubborn child. “You’ll ride with Sana to your parents’, won’t you?”

She nodded her head. He smiled.

“See you at home then.” He pressed a kiss to her lips then turned to Momo. “Nice to meet you, I look forward to working with you.”

Nayeon spoke after he had exited the doors.

“Sorry for dumping myself on you, San.”

She was given a reassuring smile from the blonde.

“I actually missed your mom’s cooking anyway.”

The woman beside her laughed.

“Yah! You assume that you’re going to be fed just for dropping me there?”

They walked towards the doors themselves and Momo took it as her cue to follow. She was happy to be welcomed by the sun immediately and free of the confines of the church, even if it had only been a few short minutes. They descended the stairs and the pair in front of her talked back and forth happily until they were back on the gravelled walkway and their shoes were crunching the stones beneath their feet.

“Momoring, I’ll see you here on Thursday, right?”

Momo nodded her head and gave her an exaggerated salute. Where else would she be? It was her job.

“Two o’clock?”

Sana gave her a displeased look.

“Eight A.M and nothing later.”

Momo turned to the non-blushing bride when she heard the woman laugh.

“You find this funny?”

“My sense of humor isn’t as dry as yours, sorry.”

“Says the woman who just laughed at time.”

“I’d never laugh at time, that’s a dangerous thing to do.”

There was a smile on the woman’s lips that could only be described as taunting.

“You have the oddest views – what’s so dangerous about laughing at time?”

“Lots of things – what would you laugh at once it’s all gone?” Her brown eyes lost their spark as she looked behind Momo and to the white building. When their eyes met again, the bride smiled softly and offered Momo the pale blue flower between her fingers. “It was very nice to meet you, Momo.”

She took the flower with a smile.

“You too, despite your odd views on photographers, artists and now, time as well.”

“I think you’ll find that I have strong opinions about any and everything.”

Sana had been watching the two wordlessly and she finally decided to cut in after she let a short laugh out.

“That’s true, Nayeon could argue about anything no matter how small it was.”

“Let’s not test that.” Momo said quickly. Both women laughed.

“Not as dry as you claimed, Sana.” Nayeon smiled.

The blonde shrugged and looked at Momo.

“She has her moments.” Sana waved. “See you Thursday. Eight A.M, Momo.”

“Eight A.M.” She repeated with a smile.

Momo bowed slightly and watched them walk towards Sana’s car. They laughed on their way and Momo saw the bride with a bright smile on her face as she opened the car door.

Their eyes met again and she waved the hand that held the tiny flower. The brunette smiled. Momo found herself wondering exactly how the Nayeon she had just met and the one from Sana’s wild adventurous stories managed to be the same person at all. She twirled the little flower and tilted her head at it. Pale and blue, small and delicate under her touch.

It never left her grasp as she made her way to her own car and set it on the dashboard.

Time truly waited for no one. Momo had been five minutes late but she might as well have been an hour late given the look she received from Sana.

She took some pictures of the guests as they talked, hung back while they smiled and snapped more photos when they laughed with their heads thrown back. Chairs were lined up nicely on the large open field; Momo rolled her eyes at the divided set of chairs split through the middle. That was another thing about weddings that she hated – _it was so separate!_ What was supposed to be a union of families was segregated so blatantly.

Although she supposed it would look weird with a bulk of chairs clamped down in the middle as if they were watching a play. Even if Momo thought weddings were an act, these people clearly didn’t share her stance. 

Something hit the side of her face and brought her out of her thoughts. She lowered her camera from the couple she had been photographing and looked to the left where the large hedge was.

Momo was entirely certain that brides weren’t supposed to be hiding behind bushes on the day of their wedding.

Nayeon raised her eyebrows with a certain urgency in her expression as she ushered Momo over and ducked down again quickly so she was out of sight.

God, if Sana caught her...If Sana caught Nayeon!

She looked around the area, past all the decorations and the white cloth set down in the middle of the aisle for Nayeon to walk up. She spotted Sana with a clipboard in hand, micromanaging the hell out of everything she could as she waved to someone and told them to move a set of flowers more to the left.

The grass crumpled beneath her feet as she walked over and slipped behind the hedge as covertly as possible. Nayeon stood in ordinary clothes – a blue shirt and dark jeans. She had a smile on her face but Momo saw how nervous she looked. She was practically bouncing in place.

“Hey.” Momo greeted somewhat unsurely. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready?”

Nayeon peeked over the hedge then turned her head back to her.

“How could you tell? When you said I looked like a runaway bride.”

Momo made a face.

“That’s not what this is, right? I already spent two hours taking pictures of old strangers in big hats. That’s time I’ll never get back.”

Nayeon smiled and her thumb left the spot between her teeth where she had been biting it anxiously.

“Pretention becomes you, Momo.”

The Japanese tilted her head. Nayeon was still as weird now as she was two days before, if not weirder. She had never met anyone like her.

“Because you’re not like the others. No bride acts the way you did – the way you _are_.” Momo gestured to her bouncing stance. “You look like you’re dreading the whole thing.”

“I thought you said you weren’t good at reading people?” The brunette smiled again and this time it looked a little less frazzled.

“I’m usually not.” Momo answered honestly.

Nayeon stared at the hedge. Momo knew she was thinking about what was on the other side of it.

“Can I ask you a question?” She could either get fired after she asked or she could get an answer. Truthfully, Momo hadn’t thought of Nayeon since they last saw each other. Not in depth anyway, she would remember the strange bride with the odd views on random subjects whenever she looked at the wilted blue flower on the dashboard of her car, but that was all.

The nervous woman turned to her curiously, ears seemingly perked for any distractions available.

Unfortunately, Momo had a very pointed question.

“Why are you getting married?” It wasn’t her place by any means, she definitely had no right to ask anything of the sort to a woman who she wasn’t even friends with – but how could she stop herself? She had never seen a bride look so unwilling and Momo needed to know what would drive someone to do something so binding.

Nayeon had just stared at her but Momo wouldn’t take the question back. The brunette didn’t look particularly unhappy by it, just... unresponsive.

Bees buzzed, guests chattered and all the while Nayeon seemed to be thinking about her response. Then she settled on a smile that showed no teeth and bared no validity.

“From what Sana has told me, you don’t believe in marriage. You have no religion either.”

Momo wondered if Nayeon had asked about her or if Sana offered up the information freely.

“None suit me.”

Nayeon’s smile became a little more genuine at her words.

“Not all of us have that choice. Not all of us can try on different ones and decide which suit us best – I’m twenty-five now and unmarried. People talk. My parents listen. Things happen.”

Momo didn’t say it aloud, but it made no sense to her. If Nayeon’s answer to her question was that her parents made her get married, this truly wasn’t the Nayeon described to her by Sana.

“You think I’m foolish.” The brunette smiled.

Momo shook her head and the camera around her neck felt a little heavier at the unhappy look in the woman’s eyes. It wasn’t her place to judge Nayeon’s decisions.

“Unusual.”

Nayeon laughed.

“I have to go. My maid of honor will probably threaten to kill me soon. As soon as she finishes bossing people around.”

Then Nayeon gave her another smile before she took two steps and came to a stop again. She turned to Momo and the Japanese got a little distracted by the way the sun always seemed to find Nayeon and the way she always itched to raise her camera to eternalise it.

“None have to suit you, you know – religions I mean. I envy you in a way actually.”

Then Nayeon turned again and sneaked her way down until she was at the side of the church and met up with Sana, who took her hand right away and seemed to be giving her a lecture. Nayeon turned back to look at Momo from the great distance now between them.

The pictures came out well. Nayeon showed no teeth in any of them and her husband did the complete opposite as he grinned for the crowd. With each snap of the camera Momo felt more and more uncomfortable. They were a very attractive couple – Nayeon was comparable to none and Geun wasn’t far behind.

Sana and Nayeon had both asked her to stay through until the very end, but Momo politely declined once her job was officially done.

She waved Sana off and Nayeon had given her a small smile in farewell.

After she closed the car door and breathed out all the tension that had built up in her body, Momo spotted the pale blue flower that had lost even more of its color. She twirled it beneath her fingers slowly.

Paler and less blue, smaller and even more delicate under her touch.

x


	2. Chapter 2

Every over excited _woof_ and sullen _meow_ made her flinch and sink just a little lower into the chair in the waiting room.

The woman next to her, with the long haired orange cat perched in her lap, kept peering at her over thinly framed glasses.

It felt like a million eyes were on her from the time she stepped foot in the clinic with the spotted dog in her arms.

The receptionist had been kind enough; she gave Momo a chart to fill out and smiled when Momo explained the situation – Momo made sure to make it _very_ clear the mutt in her arms was _not_ hers by any means; therefore it was entirely _not_ her fault that it looked so underfed and was covered in dirt. Granted, that had made her look more than a little guilty.

Momo shifted in her seat again when the child with the all black Labrador to her left coughed without even attempting to put a hand over his mouth. The dog beside him licked the plastic cone around its head and then tried in vain to get it off and then two cats were hissing at each other while they were just two inches apart – Momo wanted to go home before they actually brought their claws out and fought.

She wanted to get in her car – that the mutt had vomited in – and just drive off after she handed it over.

As if it could read her thoughts, the mixed breed average sized dog looked up at her from its place seated in her lap, gave her an unimpressed glance and then looked away again.

Just when Momo thought she was going to puke as well if she kept staring at the mint green walls, the receptionist at the desk in front smiled at her.

“Dirty Mutt, you’re up.” 

People gave her equally as dirty looks for the name she had chosen for the dog but she didn’t care.

Momo lifted the dog again; it hadn’t tried to walk at all since she found it – well _found_ implied she had just happened upon it and not well... At least she helped it.

She smiled at the woman who had gotten up from her seat, with the chart Momo filled out in her hand.

“Vet Im will take good care of you, don’t worry.” She was clearly addressing the dog and not Momo. She stopped at a white door that was left opened while a little girl with a birdcage walked out. “Hey, Soo, how’s Tweety?”

A little girl with two pigtails smiled brightly and held the cage up as far as she could so the kind receptionist could look into it.

“Good! Ms. Im says he just ate something wrong... I bet my brother was messing with him again.” She frowned and the woman laughed a little.

“You tell Joon if he does anything like this again, I’ll stop giving him money for the snack machine outside when he comes here.”

The little girl smiled brightly, showcasing her missing two front teeth.

“Got it! You’re the best, Ms. Park.”

Momo stood to the side while the interaction took place, feeling awkward. Once the little girl had turned and noticed her, she looked at the dog halfway limp in her arms.

“What happened to him?”

“Her.” Ms. Park corrected lightly and then pushed the little girl gently out of the room. “Get out of here; you know your mother hates waiting.”

The blonde made an apologetic face.

“Sorry about that. Oh, there you are.” She smiled at someone behind Momo.

“I was in the back, Tweety pooped all over my other coat.”

The voice was unmistakable and Momo turned to see a very familiar brunette smiling inside of the pale blue room. Her smile only widened after she moved her eyes to focus on Momo.

“Momo?” She raised her eyebrows. “This is a surprise. I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.”

“It’s not really a social visit, but I’m happy to see you as well.”

“Well I’ll leave you to it.” Ms. Park smiled again as she handed the chart over to Nayeon, whose eyes had now fallen on the limp dog as if she only just noticed it.

Once the door closed behind them, Nayeon gestured to the long metal table in the center of the room.

“Dirty Mutt?” She raised her eyebrows again as she read the chart that Momo had _diligently_ filled out.

“She’s not mine. I just brought her here.” Momo rested the dog down gently and it gave no protests. Just laid there as if bored.

“Lucky her, I’m sure.” Nayeon smiled. She turned to the dog after she put the clipboard down and brought a small light out which she shone in its face. “Has she moved on her own since you found her?”

Momo’s eyes landed on the ring the vet wore.

“No, not at all. Only thing she moves are her eyes to glare up at me.”

Nayeon laughed at that as she gently touched her fingers along the dog’s side with skilled and practiced hands.

“You found her and brought her here, right?” She moved to press lightly on the other side of the docile dog. “I’m sure she appreciates it.”

“Is that how you interpret the way her eyes are squinted at me? Appreciation?” Momo asked warily.

The dog truthfully did look displeased with her. She couldn’t exactly blame it either.

The cunning vet turned to her with her usual smile.

“Maybe you two share the same personality type.”

Momo studied the woman’s appearance while she had the chance. Her lips were painted a light shade of red that matched the blouse partially hidden beneath her lab coat and she wore black slacks to go with the black heels she stood in. Her jewellery was also kept to a minimum compared to the last time she had seen her – only wearing gold bobbed earrings and a simple necklace and wristwatch.

And of course, the gold ring on her finger.

“I thought that was specific to photographers? I can’t see this dog walking around with a Canon in her free time.”

Nayeon shook her head with a laugh as she gave the dog a small and gentle pat on the head.

“Don’t mind the broody photographer,” she said in a staged whisper, “I’m sure she would react the same way if she was hit by a car.” Nayeon turned to her with an upturned brow. “How did that happen exactly?”

Momo’s face turned a light shade of pink and she dared not tell Nayeon the truth of what actually happened.

“Not sure.” Momo said instead.

Nayeon looked dubious but said nothing more of it as she picked the chart back up and turned slightly to the dog who watched with its dark brown eyes.

“She’s responsive to light, I didn’t feel any broken bones either but we’ll do an X-ray to be on the safe side.” Nayeon wrote some things down. “People don’t normally bring in the dogs they hit or see get hit, so you did a good thing here.” She gave Momo a kind smile.

Momo felt a little guilty but not guilty enough to come clean. She just returned the smile and nodded.

“So, do I pay or...” She let the sentence trail off unsurely. The mutt wasn’t hers but she _had_ been the one to bring it in.

Nayeon laughed.

“Not unless you plan on keeping her after this.”

Momo looked towards the dog. She tilted her head and its eyes followed the movements. Under all that dirt was probably a very cute and lovable dog, one with equally as cute brown spots and a bushy tail that might wag when it was excited.

“I don’t think so.”

“Thought not.” The vet smiled and went back to completing her chart.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Nayeon didn’t look up from her task while she replied.

“Don’t believe in marriage, no religion or relationship – you don’t seem like the type to make a commitment willingly and therefore; a pet would be your worst nightmare.”

Momo blinked. Then she frowned.

“Exactly how much did Sana tell you about me?”

Nayeon laughed and shook her head.

“More than she told you about me.”

“You seem sure. I’ve heard all about your late nights filled with alcohol and seducing bouncers.”

At that, the vet’s pen stilled and she looked up at the Japanese with passive eyes.

“I usually have nothing to tell her about you in return,” Nayeon smiled, “but now I can say, that her friend Momo, hit a dog with her car.”

Momo’s eyes widened and she somewhat foolishly looked at the dog as if it could understand the conversation and would get angry at her.

“How did you know?”

Nayeon shook her head and put the chart down.

“You just told me.”

It was only a day later when Momo had returned to the vet clinic.

She waved at Ms. Park, who seemed to already know why she was there and then waited until someone came to show her to the kennels.

Her ears cried out as dogs yapped incessantly as she passed by their temporary little houses and she wanted so badly to just turn and go the other way. The vet attendant in front of her, who wore green scrubs, just walked normally as if the noise meant nothing to him. She figured he was used to it by now.

Momo was left alone with the loud noise as he pointed out the dog she came for.

She looked clean now, her coat was a golden sort of off brown color and she did indeed have those slightly darker brown spots all over. Her tail wasn’t wagging but Momo could see that it was bushy now that it wasn’t matted together by an accumulation of dirt.

The eyes of the dog remained the same though; disinterested and slightly bothered at not being left alone.

She couldn’t imagine the unsociable dog enjoyed being in a cage among all its yapping new friends.

With a huff, Momo inched closer to the cage that was eye-level to her and stared a little more. The dog looked sort of young, Momo was too busy panicking to notice it the day before, but now she could tell that the dog was teetering around actually being fully grown.

Nayeon was right of course, a pet had entirely no room in her life. She was sure Sana had also told her all about her issues with settling down and how she struggled to want to keep a relationship longer than four weeks at best.

Momo wasn’t the commitment type – maybe that was one of the reasons she found marriage so laughable. Not to mention absolutely frightening in all honesty. Nayeon didn't necessarily give her any positive feelings about it either. She had wondered how their marriage had been going within the six months since it had happened - it didn't escape her how Nayeon had been referred to as 'Ms. Im' the day before and not by the name she had heard at the wedding after the couple exchanged vows. 

She hooked her fingers through the cage and the dog’s eyes flitted over to them but made no moves to do anything else.

“Feeling guilty?”

She turned at the sound of Nayeon’s voice. The woman stood with her hands in the pockets of her lab coat and a blue mask around her neck. That day, Nayeon donned the green scrubs as well.

“Instead of pretentious?” She countered.

Nayeon shrugged and came closer. She turned to some of the dogs and called them by name to greet them.

“No one said they didn’t go hand in hand.”

“Can’t you find some other way to describe me? Something more flattering to be specific.”

The vet stopped once she was right beside her and her eyes were on the dog lying in the cage. It looked up at its newest visitor and Momo swore it even turned its head to look at Nayeon better.

“Hey there.” Nayeon smiled at it. “Your assailant is back.”

“I said flattering.”

“Your assailant is back _quickly_.” Nayeon corrected.

Momo, again, couldn’t find it within herself to be upset with Nayeon’s banter. She put it down to how likable Nayeon was and how warm her eyes were whenever she teased people constantly. It was hard to do anything but smile at her and already feel somewhat used to it.

“I just wanted to see how she was.”

“I see no car in sight so I suppose we could trust that.” Nayeon was stage whispering again and Momo rolled her eyes. “I’m very surprised to see you here actually.” She said as she finally turned to her. They were the same height that day since Nayeon wasn’t in her usual attire of heels.

Momo liked that she didn’t feel smaller anymore, she got the feeling Nayeon secretly used it to taunt her.

“I was in the neighbourhood.” It was a lie obviously; Momo lived quite a ways from the vet clinic. But she had gone home with those eyes burned into her memory and that unresponsive stare had led her back there... so yes, Nayeon was right again and she was in fact feeling guilty.

“Not running over more dogs I hope.”

“You enjoy taunting me, don’t you?”

The brunette laughed.

“It’s not you in particular, although I can’t say I don’t laugh with Sana about our encounters.”

Momo shook her head and looked towards the dog again so the vet couldn’t see her eyes anymore. Nayeon clearly didn’t need the height advantage to taunt her.

“Is that why she snickered behind my back after she saw me today? You told her I ran over a dog.”

“I didn’t start it that way. I told her I saw you, I didn’t think we would ever see each other again. I was pleased.”

Momo only saw sincerity when she looked back at her.

“You being a vet hadn’t even crossed my mind in the list of possibilities I thought up.” Momo admitted.

Nayeon raised her eyebrows and Momo fancied that it was her signature response.

“You were thinking about my possible occupation because...”

“Your views on other ones were so... _interesting_ ,” they shared a smile, “I was intrigued on what you wouldn't find pretentious.”

The brunette smile at her.

“Careful, Momo. You just admitted to thinking about me and finding me intriguing all in one go.”

The Japanese could do nothing but roll her eyes.

“But it would be a lie if I said I didn’t ask Sana my fair set of questions about you since we met.”

Momo looked at her and the other woman smiled at her briefly before checking her watch.

“My break is over, I have to get back.” She waved to the unnamed dog who had been silently observing the whole time. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

Momo nodded.

“Maybe you will.”

Nayeon smiled at the answer and shook her head as she turned to pass all the barking dogs again. She still waved and said goodbye to each one that her eyes fell on and Momo found herself admiring the woman’s sheer love for her job.

Her own eyes turned back to Not So Dirty Mutt and she realized Nayeon had been spot on about their shared dry personalities. It actually made her laugh as she looked at the barely responsive dog.

x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being here!


	3. Chapter 3

It wouldn’t be fair to call her selfish – she wasn’t selfish. She was just cautious.

She didn’t grow up that way of course; Momo had a childhood that she was fond of. Her real father wasn’t in the picture and her mother had moved them from Japan to Korea because she fell in love – but Momo didn’t mind that. She couldn’t mind when Korea had brought her Seunjin – the only father she would ever lay claim to.

Momo knew that a lot of little girls in her position would be upset, would hate their mother and the new man in their lives trying to replace someone as sensitive as a father. Momo wasn’t like that.

Seunjin and Momo started off as acquaintances. It was actually laughable how formal they were with each other, both taking great care not to cross any boundaries they didn’t know of. Then one day, Momo saw Seunjin going through a brown photo album with Japanese words on the front of it and immediately recognised it as the one from her old home.

She wasn’t upset that he dared to touch it, to go through memories she had with her mother when she had been younger. Momo was just confused about why Seunjin had thumbed through the book in the living room and then carefully selected three of the pictures. If he noticed her stare from the entryway, he said nothing of it as he placed the photos down on the coffee table.

It was that day, while they put up photos of her and her mother together in Seunjin’s home that they became friends.

He never tried too hard to be anything more, and maybe that was what made Momo so comfortable.

“That’s pretty.” Momo had said when she looked at one of the pictures higher on the off white wall. Seunjin was taller than her and his eyes lined up with the frame perfectly.

He looked down at her and smiled.

“I took that one. It was five springs ago but I still remember how beautiful those ducks looked in person.” He took the photo down so Momo could hold it in her small hands. “Spring is a good time to take pictures, all the plants bloom and multiply and all the animals look calmer.”

He spoke in simple Korean, gestured to the flowers in the still vibrant picture so Momo would make the connection easily. She laughed while he mimicked the ducks’quacks that day.

“I like it.” Momo had said in a small voice. She liked everything about the photo, loved how green the grass looked from the distance that Seunjin had taken it, loved how she could see wispy flowers that shot out by the bank of the pond and of course, she loved the two ducks and the duckling that trailed behind them in the water.

Seunjin smiled.

“You can have that.” Then he hesitated a little – still worried about overstepping – before he gave her an offer that made her eyes light up. “You know I take lots of these kinds of pictures.” Momo nodded. “Would you like to come with me tomorrow? We won’t see any ducks but the flowers will still be there.”

Momo had smiled and nodded again. Seunjin never chastised her for not using her words; he just smiled and nodded as well.

That was how it had started, Momo would accompany him whenever he went to take pictures and she would watch with great interest each time. The first photo she ever took was when she was seven – Seunjin’s birthday party was fun; Momo had lots of cake and her mother had been running in and out of the house for beverages and more food. Momo found that she liked the way her mother smiled at Seunjin while everyone sang him happy birthday and she liked the way he smiled back at her. No one had ever smiled at her mother that way and they both looked so happy.

So Momo grabbed his camera that had been on the large table in their backyard, held it up the way she saw him do countless times and then, _click!_

The flash went off the same time the song had ended and it had drawn the attention to the seven year old with the big camera in her hands that looked like it weighed her down.

She had a large smile on her face as she and Seunjin framed the photo two days later and the smile only grew when he announced it was the best present he had ever received.

They became father and daughter after that.

She wasn’t selfish – just cautious.

That photo was one of many she took of her parents but in the end, it was the one her and her mother had picked out to display at his funeral.

Momo thought a lot about it; sudden deaths had a way of shocking you and making you freeze. She didn’t cry while her mother did, she just went to her room and stared at the picture with the three ducks.

She hated parties – even small ones that were just going to be _one or two people... maybe some friends I know from school_. So it made no sense how Sana managed to get her to go to the _small get together_ at her house.

Sana’s house was big, had a classic feel to it and modern furniture that her parents had furnished the place with for her. Momo had only ever been there once before to pick the blonde up when she had car trouble but back then she hadn’t stayed long enough to appreciate the intricate carvings in the wood on the banister that led to the upstairs portion of the house or the tall plants potted right by the entrance.

“I invited you here to socialize, not wander about with a slack jaw.” Sana said from behind her.

Momo turned to her and shrugged.

“It’s a beautiful house.”

The one or two friends had turned into at least thirty people that accumulated in Sana’s living room. Momo could hear them laugh and cheer as they played some game and she was determined not to leave the precious area that hid her from everyone else. She had been getting away with it until Sana passed by the stairs on her way to the kitchen and spotted her.

“Come with me, they don’t bite.”

The blonde smiled slightly at her, she probably felt bad about encouraging her to go to her small get together. It was no secret that Momo wasn’t the most social person.

“I’m fine here. If you don’t mind...” She jutted her head in a silent question towards the art Sana had hung up

“Go for it, you’re the only person that has even looked at them so far.” She laughed and Momo smiled a little awkwardly. Sana nodded and took her cue to leave Momo alone to distract herself with the art. “Whenever you’re ready, you know where I’ll be.”

The Japanese nodded her head, thankful that she had gotten out of joining the others.

Sana walked away to the kitchen that was further ahead in her spacious house and Momo’s eyes watched her disappear behind a corner when she turned left – what did Sana do with a big space like this? As far as Momo knew the blonde wasn’t seeing anyone, not seriously anyway.

Momo walked up to the wall that had caught her attention the moment she saw it. It was a white wall and the frames on the paintings that were showcased were a bold black. It was a heavy contrast and it made Momo curious since the rest of Sana’s walls were a cream colour. This wall in particular was obviously meant to grab one’s attention. She wondered why since Sana never even showed any interest in art. Was this her parents’ doing as well?

Her head tilted at the image of a toddler boy in a floppy yellow hat, standing in the center of an empty field with wild grass. His expression couldn’t be seen but Momo stepped closer anyway as if it would help her to.

“Don’t yell at me, I said I didn’t notice.” The voice didn’t register immediately. She had been too focused on the painting. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t take this stain out of my shirt, does it? Sorry doesn’t get my five hundred dollars back either.”

“Keep it down before you make a scene. We were having a nice night.”

“Nice? Is that what you call your friends glaring at me while I sit to the side like some rebellious dog?”

The voices got nearer and increasingly impatient with the other. Momo felt her small bit of peace fading as she remained by the painting. She unconsciously mimicked the stance of the small boy all alone in that field.

“What do you want from me? You’re the one that insisted on coming. I really thought we were having a nice night.”

“You were having a nice night! I was on the edge of the couch while you laughed and had a great time.”

“Just-”

Heels clicked against the polished wooden floorboards and the voices were hushed immediately.

“What are you guys doing out here? You’re not leaving already are you?” That had clearly been Sana. Momo turned her head and saw them in the middle of the narrow hallway. Sana had been frowning at the couple who had their backs to Momo. The blonde shifted with the tray of drinks in her hands.

“We are actually.” The man said and it made the brunette beside him snap her neck to him in response.

Momo saw Sana’s hold tighten around the metal tray.

“You were only here thirty minutes.” She pointed out with what looked like a forced smile.

“How long are we required to stay? My party etiquette is rusty.”

“Geun, let’s just-” The brunette touched his arm gently but it was quickly shrugged off.

“Let’s just nothing. I said we were leaving, didn’t I?” He turned to her and Momo didn’t have to be in Sana’s spot to see the piercing look he gave her with those intense dark eyes. “Tell your friend goodbye. I’ll wait in the car. Fifteen minutes. ”

He brushed past Sana without another word and Momo watched Nayeon deflate into Sana’s shoulder.

“It’s okay.” The blonde had said. Her hands were occupied so she couldn’t put one around Nayeon.

“I’m sorry. I know you wanted to spend time with me.”

“I thought if it was a party he would at least let you stay two hours.”

Nayeon shook her head and pulled back. Momo turned her eyes back to the painting but her ears still picked up on everything.

“I know. I promise I’ll meet your special friend some other time, okay?”

“I’ll have a good word with her for being so late...”

“You will, won’t you?” There was a short laugh between them.

“You know, Momo’s here.”

A small pause while Momo’s eyes widened a small fraction at the mention of her name.

“Momo?” She heard Nayeon ask.

“Momo.” Sana confirmed. “She’s somewhere lurking about leering at paintings – anything to avoid socialization, of course.”

“I’m surprised you got her to come. She didn’t seem like the party type.”

“I might have lied and said it wouldn’t be too many people.”

The Japanese heard the voices get closer gradually as the pair moved towards her location. She didn’t turn to them when she saw the tip of Sana’s heel from the corner of her eye.

“There she is. Right where I left her.”

Momo looked to her side at the friends and she couldn’t help but notice the flower patterned dress Nayeon wore – it was perfect for spring time. Her eyes found their matching smiles next.

“Vet Im.” Momo nodded to her in greeting.

“Momo.” Nayeon nodded back. “What an odd place to hide.”

Momo ignored the well placed statement as Sana gestured to the tray in her hands.

“I better get these out.” She gave Nayeon a look. “Don’t make him wait long.”

“I won’t.” After Sana walked off, the brunette turned back to Momo and walked closer to her. She looked at the painting as well, hands behind her back and lips pursed. “Not much left to interpret, is there?”

Momo looked at the painting again as well. She smelt the faint scent of Nayeon’s perfume – she didn’t have any clue what exactly it smelt of, just that it was pleasant and light.

“Isn’t there? There are a lot of questions this painting could make you ask.”

Nayeon hummed. 

“My main one would be why he looks so sad.”

The toddler in the painting clearly had no distinct emotion – that was left to the interpretation of the viewer. Nayeon had seen a sad child, but to Momo he just looked unperturbed by being alone. To her his face was relaxed, almost blank with any emotion at all.

“How’s the mutt?” Momo asked instead. It had been two days since she last saw the small dog but it crossed her mind plenty times. The beady eyes and stilled tail had left a mark on her heart unfortunately. 

Nayeon laughed. Momo smiled.

“Still as indifferent but doing a lot better now that she’s clear of the antibiotics – don’t think she liked those much. She should be free to leave soon.”

That caught Momo’s attention quickly and the smile fell.

“Leave?”

The woman turned to her with risen brows.

“Yes, dogs get better then they get adopted. Did you think we kept them forever?”

Momo focused on the painting again. A small frown was on her face.

“No. I guess that wouldn’t make much sense.”

The crowd in the other room got a little louder and Momo thought back to Geun’s words and wondered how long she was required to stay before she could go home as well. She had given it a fair chance, these types of things just weren’t for her.

“You seem upset by that.” Nayeon sounded amused. The smile that Momo peeked at confirmed the assessment. “Why don’t you just take her? You’ve already knocked her over, how much worse of an owner could you be?”

The Japanese once again reminded herself that Nayeon was harmless and had no bad intentions with the things she said. Not that she cared what Nayeon said.

“I don’t do pets.” She said simply.

“Right, your failure to commit.”

“You should stop listening to every little thing Sana tells you about me. Not all of it is accurate.” Maybe her tone had a touch of defensiveness etched into it.

A short laugh came from Nayeon.

“Accurate? You think I ask her about you for accuracy? I’m very aware of Sana’s over active imagination when it comes to people.”

Momo’s frown returned. What exactly had Sana been saying about her? And did it mean all the stories about her and Nayeon’s adventures in the city were also partly fiction? That would explain the sharp differences in personality. Although, at times it wasn’t hard to picture the woman beside her grinning and leading Sana down the risky paths she described.

“She should be more careful about what she makes people believe.”

“Or you could be less naive.”

Momo smiled again despite herself because she had never been described as _naive_ before. It was a description for someone who still had a drip of innocence in them.

“I’m not naive.”

“Then that means you’re more trusting than you let on.”

She turned and looked at the woman, found Nayeon’s elegant side profile as she still studied the painting intently. As if she could hold up the banter between her and Momo with only a quarter of her attention put into it.

“Not that either.”

“Sure. What do you see? In that.” She nodded towards the painting. "From a pretentious point of view."

“Indifference.”

Nayeon’s eyes met hers. Momo saw her eyebrows rise slightly but before she could bite out another reply, a blonde reappeared.

“I knew you would have trouble tearing yourself away from her – Nayeon, you have to go.” She tapped the silver watch around her wrist.

Nayeon laughed.

“Yes, mother.” Sana rolled her eyes but there was still a smile there. Nayeon looked back to Momo. “I’ll see you around?”

She nodded her head.

“Maybe you will.”

Nayeon smiled a little more at that and Momo returned it.

She watched her walked off with Sana beside her and the Japanese was left to stare at the painting a little more.

She tried to see a frown on the undefined lips or a furrow in the barely there brows – but she saw neither. She understood why she personally saw indifference – but why had Nayeon seen sadness?

x. 


	4. Chapter 4

Spring brought a lot of expectations from new couples that hoped to make a day worth remembering for the rest of their lives. Spring meant rejuvenation and sprouts of new life from beneath damp soil.

Momo stared absently ahead while Sana talked with a man and woman at least two times her age. It was rare for her to get older customers – usually Sana’s clientele was limited to young couples that wouldn’t fight her every step of the way and propose old fashioned ideas. The blonde hated when the client tried to do all of _her_ job for her – sure, suggestions were appreciated; but flat out disregarding all of her hard work wasn’t.

This couple however, might have changed Sana’s perception of older clients altogether with how easy they were to work with.

“I think since its spring it’s only appropriate to have the plum blossoms be the main flower of attraction – they really are beautiful this time of year.”

The woman with greying hair laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Very true. The ones in my garden look so amazing.”

Her fiancé hadn’t said much the entire time, but it didn’t escape Momo how his hand never left hers. Or how he would turn his head to watch her whenever she spoke. She could only describe the looks and the way he smiled as devotion. 

Momo thought that marriages were even less sincere the second time around. She hadn’t said much either after she had been introduced. They didn’t exclude her from the conversation, on the contrary they had tried multiple times to rope her into it, but Momo was too busy focused on the itch she felt to leave the meeting and take thousands of pictures of spring before it ended.

Sana walked with her to the parking lot after, both their heels making hardly any noise in comparison to the busy construction site on the road across from the church they were previously in. It looked like a new service station was going up.

“You hated my party, didn’t you?” The younger girl asked as they reached their cars that were parked alongside each other. “I’m sorry.”

Momo hadn’t expected the apology. It had already been three days since the odd get together. She left shortly after Nayeon did and gave some excuse about a headache that Sana laughed at.

“It’s fine, I’m surprised you invited me at all.”

Sana chuckled as her blonde hair blew with a sudden gust of wind.

“It’s not a secret you’re not very sociable. I don’t even think you realize I’ve been trying to be your friend for the better part of three years.”

Her voice held no malice but Momo still felt bad as she looked at her. She had no idea Sana had been trying to get closer to her – she thought all the parties she was invited to was just a colleague being polite.

“Don’t get in your head about it now.” She laughed again and rummaged through her handbag for her car keys. “The only reason I brought it up was because Nayeon mentioned that might be the case.”

“Nayeon?” 

It was funny how the woman seemed to work her way into most of their conversations for the last four months.

“Yep.” Sana brought the keys to the cherry red car out and shot her another smile. “She said that my hints weren’t going to be picked up on by someone like you. It’s been years of knowing her but I still hate when she’s right about things.”

Momo frowned slightly.

“Someone like me? What exactly have you been telling her about me?”

“Nothing too out there,” Sana smiled but changed it to a warmer look when Momo didn’t smile back. “I’m serious. I don’t know that much about you myself; there wasn’t much to share when she asked.”

Momo remembered Nayeon saying that she didn’t ask Sana about her for _accuracy_ – then why did she ask at all?

“She asks about me a lot then?” Momo tried to sound casual about the whole thing.

“You could say that.” Sana fiddled with the keys in her hand. “Nayeon’s a vet – she sees a wounded animal and she tries to fix it. Her mind is no different when it comes to people.” She couldn't tell if Sana was serious or teasing her. 

Momo’s frown became more pronounced until a smile took its place. Nayeon seemed more like the wounded animal in this scenario if the way Geun talked to her was any indication. She was the last person that needed to be coddled and the mere thought of someone pitying her under false pretenses just amused her. Naive _and_ broken? _..._ it was laughable. 

“I suggest you tell your friend that I’m not some injured dove that a four year old brought to her in a shoebox.” She turned to her own car and unlocked it. “And that maybe she should focus on _her_ own wings.”

Sana didn’t reply but Momo saw the way she pursed her lips.

Momo looked at all the different types of trees planted around the vet clinic. They all bared beautiful flowers that were colorful and easily swayed by the heavy winds. She climbed the blue steps and pulled the door open, only to be immediately greeted by a large dog and a man struggling to control it by a tattered brown leash.

“Slow down!”

He yelled as they both brushed past her and down the very steps she had just came up. Momo watched with a little amusement as the dark brown dog kept half running half walking despite its owner’s attempts to calm him.

“He’s excited to be going home again.”

Momo turned to see Ms. Park behind her with a clipboard in hand. Her short hair was a lovely brown color now and a part of Momo wanted to compliment her on it, but she felt too awkward about mentioning something so random and said nothing instead.

The kind woman took up the space in conversation with another warm smile and moved aside so Momo could step in fully. The chime above the door gave one last sound as the outside world disappeared and the awful green walls of the vet clinic surrounded her.

“Here to see your girl?”

They both walked towards the front desk and Momo was surprised to see an empty room. Usually there were at least two animals slobbering on the tiles of the waiting room.

“She’s not mine.” Momo corrected but received only a playful smile. “Can I? Or are you closed or something?” She looked around again at the empty room.

Ms. Park shook her head.

“Oh, no. Just one of the rare days where in here is quiet, might not last too long.”

Momo didn’t say it aloud, but she preferred these days to the loud ones.

Of course, the back area where all the cages were stacked upon each other didn’t get the memo that the rest of the clinic was supposed to be quiet that evening and the dogs there barked endlessly. They got even louder when they saw Momo, and took the opportunity to be as loud as possible for the new human in their presence.

Momo walked to the end of the room where the docile dog usually was – only to find an empty cage. This had been something she feared (secretly) and she felt a pang of disappointment. Nayeon told her that the dog might get adopted but she hadn’t expected it to be this soon.

She reasoned with herself and decided it was for the best. The dog deserved a nice home anyway and it was selfish to wish she had stuck around in the clinic’s cage a little longer.

“Oh, look who’s here.”

Momo’s head turned left at Nayeon’s voice. She refused to admit to herself that she smiled when she saw the dog in the woman’s arms.

“I expected you here sooner honestly.” Nayeon said as she came closer. Momo was focused on the dog that stayed in her arms without any complaint. The sandy brown color of its fur was a little darker and Momo could smell the fragrant dog shampoo that had been used recently. Its dark eyes looked up at her and stayed on her. “You can hold her if you want. She’s nice and clean.”

She looked up at Nayeon to see the woman smiling.

The dog was pushed into her arms seconds later and Momo didn’t fight it as much as she thought she would. The dog didn’t fight it either.

Nayeon laughed at the pair.

“You have the same expression right now. I’m tempted to take a picture.”

Momo smiled.

“Taking an interest in becoming a photographer?”

It was important to note that spring time made Momo sentimental.

She watched as Nayeon stood with her arms behind her back and moved her eyes around to the cages one by one, as if checking each of them.

The brunette had her hair swept up into a loose ponytail and it drew Momo’s eyes to her bare neck. Nayeon had smooth skin that was a warm complexion and Momo remembered the first time she had ever seen her in the open field months ago. Back then she had taken one look at Nayeon and felt the familiar tug to take picture after picture of her – as if she was spring itself, Momo wanted to capture her the way no one else ever would. (She never voiced that – Nayeon would just call her pretentious and she wasn’t too good at giving compliments anyhow.) 

As mentioned before, Momo studied everything before she photographed it; whether it was a goat or a person or even a daisy. That day she had studied Nayeon before she even knew she would be the bride. Momo didn’t have to think too hard to remember the way the wind had blown and moved Nayeon’s reddish brown hair about behind her shoulders; the way that the light freckles on Nayeon’s face from the sun had made her even more picturesque; the brown eyes that the bright day had made lighter as she shielded her eyes from it; the gentle way Nayeon’s fingers held that pale blue flower as if it meant the world to her.

Momo had blamed the summer for making Nayeon so beautiful – kissing her skin and making it look healthy with such a nice glow to it... easy to lose yourself to if you dared touch it. She blamed the summer for the shine it gave Nayeon’s hair, too, the way it made each highlighted strand stand out beautifully and the way it made the woman’s smile dreamy and something that Momo could only imagine seeing in a movie.

“’Course not. I’m not nearly artsy enough for it.”

But as Momo looked at her now, with her hands behind her back in slightly damp scrubs and her hair tied messily, Momo wanted to blame the vet clinic’s fluorescent lights because Nayeon looked every bit as beautiful as summer had painted her to be.

Momo hummed and looked down at the dog in her hands. It had its head cradled between the space of her elbow and she smiled a little at how tolerant it was. She rid her mind of anymore thoughts of the other woman. Maybe she was _too_ artsy. And entirely too sentimental over the wrong things during spring.

“People came and looked at her today. A lovely lady and her daughter – she was the most energetic kid I’ve ever seen.”

The Japanese tensed a little and her hand paused it’s movements over the dog’s slightly wet fur.

“Oh?”

“Mm.” Nayeon nodded. “I told them she already had an owner though. They left with a kitten instead actually.”

She looked up at the smiling woman who already had her eyes on hers. Once their gazes locked, Momo was reminded of the conversation she had with Sana hours before.

“She doesn’t have an owner though, does she?”

The woman shook her head.

“No, just buying you some time to realize you actually want her.”

Momo rolled her eyes. She didn’t want the dog.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Nayeon raised her eyebrows as if she was surprised by Momo’s reaction.

“I know, but let’s be honest; this dog doesn’t exactly fit well with an energetic ten year old, does she?”

“And you think she fits well with me I suppose?”

“I told you that you both have similar dispositions. It’s my job to place animals with families that I think will suit them, too.” She explained. “I wasn’t just saying it to be funny.”

The brunette shook her head and gestured to the dog.

“Besides, she trusts you.”

“I knocked her down with my car.” Momo said tersely as she watched the woman’s eyes. 

“Yet she’s sleeping in your arms.”

Momo looked down and saw that the dog was in fact asleep in her arms. She blushed slightly when Nayeon giggled.

“Now this definitely needs a picture. Sana will love it.”

“Do you and Sana not discuss anything else but the socially awkward photographer you have in common?”

Nayeon seemed a little more than amused by the brazen question but she eventually settled on a small smile that Momo didn’t find entirely patronizing.

“I might not be particularly interested in photography but photographers recently became very conversation worthy.”

Momo turned to put the dog in her cage. She was gentle as she did it but the dog still woke up once it left her arms. It went right back to sleep though and Nayeon closed the cage’s door.

“I’m not one of your patients, Vet Im.”

Nayeon laughed shortly.

“Your lack of tail or feathers gave you away, I’m afraid.”

Momo didn’t like that she tried to make a joke out of it. She shook her head.

“Sana mentioned that your interest in me revolved around your need to... fix people. I don’t need fixing, thought I would make that clear.”

Nayeon laughed again and Momo frowned.

“My, you’re much more talkative when you’re comfortable aren’t you?” Nayeon shook her head at her. “I hardly know you, Momo – what would I fix? I don't know your tortured past or what keeps you up at night. You're not broken to me or whatever Sana made you believe.”

When Momo only frowned in response Nayeon rolled her eyes and moved away.

“I didn’t ask Sana about you for directions on how to _fix_ you.”

“Good then.” Momo walked past her but Nayeon’s fingers wrapped around her wrist easily. She looked down at the hand on her skin and then back up to find Nayeon’s brown eyes on her. 

“You’re not used to people being interested in you often, are you?”

“I suspect plenty people have been interested in me, I’m just very inept when it comes to noticing that interest.”

Nayeon smiled and raised her eyebrows. Her hold hadn’t loosened.

“Can you tell where this is going then? Or do I need to actually spell out that I’m interested in being your friend?”

“That depends on if your friendship usually involves this much contact.” Momo gestured to the hand on her wrist. “If so I might have to decline.”

Nayeon chuckled and Momo was so close that the sound of it raised goosebumps on her skin.

“Is that so?” Her voice had that taunting edge back. “You have a problem with me touching you? Or just people in general?” The way she asked it let Momo know that she was fishing for more information. 

“Both maybe.”

Nayeon smiled a little more.

“I should get you used to it then.”

Then her fingers unwrapped themselves and Nayeon gave her some space.

“Not entirely sure it’s something I want to be used to.” Momo muttered.

Nayeon laughed again.

“Sana and I are going out for drinks tonight. Come with us.”

Momo made a face.

“Drinking isn’t my thing.”

“Then we’ll watch Sana get drunk together and take turns holding her hair back.”

“Compelling argument you put forth.” Momo said dryly.

Nayeon just laughed again.

She couldn’t help but think back to the night of Sana’s party and the words the blonde had said about how long Nayeon had been allowed to stay – they gave the impression that Nayeon couldn’t be out long with friends.

As if the woman heard her thoughts, she spoke.

“Please? Geun is out of town and that leaves me free to actually enjoy myself. You’ll also be doing me a favor since Sana’s girlfriend will be there – would you really make me a third wheel?”

The look she gave Momo suggested that she was aware she had already won the battle. Momo wondered how many battles Nayeon won with that charming smile and those pretty eyes.

Her eyes drifted down to the hand that held hers before and she saw the gold band there.

_That leaves me free to actually enjoy myself..._

“In the spirit of everyone wanting to be my friend today, I’ll come.”

Momo smiled and Nayeon smiled back.

She was finally going to see if the Nayeon from Sana’s stories were fiction or not.

Momo walked side by side with the other woman.

She had her hands in the pockets of her jeans as they passed by all the nightlife in the city. The busy bars and the nightclubs with neon lights didn’t really get too much of her attention. The night air wasn’t as chilly as she thought it would be so she had shed her denim jacket and was left in the low cut blue blouse she picked out earlier.

Nayeon had jeans on as well, paired with a long sleeved shirt with much more cleavage on show than Momo’s. Her heels made her barely an inch taller than Momo and the Japanese was thankful that she wore a pair of strappy heels as well if not she would’ve felt too small in comparison.

They had left the bar thirty minutes after they waited for Sana and her girlfriend diligently. Nayeon had stirred a drink that had a little vodka in it, then pulled her phone out and rolled her eyes before she downed the drink in one go and stood up.

Now, there they were. In silence as the night spoke over them and washed over their ears with sounds of drunken men and women that staggered around laughing with each other. Momo caught Nayeon laughing at them more than once but she said nothing.

She wondered why Nayeon hadn’t said goodbye to her back in the bar and called it a failed night. She wondered why Nayeon had walked out of the bar with her hands clasped behind her back – then looked back at her with raised brows as if to ask, _aren’t you coming?_

They walked far away from where Momo parked her car, but she didn’t mind that. She didn’t even mind that they seemed to be walking aimlessly.

Not when the night was this nice and Nayeon looked better than spring. She wasn’t even sure why she was so calm about her sudden appreciation for Nayeon’s looks – maybe because it wasn’t all that sudden. One of her first thoughts had been how stunning the brunette was after all.

Nayeon’s hand fell on her wrist again as she pulled Momo to the side when a bunch of kids passed by them.

Momo heard the woman’s melodic laugh as they stood to the side under a shop’s roof, then felt the release of her hand.

“Good?” Nayeon had smiled.

“Yeah.” Momo nodded. And then they were walking again, but Momo could see the smile on her face stretch wider. “What is it? I know you’ve been dying to talk this whole time.”

Nayeon laughed and turned to her, her hands finally moving from behind her back and folding over her chest.

“Am I that obvious?” She grinned and Momo smiled at how easy it looked. “I was trying to let you be. I know you prefer silence.”

“I have my moments where I like to talk, too.”

Nayeon shot her a look and the brown hair that fell over her eyes was quickly smoothed back by her hand. Nayeon wore barely any makeup but it just drew Momo's eyes to her face even more. The naturally red lips and the slight flush of her cheeks.

“I know that. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She looked back ahead again. They passed trees on the side of the pavement and convenience stores too tightly knitted together to not be in constant rivalry. “I’m already dragging you through the streets of Seoul with no clear destination.”

Momo laughed at that because she had been thinking similarly.

“I don’t mind. It’s pretty at night.”

“Pity you don’t have that obnoxious camera.”

“I don’t need a camera to remember the green leaves or the fifty –three people we’ve passed so far.”

Nayeon turned to her with wide eyes.

“Is that what you were doing while I respected your silence? Math?”

Momo laughed again and shook her head.

“It wasn’t intentional.”

“I hope I’m not that boring.”

She smiled at the woman and unintentionally walked a little closer to her when more people approached them. Something about Nayeon made her feel safer.

“Not at all. I actually found your efforts to stay quiet very amusing.”

Nayeon hooked her arm through hers while she chuckled, as if it was the most natural thing. Momo silently wondered if this was what it was like to have a friend.

“So you’ve been laughing at me this whole time? Good to know.”

They passed a street cart and Nayeon tilted her head towards it.

_“Tteokbokki?”_

Momo shrugged.

“If they have.” Though it was unlikely they wouldn’t.

Nayeon stepped forward to order but held Momo’s fingers loosely behind her back.

Momo looked around as Nayeon spoke to the woman in charge. Her eyes fell on a young couple that stood closely together and laughed with their heads thrown back.

“Momo.” She looked forward again as a container was handed to her.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to pay for mine.” She felt a little uncomfortable about Nayeon paying for her meal. “I’ll pay you back.”

Nayeon waved her off as she pulled them over to a green bench that was under a lone tree.

The steam from the container warmed Momo’s face and she didn’t waste any time moving a piece of the slippery food to her lips between her chopsticks. She smiled as she watched Nayeon hold a chicken skewer up and bit it.

Nayeon’s eyes found hers.

“Good?” She asked again.

“Good.” Momo nodded. 

Nayeon seemed pleased with the response.

“You smile a lot more when you’re comfortable too.” She noted offhandedly. 

Momo had no idea where the woman got the idea that she was uncomfortable at other times.

She chewed carefully and blew on the hot food. Momo didn’t bother to swat Nayeon’s chopsticks away when she stole a piece of her food.

“What makes you think I’m ever not comfortable? Is it because I’m quiet?”

Nayeon shook her head and covered her mouth as she spoke.

“No,” she laughed, “it’s just one of those things you pick up on after being around someone. I’m sure there’s something about me you noticed as well.”

Momo smiled behind her chopsticks as she thought about how Nayeon had the habit of putting her hands behind her back like an old woman deep in thought or the way she raised her eyebrows in response to almost everything.

“Nothing at all. I don’t think that hard about you.”

Nayeon laughed and raised her eyebrows on cue as she shoved Momo gently with her elbow. 

“Yah! I don’t think that hard about you either, I’m just good with people.”

“And animals.” Momo reminded her as she blew on another piece.

“Something you noticed?” Nayeon taunted. Momo just remained silent in response and the woman laughed. “I love animals, yeah. Just like how you always knew you were going to be a photographer, I always knew I was going to be a veterinarian.”

Momo hummed.

“I used to be afraid of almost everything with four legs until my dad took me to the zoo.”

Nayeon smiled at that.

“He sounds like he was a great dad.”

Momo noticed the way Nayeon spoke of him in the past tense without needing to be told. She was glad; it was always awkward to correct people and tell them that he had died.

“He was.”

A breeze flew by them and Nayeon’s sweet scent tickled Momo’s nose pleasantly.

Sometimes Momo would catch herself stepping out of moments – she realized then that she was sitting with Nayeon on a bench on a nice night eating food with her. The thought brought a weird feeling to her. It was warm and she suddenly thought of her mother. Suddenly wanted to call her and hear how she was and maybe mention that she had made a friend.

“You’re lucky.” Nayeon said. “My father leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t think we’ve spoken since the wedding actually.” She gave a short laugh but it held no humor.

Momo remembered the stern-looking man that had stood with his hands behind his back as he talked with the rest of Nayeon’s family. He didn’t have a smile on his face like Nayeon’s mother; he just watched with a slightly displeased look on his face.

“I didn’t get any pictures of him smiling.”

Nayeon laughed at that and this time it was a real one, but her eyes were a little sad.

“He hasn’t smiled around me since I told him I was getting married.” She cast her eyes to the container in her hands. “I think he’s disappointed with me, has been since I introduced him to Geun.”

Momo listened quietly while Nayeon spoke. Her curiosity had been roused ever since the day of Nayeon’s wedding where the brunette had informed her that not everyone had a choice – that sometimes they couldn’t just go with what _suited_ them. She wanted to know what Nayeon's choice would've been.

Brown eyes flashed to her briefly before Nayeon shook her head and placed more meat into her mouth so she didn’t have to keep talking.

Momo took the hint and changed the subject for her. Nayeon always seemed to clam up whenever her relationship was brought up.

“Do you want to go look at some street dancers after this? There’s a kid that always performs around this time of night on weekdays.”

Nayeon looked amused.

“You like dancers?”

“No. I like when the overconfident ones that are terrible accidentally fall.”

The woman laughed.

“Okay.”

And then they continued to eat together while the air got progressively chillier. Nayeon huddled a little closer to her for warmth and Momo laughed and did the same.

Maybe it was okay to be sentimental in the spring.


	5. Chapter 5

Her mother fussed around her in the familiar sitting room Momo had spent most of her younger years in. She held Momo’s dark hair between nimble fingers and twirled it in the same way she always had, looking at it as if she could see herself in the silky strands. Her vigilant eyes would glaze over and she would comment on how nice Momo’s skin looked – so young and nice, so clear and perfect. Momo would let her, it was the least she could do for her, right? _‘Momo... you’ve been keeping good care of yourself, haven’t you? You got my eyes... so light and deep.’... ‘Hai...’_

Momo was used to compliments – but not so used to acknowledging them. She knew she was attractive; long dark hair that was straight and went past her shoulders and fell to the middle of her back; her cheekbones that were well defined and her jaw that gave her otherwise feminine face a sharp edge.

Her mother was probably the only person who she would sit and let compliment her shallowly over and over again; because what daughter wouldn’t? Momo’s mother saw herself in her eyes – her younger self at least.

“Boyfriend?” She asked as she moved away and served the fresh brew of heavily scented tea. It flooded Momo’s mind with images of her sitting in the room over various ages drinking that same brand. “You’re too pretty to not have a boyfriend.”

And Momo was too respectful of her mother and her mother’s beliefs to ever roll her eyes at the idea of having a relationship with a man.

Some discoveries should remain a secret between you and your thirteen year old self.

Momo blew on her tea and drank it to give herself an excuse not to respond. Her mother was graceful in the way she smoothed a hand over her dress and breathed out a sigh that expressed her distaste for silence. The finger on her left hand still wore a dazzling wedding ring – she probably still shined it every day. Momo used to stare at it for long periods of time during dinner after Seunjin had passed - _no_ , died; because: _‘People don’t pass on, that makes it sound like God had nothing to do with it. People die and if they’re like Seunjin, they go to Heaven.’ –_ But she would stare at it until both of their plates were clear, confused about why her mother still wore it.

What did it mean if he was gone?

“How’s work?” She asked instead. That was a safe topic since Momo’s mother loved that she took after her father in regards to his love of photography.

Momo finally smiled.

“Good. I have a couple of jobs lined up until the end of April – then it’ll be busy again at the start of June.”

“That’s good that you keep busy.”

Momo resisted the urge to tell her she wasn’t _keeping_ busy, she just was. People that didn’t have anything to run from didn’t need to keep themselves busy. The thought of running away from things brought Nayeon to her mind; she hadn’t seen her since they met up a week prior, but many things reminded her of the brunette with summer in her eyes and spring in her words – light-hearted and full of life. And promises that she intended to keep.

“... _Hai_.”

And then the conversation was over and they were in one of those silences her mother hated but couldn’t always fix with words. Momo knew it was her fault that the silences happened – she had pulled away from her after Seunjin died, it wasn’t intentional by any means. She just couldn’t handle seeing her mother so sad and red eyed all the time, so she spent less and less time with her and her mother spent more time on her knees praying to something that had never answered her before.

Birds flew away as Momo’s shoes touched a patch of grass and she smiled a little at how they scampered so quickly. Everything was so _green!_ And the flowers by the brink of the pond were so elegant in the way they danced with the breeze; and the ducks, the ducks swam together in harmony near the bank by the clusters of bush in the water.

She got clear shots of them from a small distance. There was no need to go too close and disrupt the peace. Momo smiled to herself as she checked the pictures she took already; they were no match for Seunjin’s original masterpiece, but that was okay because she wasn’t trying to replace or replicate it.

Her camera rose again and she snapped another but quickly frowned because of the bushy tail that got in the frame at the last second. Momo pulled the camera from her eyes to look directly at the culprit, but the frown was quickly replaced by slight surprise at the sight of a familiar dog.

If she had any doubts about if it was the same brown spotted dog, the leash attached to it that led to a woman in a sundress and sandals confirmed it for her.

Nayeon hadn’t noticed her, she was too busy shading her eyes from the sun and trying to get the disinterested dog to go any further. A smile played on her lips at the sight of Nayeon struggling to pull the dog in another direction.

She didn’t have to think about it as she held the camera up again and relaxed her shoulders before she captured the moment. Her smile widened again at the image.

When she looked back up, the dog was heading her direction and Nayeon was pulling at it in shock.

“Wrong way, D.M!”

Momo laughed and Nayeon looked up at the sound. Her shock faded and their smiles mirrored each other as the woman stopped fighting the dog’s instincts and she let it pull her to Momo. The Japanese let the camera hang around her neck and barely noticed the weight of it while Nayeon walked towards her on the green grass holding the side of her dress against the wind. Brown eyes that were bright and seemingly shining never left hers.

When the dog finally stopped tugging and Nayeon was in front of Momo they both smiled a little more. Nayeon’s hair was down with a single blue ribbon around it to keep it away from her face and she wore her usual bobbed earrings in her ears and the simple gold necklace which fell nicely just below her collarbones.

“Momo.” She greeted.

“Vet Im.” Momo nodded in return. It took some time before she noticed the tentative lick on the back of her hand and looked down to see the growing dog staring at her. “And hello to you, too – what did you call her? D.M?”

Nayeon laughed a little.

“For Dirty Mutt – it felt weird giving her a new name and she’s been there too long to have _no_ name... so, I just shortened it so I felt better about it.”

Momo smiled and bent a little so she could give the dog a pat.

“She licked you.”

The Japanese looked up and shielded her eyes from the sun behind Nayeon.

“Always so observant, aren’t you?”

The woman shrugged.

“She hasn’t licked me yet.”

“Oh, no.” Momo replied half interested. The dog – D.M, had rubbed its nose against the palm of her hand until she opened it and gave her another pat on the head.

“She doesn’t show me that much affection either. Although I’m the one that feeds her and takes her on these special walks... not to mention I didn’t hit her with a car.”

“Always so eager to bring that up as well.” Momo muttered.

Nayeon sat down and crossed her legs on the soft grass. She had a small frown on her face that Momo smiled at; she found it ridiculous and amusing at the same time that Nayeon cared so much about whether or not an animal liked her.

“I’ll talk to her for you.” She offered. Nayeon smiled again, probably fully aware that Momo was just humouring her. The brunette put her hands behind her and leaned back on her palms.

“How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Momo sat as well and she pulled her jumper over her legs to help cover what her shorts didn’t. The dog had no problem with laying down right in the center of both women and panting lightly.

“I’ve been okay. Slightly busy with work, but not too much. What about you? Anything interesting?”

“Good that you’re keeping busy.” Nayeon said as she pulled grass from the ground absently. Momo’s head turned towards hers and then her eyes dropped to Nayeon’s busy hands that were pulling at the thin blades of grass. “Nothing at all. Sana would have told you if there was, don’t you think?”

“I think this park already has a gardener.”

Nayeon’s hands stilled and she looked at Momo with a grin.

“Right.” And then she let the blades of grass go altogether. “I hope I’m not interrupting you.” She gestured towards the camera.

“Not really. I took all the pictures I needed.” Momo smiled but it curled at the ends in a secret only she knew. Maybe she could have the picture printed and surprise Nayeon with it – Momo thought that might be a nice thing to have; who wouldn’t want a beautiful off guard of themselves?

“You should show me some time.”

And Momo smiled again because she knew Nayeon was more interested in her line of work than she ever let on.

“Maybe I will.”

That night, Momo stood around in her apartment thumbing through mail. She ended up throwing the pile onto her kitchen counter after she made her way there to start dinner – she wasn’t the best cook, but at least she tried.

Momo pulled her ingredients out and chopped what needed to be chopped while the water in the pot boiled. She rarely received calls – so naturally the last thing she expected was for her phone to start ringing mid-chop.

Her eyes scanned the room as the sound kept going and going and – where had she left it? She put the knife down and wiped her hands against a dish towel as she stepped out of the kitchen – desk? Chair? Where was it? She followed the noise like an ant would follow a trail of sugar, until she found the device on one of the many piles of books in her living room. She approached the coffee table quickly and swiped her thumb across the screen.

“Hello?” She answered as she held it to her ear.

_“Momoring!”_

Momo winced at the sound of the cheery voice.

“Sana? Why do you sound so hyper at nine P.M?” She walked back towards the kitchen quickly when she heard the sound of water boiling over. “Fuck.” Her first instinct was to grab the pot and take it off the fire – her first instincts always seemed to fail her; Momo swore again as she rushed to the tap and turned the water on.

She heard giggling on the other end and rolled her eyes. Her hand stung badly but she kept it under the flow of cold water until it subsided.

“Sana? This better be good.”

“It’s all okay – I’m here with Nayeon! _Vet Im!_ ” More giggling could be heard and Momo raised her eyebrow at the name. “I introduced her to my girlfriend!”

Momo was very confused about how any of this was her business but she just said a half hearted _‘oh?’_ and hoped Sana could tell from its lack of enthusiasm that she was puzzled over the sudden call. Sana only called her for work related things after all – mostly reminded her not to be late.

“We’re both drunk.” The blonde finally declared. Momo questioned if this was what friends did with each other – call and let them know when they were respectively inebriated. “We need your help.”

Momo finally turned the tap off and examined her hand under the lights of her kitchen. The skin on her palm was red and she wished she had listened to her mother when the woman told her she should keep a First Aid kit in her apartment.

“Momo? Hello... is the call still connected?”

“Sana watch where you’re walking.” There was some shuffling. “Mianhae...” Nayeon’s voice finally appeared and Momo stopped what she was doing. “I told you to let me talk. Go sit with your girlfriend before you bump into anyone else. Go.”

Momo forgot that her hand had been burnt only seconds ago and she rested it fully on the kitchen counter then yelped.

“Momo? Are you okay?”

She cursed silently before she answered.

“I’m fine – why is Sana drunk calling me? You’re not drunk, too, are you?” Her tone was very wary. She had no clue what they had expected from her. What could Sana possibly need help with?

“No, sober as ever unfortunately. Sober enough to remember every single time Sana’s tongue went down her girlfriend’s throat right in front of me.”

She sounded disgruntled and Momo took pleasure in it.

“Sorry I missed that.”

“I’m sure.” There was a small pause and Momo could tell by the sounds of heels on pavement that Nayeon had walked a little further. “ _Erm_ , but we really do need your help. Sana’s shitty car won’t start again and she picked both of us up. We’re sort of stranded – those two idiots don’t care because they’re drunk but I need to be home in forty minutes.”

Momo took all of it in as quickly as her brain allowed her to process it but thousands of countering questions still entered her mind. Why her? Sana had plenty of friends. Was it because she was close to wherever they were? Why did Nayeon need to be home in forty minutes?

“Thirty-nine.” Nayeon coughed. Momo shook her head and turned the stove off. She swiped her keys up from where she had left them by the coat rack and slipped her feet back into her shoes.

“Where are you exactly?” When Nayeon rattled off the location, Momo walked a little faster to her car; she lived almost twenty full minutes from there! “Was there really no one else you could call? If you need to be home so quickly, I’m the worst choice you could’ve decided on.”

The line went a little quiet for a moment and Momo was already outside in the cold air the night had offered her by the time Nayeon breathed out a reply.

“I trust you.”

The words almost made Momo halt completely while she fiddled to open her car door.

Almost.

Nayeon ushered two very drunk women that were giggling together, into the backseat of Momo’s car. Momo grimaced at the loud sounds that fell from their lips. The blonde locked eyes with her drunkenly since Momo had turned to them while Nayeon buckled their belts.

“ _Momoring_...” She said with a euphoric smile. Momo couldn’t mirror it.

Her eyes drifted to the woman beside her – she had long athletic legs and long brown hair that fell over her shoulder.

“Stop staring at my girlfriend.” Sana chided, which resulted in the woman beside her to erupt into another set of giggles.

Momo made a face at her as Nayeon opened the door on the passenger’s side and slid into the seat.

“Momo, let’s go.” Nayeon urged with a pointed look to the road. The Japanese nodded and turned back to place her hands on the steering wheel again. “Since Sana can’t make introductions right now, that’s Tzuyu.”

Momo nodded. 

“Hey.”

A giggle and then a slurred, “hey.”

“How many speeding tickets did you get?” She could hear the smile in Nayeon’s voice and she smiled in turn, happy that the woman was less panicked.

Momo had gone through a lot of red lights and cut a lot of drivers off in a lot of the same ways she hated – but it was worth it since she had reached the trio in record time.

“None yet, but we still have to actually get you to your house.” She shot the woman a glance. “So now would be a nice time to tell me where you live.”

Nayeon had a red dress on – even as she sat Momo could tell it hugged her waist and thighs. She liked red on Nayeon.

“Right, sorry.”

She gave clear directions – Sana would interject every couple of words with something that barely made sense and Nayeon would hush her and then glance at the time on the dashboard.

“We should be fine.”

“’Course we will. He won’t even be _home_ for another hour.” Sana muttered.

“Then why are we rushing?” Her girlfriend asked sounding bewildered. Momo felt the same. “I was having fun.”

“Because he’ll know if Nayeon’s home on time or not.” Sana answered with a weird bite to her tone. Nayeon shot the girl a sharp look but it went unnoticed as Sana rambled. “And we wouldn’t want that.”

“Enough, Sana.” The brunette spoke curtly.

The silence in the car that followed was uncomfortable to say the least. Momo always drove with the radio off but at that point she had considered turning it on. She had the windows in the front down, so at least that gave them the sound of traffic that went in the opposite direction. Momo rested her elbow on the lowered window and the side of her head followed suit until she was half cradling it.

Sana and her girlfriend didn’t break the quiet – maybe Nayeon’s uncharacteristically stern voice had sobered them enough to be sensible.

“Left here.” Nayeon said softly.

Momo chanced a look at her as she turned off the highway. Nayeon lived a far distance from her own apartment and she wasn’t familiar with the side of town, but noted that the posh cars and houses were apart of a suburban neighborhood.

“You okay?” Momo asked just as quietly.

Nayeon turned to her and the frown on her face made Momo keep her eyes on her a little longer.

“Fine.” She eventually mumbled and turned her face away to the window with a blank stare.

Momo pulled into a long driveway – the white garage was closed and Nayeon visibly breathed easier in her seat.

She unbuckled the seatbelt and gave Momo a quick glance that didn’t involve the meeting of their eyes. Momo was confused since Nayeon usually had no problem staring unabashedly whenever she wanted.

“Thank you.” She placed a hand on the car door to open it and Momo’s hand snapped out to the wrist on her left hand. Nayeon breathed out before she turned to her and even with only the car light above them, Momo still saw the slight frown on Nayeon’s red painted lips.

“Thanks, I’m sorry for all of this. You need to leave, okay?” Brown eyes that were usually so expressive only looked dull now as they glanced into the backseat. “Get her home safely, please.”

Momo nodded.

“Are you-”

“Go, Momo.” Nayeon cut her off. Momo felt like Nayeon knew she wouldn’t leave easily, because the older girl pulled a smile onto her lips a second later. It was a cheap imitation of her usual one but it still made Momo’s heart slow. “ Go.”

Then Momo nodded again and the woman nodded back – a mutual understanding between them as Nayeon climbed out of the car and made her way to the white door.

“Drive, Momoring.” Sana said; her previous energy drained now.

Momo didn’t even realize that she hadn’t shifted gears or made any further efforts to leave.

Nayeon had a beautiful garden – plum blossoms that were in abundance near the edge of the road; yellow forsythia that was vibrant even at night – it ran along the length of Nayeon’s property and framed it nicely; the red-orange poppies that the winter would’ve taken away and – as Nayeon’s outside lights suddenly beamed after being turned on – Momo spotted the garden right under a window, that grew an assortment of different colored orchids. Momo looked up and saw Nayeon with her hands folded over her chest but she couldn’t see what expression the woman wore.

“Momo, drive!” Sana snapped suddenly and Momo jump started and switched gears immediately.

She didn’t know what to make of it. Sana hadn’t said anything more of it during the drive to her house and it seemed like she was in deep thought while her girlfriend slept on her shoulder. There were so many things that she wanted to ask and every time they came to a traffic light, Momo would open her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

The next time any of them spoke was when they reached Sana’s house and she got out after saying goodnight and thanking Momo. Her girlfriend thanked her as well, if not a little sleepily, and Momo nodded at them and returned the pleasantries. She watched Sana and her girlfriend walk up the stone path that led to Sana’s classically styled house, watched Sana fumble about in her purse for her keys and then wave back at Momo once she had gotten the door opened. Momo waited until both women had entered and closed the door before she drove off. She supposed Sana’s big house wasn’t as empty anymore. 

She tried to stop thinking about it as she laid her head on her pillow that night.

That night Momo dreamt of a woman with a blue ribbon in her hair.

The next day, Momo walked into the vet clinic around lunchtime like she usually did – Ms. Park smiled at her and gave her the usual short talk that Momo had come to expect and even like. The waiting room was filled with animals and they ranged from dogs to iguanas... Momo quickly walked to the back with the kennels when the latter cast a large eye on her.

She hadn’t expected to find Nayeon sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and a fluffy dog in her hands that she was feeding.

The brunette looked up immediately at the new presence in front of her and gave Momo a smile. It relaxed her to see Nayeon seemingly in good spirits.

“Momo.”

The Japanese nodded back.

“Vet Im.”

Nayeon smiled a little more and then went back to helping the dog eat.

Momo walked closer and looked to the side where D.M laid in her cage, bored. She put her finger through the square and scratched the dog’s head with the tip of her nail. There was a gentle lick on her finger but not much else – that probably meant a lot more than a tail wag though.

She looked down by her feet where Nayeon sat with the dog in her arms. It was dirtying up her scrubs with how messily it ate but Nayeon didn’t seem to notice or mind.

“You okay?” Momo decided on that as a decent enough question. Her eyes scanned every part of Nayeon, she knew what she was looking for but she also never admitted it to herself fully.

The vet seemed amused as she looked up at Momo with a knowing look.

“I’m good.” Her eyes and smile led Momo to believe she knew exactly why the question had been asked. “It’s not what you think.”

Momo had a hard time believing that.

“Really?” Her tone was dubious but Nayeon just paid attention her to her patient. “What’s his deal?”

Nayeon kept silent until she realized Momo was referring to the dog.

“Oh, this is Keu, he’s on medicine that takes his appetite away.” She put more soft looking food near the dog’s nose until he sniffed at it and then ate it. “I think he also got a little too used to being pampered like this. So I have that to look forward to once he’s off the meds and still expecting to be handfed.”

Momo laughed and she found herself sinking down to the floor beside Nayeon. Their shoulders were touching and Momo remembered the night they spent eating street food on a bench. That had been her favorite night for the year – for the last five years maybe.

Keu panted and sniffed her with his wet nose and Momo made a face as she recoiled from the touch.

“He likes you.” Nayeon had laughed.

“You think every dog likes me.”

“You’re likable.” She said simply.

Momo frowned and the other woman laughed again when she caught it.

“I think you like criticisms more than compliments.”

That made Momo smile.

“Criticism is easier to respond to.”

“I can’t find any to give you.” Nayeon paused as Keu licked all the excess food from her fingers. “You should take the compliments instead. For now, from me.”

Momo didn’t reply and it made Nayeon turn her head to look at her. A couple stray strands of her brown hair had escaped her ponytail and framed her face. Momo wanted to take another picture.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Nayeon raised her eyebrows and looked amused again.

“Whenever you ask me that, it’s usually a question I don’t have the right answer to.”

“Indulge me.” Momo insisted.

Nayeon smiled a little and nodded.

Momo had the question ready to fire since Nayeon had gotten out of her car.

“Does he hurt you?”

She got cut off by a short and sudden laugh. Momo frowned.

“It’s nothing like that. I told you it’s not what you think.”

Brown eyes turned to hers and they tried to convey something Momo couldn’t entirely understand. Nayeon’s smile became gentler.

“He doesn’t hit me or anything like that. Geun isn’t an abusive man, never has been.”

Momo wanted to argue against that because of how he spoke to Nayeon, how he was so dismissive towards her wants.

Nayeon obviously sensed that Momo didn’t believe her because she rolled her eyes and stood up with the dog.

“The marriage is complicated, okay? But – not everyone can choose, right?” She didn’t look at Momo as she placed Keu back into his cage and latched it tightly. “Sometimes you know you have to do something, but you don’t do it; so then you run out of time. But that’s not Geun’s fault.”

Momo blinked as the woman rushed her words out. She didn’t understand a thing of what Nayeon was trying to say. All she could understand was the way Nayeon always seemed to distance herself from her husband - _'the marriage','the wedding'._

At the silence, the vet looked at Momo and let out a tired breath. She suddenly looked deflated. Her hands rested on her waist and she shook her head.

“Geun isn’t a bad guy. Sana’s biased and you’re just going off of what you’ve seen or overheard – or maybe both.” She sighed again. “But he’s not a bad guy.”

Momo nodded her head. Nayeon looked smaller in that moment and it wasn’t because she wasn’t wearing her usual heels.

The Japanese stood up and walked towards her. Nayeon didn’t fight her as she pulled the older girl in and let her cling to her. Momo smelt her fruity shampoo and felt the woman’s grip on her tighten around her waist. She wasn’t used to hugs – especially not ones longer than three seconds, but she would do this for Nayeon.

A throat was cleared and then the brunette spoke with her voice muffled slightly by Momo’s hoodie.

“I found a criticism.” She announced. “You’re a stiff hugger.”

“I didn’t have to hug you at all, you know.” Momo couldn’t be upset when she heard the happiness in Nayeon’s voice.

“I could get more comfort from a cactus.” Nayeon laughed and it didn’t take much for her to join in. “But I think I prefer this.”

The words touched her heart in a way she hadn’t expected them to. She hugged a little tighter and nestled her cheek against the side of Nayeon’s head, feeling her soft hair and smelling the calming scent.

That night Momo dreamt of warm arms and an odd scene; she had been on a picnic with a woman who wore a beautiful sundress. They ate oranges and other tangy fruits and Momo could remember the way the woman laughed with her and brushed her fingers over her arm. It was serene – it was more serene than the ducks and flowers she usually dreamt of.

x.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being here! I'm very happy all the padding for this is over now tbh.  
> hope you're all doing well


	6. Chapter 6

That day had started out normal as ever - well, as normal as the last month had offered itself to be. Spring was coming to an end and it brought warmer nights than Momo expected or was used to.

Geun was out of town again – this time for two weeks. Naturally Sana had taken full advantage of that and she dragged Nayeon to every bar and club within an hour’s drive. Momo gave in the second time Sana called to invite her – Nayeon had been in the background urging her to join them. So Momo went with them on the pretence that it would just be that once.

Once turned into two other times, then three, four... till suddenly Momo went every time Sana called and announced they were going out. She wasn’t a fan of dark and loud places that seemed to always smell of sweat no matter what corner of the room she would wander away to; but there was something about the feeling she got from being around the two other women that she liked much better than being at home alone. Even if home was peaceful – a loud club with Nayeon and Sana dancing wildly around her had some sort of peace in it as well.

Momo’s only rule was to never leave her alone; clubs weren’t familiar territory and she wasn’t naive about how a night there could end up if she was somehow cornered unexpectedly. Both Sana and Nayeon promised her that they wouldn’t leave her sight and they were true to their word.

That night Momo had picked Sana up as usual, but when the blonde opened the door the older girl had been tugged inside her house. Sana led her up the nice staircase and sternly said that Momo needed to leave the tight blue jeans and blouse behind – and soon after, Momo found herself in a silver dress that exposed the top of her chest and hugged her waist so snugly, nothing could be left to the imagination regarding her figure. Sana had topped the look off by pulling Momo’s dark hair into a sleek ponytail, placing silver hoop earrings in her ears and then putting her in heels that were just as dazzling as the dress. She thought it was a bit too much.

However, Sana seemed quite proud of her work when they walked on the street to the club after parking and Momo garnered attention from both sexes that caught sight of her. She would’ve felt more uncomfortable if Sana wasn’t dressed just as _‘scandalously’_.

Sana wore a short skirt that looked like it was made out of leather, it was green and tight and Momo knew that if it was on anyone else it would’ve been ugly; her white top threatened to expose her stomach with every movement of her arms – but Momo got the impression that the younger girl knew that all too well; Sana’s boots stopped at her knees but the stares she got went much higher.

By the time they had entered the club, this one being just as dark and noisy as all the others, they began their search for Nayeon who always arrived before them. She usually waited at the bar with her regular drink of vodka and cranberry. She never drank anything too strong because she knew Momo wouldn’t either.

“There she is.” Sana pointed and Momo’s eyes fell on the brunette’s back. Nayeon had become very easy for her to spot, even in the darkness of the club; her long hair that fell over the back of the bar stool, the familiar way she sat with one leg lapped elegantly over the other and her hand lazily stirring a drink.

The woman smiled widely when she laid eyes on them. Her dress for the night was red again and Momo enjoyed the way it squeezed her thighs in protest as she uncrossed her legs and stood to give Sana a hug. She watched the interaction with a slight smile. Something about seeing Sana and Nayeon together reminded her of how much she had missed out on by withdrawing herself from others.

She would describe it as a form of hiraeth, but again she never had it to begin with.

Nayeon’s brown eyes met hers over Sana’s shoulder and she saw them trail down slowly. The club hardly offered any significant light at all, but that didn’t stop her from taking her time as if she could see every detail on Momo’s body.

“Is that your dress, Sana?”

The blonde laughed and nodded as she pulled away. This constantly happy Sana was someone Momo had to get accustomed to after knowing the strict-micromanaging-boss-Sana for three years. She seemed to relax and become a teen again whenever Nayeon was around her. Momo could understand it. There was just something about the older girl that was easy to latch onto.

“I did well, didn’t I?” She asked, already turning to the bar for drinks. Sana never seemed to mind that she was the only one who ever got tipsy on their little nights out – although sometimes her girlfriend would join them and accompany her in making an ass out of herself in public.

Nayeon’s eyes flicked back up to meet Momo’s. A slow smile spread on her face.

“Very. She looks beautiful.”

The tight knit club was definitely the reason for the sudden wave of heat that flushed her cheeks and made her shift uncomfortably. She folded her arms across her chest – the action brought Nayeon’s attention there – she quickly uncrossed her arms. It made Nayeon laugh.

“You okay?” She asked. Her eyes dipped to the strapless dress Momo wore. “In that, I mean.”

She shifted a little again.

“Not my first choice, but it’s fine.”

Nayeon smiled.

“Tell me if you change your mind. I have a jacket in the car that’ll go with it.”

She nodded appreciatively.

“I’ll be fine as long as you two stay close enough.”

She moved unconsciously into Nayeon’s side a second later when a man ogled her freely.

“Still our shy, Momo.” Nayeon said as she sipped from her glass and twirled her dark hair. She seemed to like the ponytail. Momo didn’t bother correcting her. She was _not_ shy but Nayeon’s mental image of her disagreed with the protest whenever Momo stuck her chin up at it. Quiet didn’t mean shy.

Sana looked back at her and smiled as well.

“Maybe that’ll change tonight. She’s dressed for some adult attention and there are plenty women here willing to give it to her.”

Nayeon’s eyebrows rose.

“Women?” 

“Oops!” Sana covered her mouth but her eyes weren’t as apologetic. It looked like she had been waiting for the bit of information to be revealed and found the perfect opportunity to do so.

Momo raised her own eyebrow in response to the surprise in Nayeon’s voice.

“Exclusively. I’m surprised Sana never told you that before.”

The blonde in question placed a hand over her chest.

“You think too lowly of me.” She turned to pick her newly arrived drink up. The liquid was clear and Momo wondered what it was – she wasn’t that experienced with alcohol but she knew Sana disliked any of the fruity cocktails.

Nayeon’s lips moved and her eyes were on her. Momo asked her to repeat since she hadn’t caught whatever she said over the loud music. The woman smiled and leaned forward, her firm fingers wrapped around Momo’s arm and she talked by her ear. “You only have sex with women?” The warmth that came from Nayeon’s body soon surrounded Momo and she smelt the sweet perfume the woman wore.

Momo pulled back a little. Nayeon released her grip and returned to stirring her drink.

“Theoretically, yes I would.”

Nayeon tilted her head. The red, green and blue lights from the club shone faintly on her face every now and then and gave Momo something completely new to admire each time.

“Theoretically?” She questioned. Momo waited with a baited look as she saw the cogs in her head turn. “My god.”

“If he exists.”

Nayeon shook her head and it was almost comical how stunned she looked.

“You’re a virgin?”

That caught Sana’s attention quickly.

“She’s a what?” The youngest of them asked, clearly baffled and almost choking on her drink. Momo looked at the pair uninterestedly – what was so shocking about that?

“You’re older than me!” Sana exclaimed. “There’s no way... what about the girl you dated a couple months ago? You were with her three weeks, you can’t tell me you didn’t sleep with her. She was practically all over you when I met her.”

Momo almost found amusement in how wide Sana’s big brown eyes were.

“What does my age have to do with anything?” She leaned her arms on the bar’s counter and was then between the two best friends who looked at her in disbelief. “Pick your jaws up.”

Sana shook her head.

“You really never had sex with her? With anyone?”

“That’s usually what virgin means, isn’t it?”

“It’s not even a religious thing because you’re so adamantly _not_ religious,” the woman continued, “which means this is actually by choice and that’s honestly scarier.”

Momo scoffed.

“I don’t think there’s anything scarier than waiting on permission from an imaginary entity so you can do what you want with your own body.”

“He’s not imaginary to everyone.” Sana pointed out as she twirled the neon yellow straw in her glass.

When Momo looked to the side for Nayeon’s reaction, the woman’s eyes were already locked onto hers. She couldn’t figure out what exactly Nayeon was thinking by the way she looked at her – it made Momo’s lip twitch.

“What? No quips from you as well?”

Nayeon smiled and shook her head as she sipped at her drink again.

“I envy you, I told you that already.”

Momo’s eyes were focused on her mouth as she spoke; since the music was loud she relied on her ability to read the woman’s lips. At least she told herself that was why she stared at them so intently. She watched them curve into more of a taunting smile.

“Let’s dance, Sana.”

The pair downed the last of their drinks and Momo took Nayeon’s seat at the bar as they left. This was also a part of their routine – they would dance and Momo would stay back and watch the crowd. She rather do that than join the mass of sweaty bodies.

It was nice to see them dance – Sana would put her arms around Nayeon’s neck and the latter’s own hands would go around Sana’s waist. They would laugh into each other’s ears and when the songs changed tempo, depending on what it had changed to, the girls would either pull each other closer or start to jump in place wildly and pump their fists embarrassingly. Momo would laugh as she watched them.

This night however, Momo’s eyes never left Nayeon.

The older girl moved with a fluidity and sensual ease that she didn’t need alcohol to help with. Momo’s eyes went over everything Nayeon had on display – the pale neck that was even more exposed when Nayeon tilted her head back and smiled, the modest amount of cleavage (for Nayeon’s standards), the waist that Nayeon jogged every morning for and as Momo’s eyes would go back up slowly – she would see her favourite part.

The smiling lips and knowing eyes that awaited her. 

She never had close friends before, but Momo figured appreciating a woman’s beauty could never be wrong.

It wasn’t new to her when someone slid into the chair beside her and started to talk to her. She pretended the music was too loud to hear them, she always did. They would go away with a sneer soon enough.

A drink was placed down next to her; an offering. Momo side-eyed it but said nothing.

“Your attention is very hard to get.”

She was shocked to hear a woman’s voice this time. The only people that hit on her in these clubs were men; the women were too coy to ever approach her upfront. The most she got was the bartender pushing a colourful drink towards her and telling her it was from a girl at the far end of the bar. Momo never acknowledged them.

Her type was specific – painfully so. She liked bold women, always had. Women that took charge and weren’t afraid to say what they wanted. Beautiful women that could approach her and make her think about leaving with them... even though she knew she never would. Maybe that was also why she found Nayeon’s assumptions about her so comical – there was nothing shy about Hirai Momo. She hid a smile when the brunette locked eyes with her again.

Momo turned her head slightly; the woman beside her _was_ beautiful – had shoulder length red hair that fell straight and a face that a lot of people probably stared at in admiration. She even wore a red top and skin tight jeans that caught her attention for a few seconds. Momo liked red.

“There it is.” The woman smirked. “Hey.”

Momo didn’t know if she liked that smirk or not. The woman nodded to the drink offering again.

“I don’t drink.” 

The redhead smiled anyway.

“You’ll like it if you try it.” She pushed the glass even closer to her and her fingertips came dangerously close to brushing against Momo’s pale arm that rested on the bar’s counter. “I paid for it, the least you could do is try it.”

Momo raised her eyebrow at the dark blue nails that tapped against the side of the glass impatiently.

“If you’re so worried about wasting your money you should drink it yourself.”

That gained her a laugh.

“I bought it for you. So, you’ll drink it. I’ll wait here until you do.”

Momo looked away as all her former (minute) interest in the woman vanished. Taking charge and being a persistent ass were two very separate things. The redhead remained silent and Momo was glad for it. Her act of pretending the music was too loud seemed to work in the past, but this woman was relentless. She didn’t even budge at the cold shoulder from Momo.

“Really? You don’t even want to know my name?”

“What would I do with that?”

She laughed again and Momo became annoyed all at once.

“Scream it.”

“In fear, maybe.”

Another annoying laugh. As if it was all a joke and Momo was just playing hard to get; she wondered if the redhead was a little inebriated already.

She made eye contact with Nayeon and Sana simultaneously when she turned again. The blonde smiled at her encouragingly while Nayeon just tilted her head in what seemed to be curiosity. Like she was waiting on Momo’s next move.

Sana spoke near Nayeon’s ear and she watched the brunette frown slightly. Sana laughed at the response and then she dragged Nayeon deeper into the crowd of half-drunk dancers until they were completely swallowed by bodies and out of Momo’s sight. Momo tensed. They usually never left her when they danced. It was similar to how children might swim in the sea while their parents would keep a watchful eye – except Momo would be the child on the sand watching and Sana and Nayeon were the people in control of keeping her ‘safe’.

“You’re funny.” The woman said.

“I wish I was joking throughout any of this.”

“That’s what makes it funny.” She sounded like she was grinning. Momo shifted away from her. She rather move than stick around and be pestered by a stranger.

She got up from the barstool and saw the woman look up at her with a smile.

“Running already?”

“As far as possible actually.”

Momo was happy when she wasn’t followed onto the dance floor – if it could be called that. The body heat from everyone around her made her want to go back by the bar immediately, until she remembered exactly why she had left the comfortable area. She couldn’t see Nayeon or Sana anywhere and she felt a little upset that they had just disappeared on her. She turned left and right in the dark mess of people and frowned when she came up empty while the bass of the horribly loud music thumped in her ears.

They had left her to fend for herself.

People grabbed at her as she walked by, all of them were men that wanted her to dance with them. They placed their hands on her hips and one even tried to pull her back towards him. She slapped the hands away and walked a little quicker – why did she agree to the skimpy dress? It was drawing the wrong attention and she didn’t have enough club experience to know how to avoid those things. She didn’t know how to react to the hands that touched her thighs or the curve of her ass _‘accidentally’_.

Momo crossed her arms over herself and finally reached the back of the club. It was darker; a spot the colourful lights never reached. Momo felt secure there, hidden. She would just wait there until one of the girls entered her field of vision.

She felt partially ridiculous – she was twenty-four. If anyone saw her hiding away in the corner of a club they would laugh at her, wouldn’t they? _Afraid of grimy men and running from a woman that showed interest in me..._ yeah, even she thought she was ridiculous.

Her head landed on the wall and she leaned against it. Her eyes were still searching for any hint of the two best friends but neither one appeared.

She tensed when someone else ambled their way towards her – then cursed under her breath when she looked to the left and saw the faded sign indicating she was right next to the men’s bathroom.

He hadn’t noticed her at first, far too busy walking in zigzags and muttering to himself. Momo hoped he never looked up.

But of course, the world was against her that night.

His light hair flopped to one side and his eyes moved from their initial destination to where she stood. Arms folded and leaned against the wall by the bathrooms. Momo knew it looked like she was propositioning.

A smile stretched across his face and Momo took a step to the side when he stood beside her. His arm stretched out to the wall and stayed there while he roamed her body with his eyes. Maybe if it was broad daylight and Momo wasn’t already so uncomfortable from being there alone, she would’ve snapped out of it and at least tried to walk away.

She was frozen in the fear of the moment however, and all too soon she took in how dark of an area they were in, how loud the music was and how much alcohol she could smell on his breath as he began to speak.

“Well, hello there.”

Momo pursed her lips and hugged her arms a little tighter around herself.

“What? You can’t talk to me?” He laughed and stepped closer. Momo took a step back, the music might’ve been loud but to her, her own heartbeat was deafening.

He seemed to take Momo’s actions as a challenge and stepped closer again.

“What’s your name?”

What had Sana told her to say if she was ever approached by a greasy guy again?

“Not interested.” She said it softly and looked away. Her view of the crowd was soon blocked by the man who leered at her chest openly for a few seconds. It felt much different when Nayeon did it.

“At least hear me out. I just wanted to keep your company.”

Momo doubted he wanted anything as innocent as that.

“Everything okay here?”

The third voice brought both their attentions to the side. The redhead from the bar stood with a glass in her hand and her side leaned up against the wall as well. Momo wondered if she had indeed followed after her or if it was all a coincidence. She doubted the latter but couldn’t bring herself to find the woman annoying anymore when she had such great timing.

There was a specific feeling that you felt when you knew you were going to get out of a particularly sticky situation – your heart would calm itself and the panic would ease into something else like relief. Momo breathed out and walked backwards until she was near the redhead.

“This is between me and the pretty lady here. But I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to join.”

Momo made a face.

“There’s nothing to join.” She seemed to have finally found her voice and she knew it was because she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Get lost. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself, especially not with how big that bouncer by the door is.” She nodded her head towards the general direction of the door. Why hadn’t she thought of that? Surely she could’ve outrun a drunken man and made it to the door... hell made it _anywhere_ far enough away for him. “Right?”

He scoffed and shook his head.

 _"Nyeon-”_ The curse started but whatever else he was about to say never left his mouth.

“Momo?”

All three heads turned to the new pair of women that stood looking confused.

“Even greater timing.” It was muttered dryly but the Japanese felt her heart slow down again.

“Is there a problem here?” Sana asked. She didn’t look the least bit scared and even stepped towards the man a little as she asked the question.

He laughed.

“That one already threatened me, so save your breath.” He walked off with an especially vicious look to the redhead in question, muttering profanities under his breath as he staggered away and completely forgetting that he needed to use the bathroom initially.

Nayeon’s fingers wrapped around Momo’s arm and she tugged the younger one towards her gently. 

“Are you okay? What was that about?”

Momo pulled her arm away and stepped back. None of this would’ve happened if the two didn’t leave her in the first place. How hard was it to just stay within her line of sight? Especially when it was all she asked for. She was practically Sana’s designated driver every single time she accompanied them to the shady bars and nightclubs – what was so hard about just sticking around for her?

The relief turned into anger quickly.

“I’m fine.” She said curly but turned to the redhead and gave her a softer tone. “Thank you by the way.”

She received a smile.

“You could thank me by drinking whatever I order you next.”

“Momo doesn’t drink.” Nayeon spoke. Her eyes flicked between the two until she focused on Momo entirely. “What happened? We were looking all over for you.”

She tried not to scoff – looking for her? For all their constant talk about how shy and reserved she was it sure slipped their minds quickly when it was time for them to wander off.

Her face remained neutral and kept her arms folded.

“You didn’t drink anything much tonight, right?” She addressed Nayeon directly.

Nayeon raised her eyebrows.

“...Right?” 

“Then you can go. Take Sana home, too.” She turned to her savior for the night. “What was your name again?”

The woman laughed and sipped on her drink.

“Jai. Nice to meet you.” She reached into her pocket and a pen was suddenly marking Momo’s skin. “Call me and maybe I can buy you a drink some other time... or just plain water since your girlfriend made it so clear you prefer that.”

"That's not what I said, asshole."

Sana shushed her friend and Momo was just confused about why she corrected that part of the sentence and not the more obvious error - especially with the ring on her left hand. 

She needed to get out of that club.

Momo ignored the two women that called after her as she walked off.

“Momo.”

Spring should’ve ended better, Momo thought so at least. It was so pretty that night. The trees planted by the sidewalk had so many white and pink flowers that blew gently and they made a calming sound – it was a stark difference to the loud beat of the club’s music she could somehow still hear in her head. It was at least eleven in the night but there were still some shops across the street that were open – _innocent_ shops that sold things for tourists and the like.

She felt a little too exposed when she walked past an older couple that stared at her legs. _God..._ maybe she wasn’t shy but embarrassed was something completely different.

“Momo.” Sana tried again.

The Japanese just needed to round the corner and then she would be fine. The leaves beneath her shoes crunched and some got stuck in the sharp heels but she didn’t want to watch where she was walking. She just wanted to get into her car and out of the view of all the people staring at her body. She felt the eyes all over her.

“Momo...” Nayeon spoke that time.

She frowned at the sudden warmth she felt over her shoulders. A large jacket covered her and Nayeon took her halt in movement as an opportunity to stand in front of her and button it up. She did it silently and with a small frown on her face.

Sana stood beside them.

“We’re sorry.” She repeated. “Nayeon saw you talking to that girl and I said you looked uncomfortable – as a joke at first but Nayeon didn’t take it that way. We thought it was the dress so we went to get that.” She pointed at the jacket.

Momo shook her head and stepped back from Nayeon. The woman’s hands fell limply to her sides.

“No, why didn’t you just come get me? You two always come get me.” She scowled. “You wanted to see what I would do, is that it? You wanted to see if the shy virgin would sleep with someone she met at a dingy club?”

Sana looked offended and her apologetic eyes quickly burned darker with anger.

“What? Seriously, Momo, is that what you think of us? That we would just throw you to the wolves?”

She shrugged.

“You said Nayeon used to convince you to do things when you guys were younger. Is it really a stretch for me to believe that you two ran off to see if I would have sex with a stranger?”

“So now this is my fault?” Nayeon asked. She didn’t sound angry like Sana. “I’m sorry. I know it was a stupid decision but I didn’t think first. My only thought was that I had the jacket in my car and I didn’t park far. I thought I could go and get it and be back in no time.”

“Well you weren’t.”

“You’re not being fair, Momo.” Sana interjected to defend her friend. “I didn’t want her to walk alone in the night dressed like that and she didn’t want that for me either. We didn’t have bad intentions.”

It made sense. It all made sense. Which made her even more upset – it upset her to think that _she_ was the irrational one. She was the one so used to nights spent at home that she couldn’t handle herself around _one_ man.

Nayeon’s fingers tilted her chin up. She didn’t shrug her hand off. From the moment Nayeon had appeared back in the club, she wanted to cross the distance until she was by her side and safely tucked under her arm.

The brunette was still frowning as she looked at Momo.

“I’m sorry.”

“We both are.” Sana said.

Momo felt her resolve die down with every second that Nayeon kept her eyes on her.

“Good?” She asked.

With a heavy sigh and a side glance to Sana who stood looking anxious, she nodded her head.

“Yeah.” Nayeon’s frown ebbed away slightly. “But I’m still going straight home. I’ll see you two later.”

“Momo...” The frown was back in full force.

“I’m fine. I’m just really ready to go home.”

Sana touched a hand to Nayeon’s arm gently to pull her away. She smiled at the photographer and nodded.

“Rest up and get there safely. We have an early day tomorrow, remember?”

Momo nodded.

“Meeting with the future Kims. Two P.M, right?”

Sana rolled her eyes but there was humor there.

“Ten A.M and nothing later. Goodnight, Momoring.”

“Goodnight.” she looked at Nayeon who stood as if she was involuntarily being held back. “To both of you.”

She waited until Nayeon said anything at all in response. The woman looked as though she were in turmoil over her next move. Sana gave her a not so discreet shove.

“Night.” She finally said.

By the time Momo closed the door to her apartment and was safely back in the confines of her home – she had already started to regret some of the things she said; which was unlike her, Momo was usually very headstrong and certain about being mostly right and almost never wrong.

Her anger had subsided and it left her biting her lip and wishing she had handled her own fears better. Sana didn’t hold her words against her, she could tell. But it didn’t seem like Nayeon brushed them off as easily – she looked genuinely hurt by the bitten words and Momo hated that she resorted to them. It was so... _unlike_ her to suggest something like that in the first place. Fear got the best of her.

She took the heels off as she stepped further inside. She would need to leave them by the door so she didn’t forget to put them in her car and return them to Sana – she looked down at the dress under the jacket, she would need to wash it as well.

The jacket did go well with the dress, Nayeon was right about that. It was warm and just the right size to not be considered too big. She shook her head and took it off. It landed on her couch without a second glance.

Her fingers were cold as they touched the warm skin on her back (only warm because of the jacket) and she pulled the zip down. The dress was scooped up from the ground and placed over her arm as she took the earrings out as well. The sight of her own reflection in the mirror in her hallway made her pause. Her pale skin looked paler than normal and her eyebrows were furrowed deeply but she knew it wasn’t because of the scary events that took place in the club – her eyes moved to the side in the mirror and found the jacket that was in the background, limply lying on her couch. An image of careful and shaky fingers buttoning up that same jacket entered her head.

Nayeon.

Momo visibly saw her frown go even deeper from just the thought of her. She bit her bottom lip a little too harshly while she remembered the woman’s saddened eyes on the street.

Did she really suggest that Nayeon left her to her own devices as some sort of strategy? That the woman, who had only ever smiled at her, was really capable of something like that.

Momo’s face was soon covered by her hands as she felt the embarrassment and shame flood through her body.

She pulled her hands away and was welcomed by the reflection of her now red face – which she promptly turned away from. Her necklace was removed and her hair was pulled from the tight ponytail. She tossed the elastic aside as she raked her fingers through her hair and massaged her scalp slightly. A large white t-shirt with blue text was thrown over body a minute later and she pulled socks on to keep her toes warm on the cold tiles in her apartment.

Why couldn’t Nayeon just do literally anything else? She could’ve came and gotten Momo – saved her from the redhead who had turned out to save her _instead_ in the end – it was all a mess. She didn’t care about the stupid jacket! The jacket wouldn’t have made her feel as safe as Nayeon herself.

The night was apparently not finished with surprising her since she heard the quick wrap of someone knocking on her door. Momo frowned. Few people knew where she lived – that list was limited to past girlfriends that only saw the inside of her apartment once or twice briefly. Her mother didn’t even make the trip to her.

She pulled shorts on and ran a hand through her hair again as she hurried to the door. She looked through the peephole – raised an eyebrow and felt her heart quicken at the sight of brown hair.

The knocks came again and Momo saw the worried look on the woman’s face.

“Momo? Please open the door.” Nayeon paused her knocking. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

She came face to face with the vet after she pulled her door open. Nayeon looked too shocked for someone who had been knocking for her to do just that.

Momo felt the cold air from outside and moved aside to usher the woman in.

After she closed the door and turned around, she found Nayeon with her hands behind her back and her eyebrows raised.

“What?”

The older one shook her head.

“Nothing. I don’t think I expected you to let me in.”

“That’s usually what happens after you knock on someone’s door, Nayeon.”

She nodded.

“If that someone wasn’t mad at you, yes, maybe.”

Momo felt her lips twitch and a smile threatened to take over. It was Nayeon’s fault really; if she wasn’t so damn likable Momo would’ve been able to stay mad at her.

“I’m not mad.”

Nayeon looked appropriately surprised.

“God, you missed a career in acting in that case.”

Momo folded her arms across her chest. It was bizarre how Nayeon seemed perfectly at home in her apartment and she suddenly felt like she was the one out of place. The brunette stood in the center of the room in the same red dress that had mesmerized Momo and left her without words in the club. There was nothing right about the way Nayeon's body grabbed all her attention and those brown eyes alone made her ask herself questions she didn't know the answers to. Questions she dare not linger on.

She wished she could be like Nayeon. She wished she could compliment the way the pout of her red lips stood out; or maybe the way the hands behind her back mixed with shining eyes that _knew_ everything gave such a contrast to each other - the stance made her seem so innocent until Momo looked into her eyes and saw that look there. 

Nayeon must have read her mind because she softened her eyes again and the remorse shone through. Her need to make light of the situation alleviated.

“I’m sorry for tonight.”

The Japanese nodded her head – then promptly shook it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that stuff to you.”

A smile tempted Nayeon’s lips.

“You mean when you suggested that I was trying to make you some sort of virginal sacrifice?” She laughed when Momo covered her face in embarrassment. Something else that was unlike her. “It’s okay. I know you only said it because you were upset.” Momo heard her move closer. Nayeon’s perfume embraced her and soon enough, her arms did as well. Momo felt herself tense in the hold. Nayeon spoke by her ear. “Good? Answer me truthfully this time.”

She breathed out and put her own arms around the woman’s waist. Nayeon’s fruity scent had changed to something even lighter and Momo figured she switched perfumes for the night. She didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed before – maybe because they were both such pleasant smells. Nayeon’s fingers were in her hair, she ran them through it gently and Momo didn’t know how to feel at the abundance of contact. It wasn’t something she was used to.

“Momo?” Nayeon probed.

“I’m okay.”

The brunette nodded and her hair tickled the side of Momo’s face. She was about to pull away but something made Momo tighten the hold. Nayeon seemed surprised from the small noise she let out.

She wrapped her arms around Momo again slowly.

“I thought I was making you uncomfortable.” She said softly.

Momo shook her head. She didn’t know how she felt about the hug, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t anything negative.

“Okay.” Nayeon said simply and kept her fingers in her hair. It was silent for a while until she broke it again. “Anyone else would give up on this hug with how tense your body is.” She laughed.

Momo frowned.

“I actually thought I had relaxed into it.”

That just made Nayeon laugh even more. Then it dulled.

“Should I ask why you're so bad at hugs?”

From anyone else the question would’ve irritated her and she might've pulled away. Nayeon's voice was warm, her fingers were soft and her embrace was... comforting; even if Momo had been so adamant about not needing comfort from anyone.

She knew the reason – it wasn’t anything complex. After Seunjin died and she withdrew from her mother, her mother had followed suit. The physical contact between them was very limited but never extended itself to hugs. Since she never had close relationships with others – temporary girlfriends included – physical contact altogether was something that made her tense up.

“I stopped getting them.” She said simply. “Sorry I’m out of practice.”

Nayeon was quiet for a while.

“We’re standing by your door just hugging.” She pointed out.

Momo smiled. 

“Is that weird?”

She laughed again. Momo felt the movement and smiled wider.

“Not if it’s for practice.”

When she finally pulled away from the hug her eyes went to Momo’s arm where the pen ink from Jai was.

She raised her eyebrow.

“Are you going to call her?”

“Probably not.”

It didn’t escape her how Nayeon seemed to look relieved by that.

x.


	7. Chapter 7

Momo shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

Her mother gave her an odd look as she sipped from a flower patterned tea cup.

“Is that really such an odd question for me to ask you?” She chuckled a little but Momo just became even more unsettled. “Really, Momo, you act like I’m asking you to do something horrible.”

“It isn’t – why didn’t you ask me before you did any of this? You should have checked in with me.”

After a whole day of having to listen to a disgruntled bride go on and on about how she wanted _more flattering pictures! I’m not paying you to take all my ugly sides!_ , Momo was understandably too tired to even raise her voice at her mother. Although it was unlikely she ever would in the first place.

Thin eyebrows furrowed at her and her mother shrugged her shoulders.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal. You always say you’re looking for a man-”

“No, I say I don’t have a boyfriend.” Momo interjected in as smooth a tone she could.

Her mother ran her palms over her skirt and simply shrugged again.

“Same thing isn’t it. Haruki is a good man, I knew him as a boy.” She sipped from her tea again, completely unaware of her daughter’s very poorly concealed glare. “You’ll thank me later.”

Momo sometimes got the feeling that her mother was very keen on the fact that she was anything but straight. There was something in the way she would ask certain questions and hold her breath until Momo answered them – as if she was afraid of her daughter ever telling her the truth.

The couch’s cushion seemed to sink even further under the added weight on her shoulders but Momo was taught better than to express her negative emotions. She held back her sigh and picked her own tea cup up.

She looked across at her mother as the woman sat with her hands in her lap and a faint smile on her face as she gazed down at the ring on her left hand. It seemed past memories were the only thing that could make the woman happy – Momo would do this for her. What daughter wouldn’t?

“.. _.Hai_.”

Her mother smiled.

She walked that day so she could take her time in getting home. The weather was nice enough despite it being the end of May and despite the fact that summer would come around and wash away all of her hopes of actually ignoring that it was almost there again – summers in Korea were known for having the most rain of all their seasons and until July, Momo would be burdened by walking with an umbrella every time she left her car. Since she was naturally a forgetful person, early summertime was when she received most of her colds for the year.

She thought back to her mother’s unwanted meddling – why did she do that? Momo knew Haruki; his mother would come over for tea and he would be the shy little boy with the neatly combed black hair pushed into his eyes that would hide behind her legs. He would gape at Momo whenever she offered him a biscuit – how old was he then? At least three years older than her. Which would make him twenty-seven now... Momo sighed. She wanted to dislike him but it wasn’t his fault. They just had two very pushy mothers.

Momo shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she walked with heavy steps; the streets were scarce and the sun hung lowly, threatening to disappear earlier than usual.

A car horn beeped but it wasn’t until the second long _beeeep_ that Momo turned her head. There was a dark blue car that was sleek and not very familiar that had pulled onto the side of the road. It caught the attention of one or two people but they soon lost interest when they saw the driver wasn’t someone they knew.

Momo watched with a slow smile as a brunette appeared from the opened door and rested her arms on the roof of the car. She had sunglasses on the top of her head and a grin on her face as she looked at Momo.

“Didn’t you hear me beep?” She asked.

“The second time, yes.”

Cars drove around Nayeon’s own in a frustrated way since she had made it hard for them to pass. She didn’t seem to care though.

“Do you have your car with you?” Momo saw the woman raise her eyebrows at her. She tilted her head.

“Yes. It’s in my pocket, of course.”

The woman tucked some brown strands behind her ear and Momo thought it was one of the most beautiful scenes she had ever been able to watch. The sunset behind Nayeon, the orange sky that left a tint on her skin and the clouds that could be seen on her windshield.

“If you’re not too busy being a smartass, can I take you somewhere? It’s my last day.”

There was a small smile on her face and she didn’t need to explain further for Momo to understand.

Geun would be back tomorrow. Late nights with Nayeon and Sana were soon about to come to an end.

Nayeon turned the radio off when Momo entered the car – she probably spent enough time in Momo’s own car to notice that the radio was never on then. It wasn’t hard to pick up on the fact that the Japanese preferred silence.

She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and Momo hid a smile as she looked across at the action. Nayeon wasn’t like her, sure she could endure silence for Momo’s sake, but her natural impulse was to talk or do something that made noise. Usually Momo would indulge her but her mind was too filled with thoughts of her mother – realistically, she knew she couldn’t hide her sexuality from her forever... or could she? No, that was ridiculous. She couldn’t live a lie behind her mother’s back. It didn’t seem right. _(Note: Momo had been doing just that since she moved out of her mother’s house.)_

But Haruki – why had she chosen him? From what Momo could remember he had been such a frail and quiet boy. Momo liked quiet but she didn’t necessarily like quiet partners – not that she was even thinking of Haruki as a possible partner but still, she couldn’t get the image of the small fellow Japanese out of her mind. Maybe that was why her mother chose him – the fact that he was Japanese as well.

She wondered what he was like now. Twenty-seven and still single, he must’ve been his mother’s constant migraine.

“What are you thinking about?” 

Momo checked the time on the radio. Nayeon had lasted exactly four minutes in the near silence of late day traffic.

“I have a date.”

Nayeon looked somewhat surprised but as usual, she latched onto any escapes Momo offered.

She looked at her briefly while the line of cars came to another stop.

“A date?” She repeated. Momo nodded in confirmation. “I see. Who is she?”

“She’s a he and he’s someone I knew as a child.”

If Nayeon looked surprised before, then she had looked almost ready to pull the car over again so she could commit all of her attention to the conversation.

“He? As in a man? You’re going on a date with a man?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a lesbian.”

“I am?” She was toying with Nayeon but she couldn’t help it. She enjoyed the way Nayeon’s face turned a little red. It was hard to make Nayeon blush.

“Well, aren’t you?” The brunette looked uncertain now as she drove with one hand on the wheel and the other on the window. “Is there another name for women that exclusively date women?”

“Is there?”

Nayeon shot her a look before the cars started to move again. She shook her head in exasperation.

“Why are you going on a date with a man?”

Momo looked back towards the road.

“My mother sets them up when it gets near the end of the year. She doesn’t know I’m gay so she thinks I need help in that department.” Momo left out the part of her suspecting her mother did in fact know – there was no need to drag her paranoia into it.

Nayeon looked appropriately confused, her eyebrows were furrowed and Momo saw her bite the inside of her bottom lip – she knew that meant Nayeon had held herself back from saying something that she wasn’t entirely sure she was allowed to.

Instead she settled on a mildly upset expression.

“She shouldn’t be pushing you on dates. And you shouldn’t be going on them just to save face.”

Momo hadn’t expected such a vehemently frustrated response.

“Sorry, I forgot you know what it’s like to be the lesbian your mother never wanted.”

Nayeon rolled her eyes but bit the inside of her lip again. She gave Momo another brief look.

“I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.”

Momo knew that, she believed it.

“I just think that you should be more upfront with your mother, not necessarily about your sexuality if you’re not comfortable yet, but at least the fact that you don’t want to date anyone she offers.” She raised her eyebrows. “What if one of these days she sets you up with a... a murderer or something?”

Momo smiled at that.

“If I get murdered I wouldn’t have to tell her I’m a lesbian.”

Nayeon made a disapproving face.

“Does anyone get used to that dry humor?”

“I haven’t kept anyone in my life long enough to find out - well, I suppose you would be the exception to that now. Are you used to it?”

The woman hummed lightly.

“Even scarier, I think I might like it.”

Momo smiled at the fact that Nayeon clearly more than _liked_ it. There was hardly a moment where Nayeon wasn’t laughing or smiling at her – or with her rather.

“You find too many things scary.”

It was said in reference to one of their first conversations and Momo didn’t expect Nayeon to remember it, but the brunette laughed and shook her head.

“Mark my words, time is fragile – which is another reason to tell your mother to stop setting you up on these dates. What happens when you get a girlfriend and you have to explain that you’re going on a date with a man – _while_ you’re dating her?”

Momo hadn’t thought about that ever becoming a situation she would have to deal with. She hardly had girlfriends long enough anyway.

“I don’t think that would ever be a problem. But I see your point.”

Nayeon nodded as she turned off the street and joined another line of traffic. Momo didn’t really mind the long wait to wherever they were going since she liked Nayeon’s company. She would never say it, but she liked the fact that Nayeon cared enough about her impending future to offer advice. As fine as she was with the stream of cars, the woman beside her seemed to be losing her patience a little.

“I wish they wouldn’t let all the cars out from the side roads. It just keeps everyone else back.” She frowned and drummed her fingers against the wheel again. “What’s his name, by the way?”

“Haruki.”

“Haruki.” Nayeon repeated, as if she was testing the name out on her own tongue. “He’s Japanese?”

“Yes.” 

“Your mother isn’t very subtle with how she wants this to go, is she?”

Momo actually laughed at that. Her mother wasn’t one for subtlety.

“I hardly believe she thinks it’ll end in marriage. She knows I never take her setups seriously but she keeps trying just to reinforce the fact that she _wants_ me to date.” She looked out the window and mimicked the position of Nayeon’s left hand as she put it out the window and felt the wind blow between her fingers. The sun had completely set by then and it was a blue-black sky that was left to stare at. “I don’t know. I don’t want to make her think I’m avoiding dating, there’s only so long I can _not_ bring a man up before she starts to get the idea that I prefer vaginas.”

“She’ll be pleased to know you’ve never actually come into contact with another one.”

She could hear the smile in Nayeon’s voice but chose to keep her eyes on all the red, white and yellow lights from cars going in the opposite direction a lane over. It was almost funny how smooth their drives were compared to the constant stop and go motion of the lane she was actually in. The _whrr_ sounds as each car passed combined with the gentle breeze that blew her hair around her face made her close her eyes.

“Who says I haven’t?” Momo asked eventually.

“Really, Momo, you’re taking my mind on a loop tonight. First you’re not a lesbian and now you’re not a virgin – should I believe anything you say?”

Momo laughed again and she rested her chin on her the back of her palm, eyes still closed but she knew for a fact that Nayeon had that grin on her face that made her eyes look less than innocent.

“I know you weren’t poking fun. It’s not something I’m ashamed of either way.”

“Good.” 

At that Momo held her head up and raised an eyebrow in the driver’s direction.

“Good?”

Nayeon nodded her head and kept her eyes on the long line of cars.

“Yes. Good – why not? You’re lucky that you never felt pressured into losing it... a lot of people couldn’t say the same.”

Momo sensed that there was more to her words but she was done with her abrasive questions. For now.

“Peer pressure never really made sense to me.”

A smile.

“Is that what you were like in school? Too good for everyone that was drinking and ditching classes?”

Truth be told Momo was the one that skipped classes; she would hide out in the bathrooms until certain ones were over so she didn’t have to deal with not understanding the topics. It didn’t help her yearly averages in her report cards but her mother signed them nonetheless.

“I wasn’t the perfect student you’ve imagined in your mind.” Momo said with a sly smile of her own. She pulled her hand in and felt how cold her fingertips were as she rubbed them together. Nayeon glanced down at the action as if any movement from Momo caught her eye.

“What? No neatly tucked shirts in almost knee-length plaid skirts? No long socks, perfectly aligned with each other – no glasses?”

The Japanese wanted to glare at her but she couldn’t bring herself to when she saw the smile on Nayeon’s face. She settled for shaking her head in bemusement.

“No. My skirts were never the right length, I was constantly in trouble for them and my ties were never as tight as they were supposed to be either. They always let me off because Seunjin was my dad.” Momo smiled. “He used to take pictures for the school free of charge – class photos and stuff like that. And if there was an event, he would be there, too.”

Nayeon looked at her and smiled.

“You liked that? Him being at your school so much?”

She shrugged but she knew she did. She wasn’t like most little girls or teenagers that valued every bit of their privacy from their social life they could get. Whenever she saw Seunjin around with his big camera in hands and a smile on his face, she would run towards him unashamedly and accept the hug he gave her in front of all her classmates – it wasn’t like she made important friends anyway.

“I think that’s nice.” Momo looked at her as she spoke. The lights from the car in front of them cast a red glow on Nayeon’s face. “Sweet even.”

Momo smiled. 

When they finally arrived to what Momo had to assume was the intended destination, she was shocked to see that it was a cinema.

She looked at Nayeon warily and only received a boisterous laugh in return as she parked the car and turned it off. Upon realizing that Momo had no intentions of opening the car door and getting out, Nayeon looked at her with a smile.

“Nayeon.” Momo started evenly.

The woman smiled wider.

“Momo?”

“What part of I hate the idea of paying money to watch something I can see for free illegally on my laptop in the comfort of my own home, did you not get?

She received a coy grin.

“Did you say that?” She pulled the keys from the ignition and feigned a look of puzzlement. “Don’t recall that. But we’re here now so we might as well enjoy it.” When Momo still didn’t budge, she softened her eyes and her smile became just that little bit more sincere. “I want to watch a movie with you – I think you’ll like it.”

Momo couldn’t resist Nayeon when she looked at her like _that_. She had the distinct feeling Nayeon knew that too because the older girl was already exiting the car. She rounded it quickly and Momo watched half amused as Nayeon came around to her door and opened it.

A hand was offered that Momo looked at.

Nayeon smiled. 

“Come on, if you don’t like the movie we’ll leave during it. We can even make a scene if you want – I’ll throw my popcorn on the ground in utter outrage at having wasted money on it. Then we’ll storm out in unison.”

Momo finally laughed but she ignored the outstretched hand as she got out.

“You pay for the movie and I’ll pay you back for the meal you bought me by spending way too much money on concession food.”

Nayeon smiled and opened the backseat door. Momo’s eyes drifted down as the woman bent over the seat to get something. She blushed slightly as she looked away and stuffed her hands in her back pockets again... _what are you doing, Momo? Keep your eyes to yourself._

“You okay?” Nayeon asked and Momo looked back to realize she didn’t even hear the door close and the car lock. “Your face is red. Cold?” She stepped forward with a frown and Momo felt hands rub her arms in an attempt to warm her up – but she wasn’t cold to begin with. Her cheeks had been flushed for another reason and if anything, the considerate action just made them redder.

She crossed her arms and stepped away.

“I’m fine; you don’t have to worry so much.”

Nayeon smiled a little and Momo cursed her previous flinch at the woman’s touch. It wasn’t her fault – she was just confused about her own wandering eyes and the way Nayeon was so touchy with her; she had seen Sana and Nayeon interact so many times, but Sana never got as many tender looks or casual touches. Sana got hugs in greeting and slaps while Nayeon laughed loudly at something the blonde said or the occasional shove when they were being playful. It hadn’t escaped Momo that she got the softer actions.

“Here, I brought these.”

A purple oversized jumper was handed to her and she looked down at it with a risen brow.

“You were so sure that you would get your way that you came prepared?”

She took it and shrugged it on. Nayeon smiled at her as she put her own blue one on. It fit her nicely; Momo liked how small she looked in it. The parking lot had tall, towering lamps that shone brightly onto the pair and they refused to let Momo miss the way Nayeon had pulled her hair out from under the jumper; she watched the slightly curled locks fall around her shoulders and dragged her eyes back up to see Nayeon’s own cheeks were a little red as well. She assumed it was from the callout and the woman’s inability to meet her eyes confirmed that suspicion.

Nayeon placed her hands behind her back as she walked towards the large cinema and Momo side-eyed her while they waited to cross the road. There were people queued up outside in three separate lines and she almost groaned at how many faces there were. Nayeon tugged her by the sleeve of her jumper and guided the both of them safely across the road.

Large posters for the recent movies were showcased on the walls and they all looked relatively the same to Momo. The action movies had men posing with guns and some sort of explosion behind them; the romantic ones had the couple backing each other, each with slight smirks on their faces; the horrors had a little more variation in terms of which monster or killer was in the background sinisterly lurking. She wasn’t moved by the selection.

Nayeon tugged her jumper again and they moved towards one of the shorter lines. Momo pushed her hand up a little so that Nayeon’s fingers brushed against hers and smiled when she felt fingers wrap around her own easily without even having to look back. She looked around – there were a lot of people that chatted moderately loudly with each other. Groups of friends, some older and younger ones that gave the impression they were a family and then the couples. Momo made a face at one who was in the line parallel to them with their hands clasped and dreamy looks on their faces. They weren't even talking to each other. _Did love make you a zombie?_

“Don’t worry; we’re not really seeing any of those.” Momo’s relief must’ve shown on her face because Nayeon laughed at her and squeezed her hand. She liked how warm it felt. “Don’t get too excited, this one is bound to have some level of romance you’re not comfortable with. Actually maybe you might like it.” She saw the way the woman smirked in a conniving fashion.

“Nayeon.” Momo hoped her voice sounded like a warning but in all honesty, she found it exciting. Just a little.

“Relax. Remember you don’t believe in peer pressure and we can leave whenever you want to.” With that Nayeon turned with a satisfied smile on her face and Momo was left to stare.

She was tugged forward by the firm hold and shuffled with the rest of people in line.

When Nayeon reached the window, she gave the title and paid. Momo felt a little less uncomfortable that time – maybe she was getting used to it. Or maybe she was content in the fact that she would buy Nayeon whatever she wanted to eat or drink.

“Popcorn? Nachos?” Nayeon asked as she bounced in place. “Let’s get both! And slurpees!”

There were no protests and Momo bought a large popcorn for herself and Nayeon, nachos for Nayeon and two slurpees that were red and blue and tasted strongly of... well, nothing really. Momo didn’t mind it though.

The movie had started less than twenty minutes ago but now that she understood exactly why Nayeon thought she might like it, she wanted to hide her face in her hands or smack the back of the vet’s head.

The woman sat beside her with a self satisfied smile that she tried to hide behind the popcorn pieces that were put into her mouth.

“Nayeon. When did I wrong you in the past?” Momo whispered it, mindful of the less than thirty people that had actually wanted to see the movie. It really should’ve resonated with her just what kind of movie it was when the audience was only women.

They sat towards the very top – they really could’ve sat anywhere they liked with how many seats were available. Nayeon’s smile shone at her a second later and Momo blocked out the stupid monologue of the main character.

“What? I told you that you might like it and that it wasn’t like the other ones.”

“I suppose lesbian is a genre in itself here.” She sunk further down her seat and took a sip from the cold drink.

The more they watched, the more they both became engrossed in the movie and the characters on screen. The plot of it was simple – lesbian meets girl at school, they can’t be together because of society and whatnot and drama and romance ensue.

“She’s so pretty.” Momo had said countless times as she stared at the main character – a woman with the prettiest chestnut brown hair and the cutest eyes Momo had ever seen on such a big screen. Nayeon had giggled every time she said it.

“She is.” She agreed one of the times.

Momo smiled and ate her popcorn. The drink was cold but she felt warm; no one had ever taken her to see a movie like that before and the fact that she knew Nayeon did it specifically for her just made her even happier.

The blushes on her face started when the girls started to talk less with their words and more through kisses. Actually, on second thought – maybe she _didn’t_ like that she was seeing this with Nayeon right next to her.

She knew her face was impossibly red by the time the actual love scene started... _are they really going to show her body without censorship?_ Momo was confused about which she would prefer but the option was taken away as the scene was randomly skipped to the day after the intimate events. Damn it.

Nayeon laughed beside her.

“Where to next?” The brunette asked as they walked back towards the car side by side, shoulders bumping. “I’m not ready to go home yet.”

Momo paused by the side of the car and Nayeon hopped her way on top of the closed trunk easily. Her feet swung to and fro as she sipped the last of the cold red drink.

“I am.”

She frowned.

“You’re no fun.

“I just sat through a movie for you.”

She received a cunning grin and Nayeon’s red stained tongue poked out slightly between her lips.

“So you didn’t enjoy it at all?” She asked disbelievingly. “You were practically crying at the end of it because they didn’t end up together.”

Momo walked closer, she stood in front of Nayeon and the older girl scooted to the edge of the trunk and put the drink beside her. She rested her arms on either side of her and stared down at Momo with those knowing eyes again. Brown hair fell over the side of her face and it was smoothed back effortlessly while she continued to stare Momo down.

“What?” Momo finally asked. There had been too many times that day where her initial thought after looking at Nayeon was, _that_ _would be a beautiful picture..._ and the parking lot was becoming increasingly more dangerous for such thoughts to constantly reoccur. Nayeon’s fair skin that would soon warm back up its complexion when June came, was illuminated by light and Momo's fingers wanted so badly to just reach out and touch her face. It would be easy given that she was so close, but as much as Nayeon pulled her in there was also a strong invisible sort of force field that kept her at bay. It all started and ended with Nayeon's eyes. They pushed and pulled.

Red lips smiled at her again and Momo was all too excited for that glint in the look Nayeon gave her. It actually made her crave summer, made her miss the way Nayeon had looked surrounded by green under the hot sun. She couldn't wait for the beautiful brown hair that would change as well to a more auburn color and the weightless look Nayeon possessed around butterflies and blossoms. As Momo studied the freckle free face and smelt the spring scent that came from her body, it became clear that the woman had the ability to change with each season as if apart of them.

Nayeon smiled and rubbed her palms together, the long sleeves of the jumper made Momo laugh.

“I’m cold.” She declared. 

Momo just looked at her.

“Then get in the car.”

Nayeon shook her head and scooted further to the edge again. Momo’s eyes widened as jean clad legs wrapped around her waist and pulled her in. She heard the unmistakable laugh that came from the woman above her. The sound made her heart beat a little faster and her thoughts become a little less clear.

“Good?” She asked softly. Momo nodded. Arms soon wrapped around Momo’s neck and Nayeon’s head was on her shoulder. A light scent and cold air that brushed brown hair onto her cheeks and tickled it slightly. She wasn’t sure what to do with her own arms so she just let them rest on the car palm up.

“Why are we hugging in the middle of a parking lot?”

“For practice.” Nayeon said simply. Her warm breath made Momo shiver at the mixed temperature of the air and the warm body hugging her. “You okay?”

Momo nodded. Her hands moved slowly – it was completely intentional when she moved them up Nayeon’s sides and then back down to stop at her waist again. She was certain she felt the woman stiffen and then relax but she was more focused on how soft Nayeon’s body felt beneath her fingers – she wondered what it felt like without the jumper, just her fingertips on Nayeon’s warm skin. Momo pulled herself away and started to walk to the car door before Nayeon could see the blush on her face, _what are you doing?_

Nayeon’s worried voice cut through her thoughts.

“You okay?”

Momo looked over her shoulder and gave a smile.

“Your body is warm and all, but the car would be warmer.”

Nayeon laughed at that and jumped down from the trunk. Her shoes landed on the pavement and her hand swiped her the red plastic cup up as she passed it. “That’s because you didn’t give it time. Hugs warm up.”

Momo smiled at the woman who stood with two fingers on the straw as she tried to squeeze the last bits of the slurpee out. Once she was satisfied that she had gotten her _(*Momo’s)_ money’s worth out of it, she tossed it into a bin and unlocked the door.

Both in, Nayeon turned to Momo in the dark car and looked semi-serious.

“Did you really not like it?”

The Japanese laughed. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it wasn’t that.

“I liked it.” She confessed easily because even if it was a little dark, she knew exactly how Nayeon’s eyes would be looking at her. All soft and unguarded. “No one has ever taken me to see a movie before.”

Nayeon scoffed. 

“You’ve never gone to the movie with one of your dates? Male or female?”

Momo laughed again. The men she was set up with didn’t usually take her to see movies or do anything fun; they would always sit in a moderately priced restaurant and have idle small talk awkwardly. And the women she dated took the reins and tried to introduce her to new things – things _they_ liked. Nayeon had taken her to something she thought _she_ would like.

“No, I guess you’re my first time.”

Nayeon looked away and Momo was confused at the sudden bashfulness that seemed to take over her. Eventually she looked back at Momo with a smile.

“Consider this your first movie date then.”

Momo looked down at the reddened lips and licked her own. She thought back to how Nayeon had opened her door for her earlier and wondered if the woman had intended for this to be a date all along.

“I don’t date married women.” 

Nayeon’s stare became passive and less intense until they locked eyes again. Momo couldn’t tell what she was thinking – she hated when she couldn’t tell what people were thinking when they looked at her.

“Pretend I’m not married then.” Nayeon said simply. Her head fell back against the headrest and she still had her face turned to Momo.

Momo wanted to lean forward – she wanted to go closer to Nayeon. But she didn’t know why.

She put it down to the woman’s addictive pull that everyone seemed to get swirled into. Nayeon was the eye of a tornado and everyone around her was happy to be a casualty; Momo knew she would happily be one as well, there was just something so easy and magnetic about her personality and it couldn’t be helped if you were to fall under the sheer spell of it.

“I was at your wedding. It might be hard to separate.”

Momo looked down at the ring that shined on Nayeon’s hand as it lay in her lap. The brunette’s eyes followed her gaze and she flexed her wrist before moving the hand under her large jumper. She looked at Momo again and that pull returned – only strengthened by the way Nayeon had parted her lips slightly and looked towards Momo’s. She didn’t make any moves but it was as if she had felt the switch being flipped as well; it felt like she had looked at Momo’s lips just as often.

Making the first move for anything was never something Momo did in her relationships – she had a type. _Momo had such a specific type!_ Bold women, women that took charge without a second thought and would pull her face closer to push their tongues past her lips and kiss her; and Momo liked that. She enjoyed it.

Nayeon, although very beautiful and charming, was not her type. The older girl was bold, there was no doubt about that, but she was also married. That alone should make her someone Momo wouldn’t want.

“I could help you with that separation.” Nayeon spoke softly but clearly. Each word was confident and intent on getting its point across. Momo felt that pull again. She moved her face a little closer; Nayeon’s smile returned and she didn’t move at all.

Momo knew she was a moth to the low burning light that Nayeon offered. It was just so easy to keep moving forward. Why? She usually had no problem resisting women – women chased her, bold or not they chased her. She shouldn’t be chasing a flame.

“How would you do that?” Momo asked. Her voice had lowered itself.

“Give you something else to think of.”

“Such as?” Another quick glance at each other’s lips. Momo hated herself for leaning even closer. Nayeon hadn’t moved an inch. She remained silent and just watched Momo. When the woman still didn't speak, Momo felt something in her will crackle and she closed her eyes. She heard the sound of the other people around them in the parking lot who had been returning to their own cars. She heard the sound of engines starting and distant conversations continuing.

Gentle fingers touched her face. They smoothed back her dark hair behind her ears and then disappeared.

“You’re so beautiful, Momo.” Nayeon’s voice had gone even softer.

Momo opened her eyes and saw the smile that greeted her.

She leaned some more and knew full well that she was about to make a mistake, but tornadoes were all about causing those so she wasn’t too worried.

Nayeon didn’t stop her. She kept her eyes on hers until all the distance was gone and Momo had connected their lips.

And tornadoes swirled, didn’t they?

So Momo’s hands lost themselves and she raised one to the side of Nayeon’s face to deepen the kiss – so used to being abrasive with her mouth that she was surprised when Nayeon stilled her by her shoulder with two fingers. It was such a simple touch but it made Momo obey instantly and she stopped trying to push her way between the other woman’s lips. Warm and soft lips that got even warmer the more time they spent over hers. She could hear both their sudden halts in breathing – could feel Nayeon’s finger trace the edge of her jaw, then the brunette had tilted her head and slanted her lips against hers and Momo felt burning hot. Her hand on Nayeon’s face held it more gently. The sharp hold became a cradle. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Nayeon pushed her back. She opened her eyes and saw the woman already looking at her.

They were both quiet for a while. Momo had a million thoughts going but Nayeon looked as though she had just done nothing at all that could be considered wrong. She buckled her seatbelt and put the keys in the ignition. Momo buckled her own out of reflex when the car roared to life.

She looked to the side and watched as Nayeon drove with one hand while the wind blew her hair back a little and her eyes focused on the road ahead. She seemed to feel Momo’s gaze because she looked at her as well. Were they just going to act like it hadn’t happened? She wasn’t crazy – Nayeon kissed her back. They kissed.

“Good?” 

And Momo knew she was referring to if she felt uncomfortable about the kiss. Did she? Momo knew the answer was no. She liked the kiss; it was warm and soft and slow – it was sort of innocent compared to the kisses she usually shared with women. _An innocent kiss with a married woman_... that was an oxymoron in itself. Whatever the case, she liked it and _that_ was the part that made her uncomfortable.

“Yeah.”

x.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being here! & happy valentines day if you're into that sort of thing. <3


	8. Chapter 8

Ms. Park looked a little surprised when she looked up at Momo. Her short brown fringe moved away from her face as she titled her head up at her from behind her desk.

“Dressing up for her now?” She asked with her usual kind smile and warm tone.

Momo looked down at the simple jeans she wore with a blouse and heels. She supposed paired with her out of the ordinary makeup she looked less casual than Ms. Park was used to.

“Very funny, but no.” She rested her arms on the counter. By then she had learned to block out all the occasional noises that would come from behind her; _bark_ , _meow_ , maybe a bird that would repeat one phrase over and over and... Maybe she hadn’t quite blocked them out fully because she could hear a girl arguing with her mother about why exactly she had fed _Jinnie_ her Barbie’s slipper.

The woman smiled at her as she arranged loose pieces of paper into a dark red folder.

“Still not planning on taking her then?”

Momo shook her head with a smile. She visited D.M out of guilt and that was all.

“No, don’t listen to what Vet Im says.”

Ms. Park smiled.

“Oh, I never do.” She winked playfully and Momo laughed.

Her heels clicked on the tiles and the dogs in the kennels she passed had already started to bark and whine as she advanced towards them. She folded her arms once she stood in front of D.M’s cage. The brown dog looked up at her with its usual beady eyes and this time, there was the subtlest wag of a bushy tail. Momo was surprised at it.

“Does this mean you forgive me entirely now?” She poked her finger into the cage and received an instant lick on the side of it. She chuckled. “Okay, it’s a truce then?” D.M moved into a sitting position and it was so different from the unresponsive and docile dog she was usually greeted by, that Momo had to raise an eyebrow at it.

It was clear the dog liked her by now; she might even say that it had gotten attached to her just a little, it had never been shy around her but it was never so comfortable either.

“I’m not going to take you home with me one of these days, you know.” Momo clarified pointlessly. The dog couldn’t understand her. It just stared up at her with its big brown eyes and slight wag of its tail. “I can’t handle a dog.” Momo couldn’t even remember to eat breakfast before she left her apartment half the time... what would she do with a dog that needed to be fed and walked and bathed and looked after? “Why am I even thinking about it?” She gave D.M another stroke with the tip of her finger, as far as it could go in the cage and then she checked her watch. It was almost 5:30 – which meant the clinic would soon close and she had an hour to make it to her date on time.

She said her goodbyes to the hard to read dog and then made her way to Nayeon’s office – like she usually did whenever she visited D.M. This time however, her steps were slow and filled with less purpose. She had been dreading this moment since Nayeon dropped her off yesterday; the moment where she would have to face the other woman again.

It was hard enough to get to sleep with the thought of Nayeon’s eyes and perfectly soft lips on her mind. Lips that had covered her own and made her feel fuzzy. She had tossed and turned and eventually drifted off to sleep – but that didn’t stop the brunette from haunting her, no. Momo dreamed of her. She dreamed of Nayeon’s soft lips and red cheeks.

Her steps faltered once she got a little closer. Should she just leave? What if Nayeon didn’t want to see her? Yes, the kiss had been reciprocated but Nayeon had pushed her back afterwards. Maybe she had been nice to Momo on the drive home because she still believed that she was sensitive and couldn’t handle rejection... but Momo didn’t want acceptance either.

Acceptance meant what they did had been okay and while she didn’t think marriage deserved any praises, she wasn’t the type to blatantly disrespect one like that.

The door was left opened and a faint light from a yellow lamp was all there was to illuminate the room. Nayeon sat behind a metal desk with papers sprawled all over it and three heavy looking books in one corner. She wore round glasses on her face and half her hair was tugged up and away from her face, it was evident a few strands had gotten loose and fell down in rebellion. Momo watched with a small smile as Nayeon scribbled words into a book, too focused to even register the shadow her figure created on the wall of the room.

She knocked. Nayeon jumped slightly.

“God, Momo, you scared me.”

The Japanese laughed and entered the room fully. She couldn’t tell if Nayeon had averted her eyes intentionally or if she really was that intent on finishing her work. Maybe she felt guilty just looking at her.

“How? I didn’t even say anything.” She stood by the woman’s desk and examined the thick books on it. They all looked like they were filled with veterinary jargon she wouldn’t understand.

“That’s my point.” Nayeon checked her own watch and seemed surprised by the time. “I didn’t know it was so late. I should head home.” Momo also couldn’t tell whether that was an excuse to get away from her as quickly as possible or not.

She watched her stand from the desk.

“I’ll help you.”

The brunette shot her a smile and then they wordlessly collected all the loose papers and put them into stacks with no particular order; Nayeon smiled again as she took them from Momo – they both drew back when their fingers brushed against each other’s. After clearing her throat awkwardly, Nayeon laughed and picked the papers back up, cheeks reddened and voice just a little shaky.

“Thanks. How was D.M?” She swiftly directed the destination of the conversation and Momo couldn’t say she minded. Nayeon avoided all her efforts to meet her eyes and Momo took that as a sign that she should make herself scarce soon.

“Good. I think she finally warmed up to me completely.” She was already heading to the door by the time Nayeon put her bag over her shoulder and switched the lamp off. “I’ll see you later.” It was said noncommittally. A hand reached around her wrist to stop her. The room only had the light from the hallway now and when Momo looked back she saw a softer looking Nayeon.

“It’s Saturday, you have your date right?”

Momo hummed. 

“Yes, can’t you tell by how excited I look?”

Nayeon laughed and Momo relaxed a little. The hold on her wrist loosened and she felt it slide down until their hands were clasped. She hated how much that simple act made her giddy.

“What are you doing after that? Geun isn’t back until early in the morning now, his flight was changed around.” Slightly timid brown eyes gained enough courage to meet hers at last. “I was thinking we could go for a walk or something? I don’t know, but we should talk.” There was a faint tint of pink on the tops of her cheeks and Momo tilted her head at it. Wasn’t she the one who was always called shy? Now, here Nayeon was, unable to look at her.

“About what?” She looked up – Nayeon gave her a hurt look, but what was she to do? There was nothing about her that wanted to talk about what happened. She knew Nayeon didn’t run from things and she wasn’t particularly fond of avoiding problems either, but she had gotten too close to Nayeon and too used to having her in her life. Anything that could ruin that wasn’t welcomed.

She folded her arms around herself and as usual, Nayeon read her body language easily.

The brunette nodded her head once and gave Momo some room.

“We won’t talk then.” She said. “But I’d still like to see you. That’s okay, right?”

She looked at her cautiously – Momo probably looked as if she was more than ready to withdraw from the conversation soon because Nayeon shook her head with a smile.

“I guess not then.”

Momo felt bad but she was too afraid of the hold Nayeon had on her, she needed to pull back.

“I’ll still see you soon – won’t I?”

The other woman looked at her and let a short laugh out.

“Sure.”

Momo nodded and turned to leave. She was fully aware of the fact that Nayeon’s footsteps weren’t heard behind her and by the time she got by the door to leave the clinic, the vet still hadn’t come out.

With a heavy sigh and a wave to Ms. Park, she left.

He spoke to her in Japanese, like her mother did, and she smiled at the Kamigata dialect he used; it suited him. She was probably too young back then to ever remember such a detail but now it made sense. Haruki spoke with a smooth voice and he sliced his food with precession that wasn’t really necessary. He wasn’t unpleasant to be around. Besides the talk of his cat, he didn’t really divulge much about himself either and Momo got the impression that the cat was the safest topic for them.

“Your mother says you’re a photographer, like Seunjin.”

She smiled but didn’t say anything about it. She didn’t want to discuss her father with him, she usually never discussed him with anyone.

“Do you talk to my mother often?”

He chuckled and Momo didn’t really like the way he did it without actually opening his mouth – it was so half-assed. Nayeon’s laugh was loud. It was unashamed and she would throw her head back sometimes if whatever she laughed at was too funny. She should stop comparing the two for both their sakes.

“Not really. Her and my mother go to church together, sometimes I tag along.” Of course he did. “She brings you up, I ask how you are and she says I should find out myself. Not very coyly.” He pierced a piece of the steak and eyed Momo. His black hair was cut neatly at the sides and fashionably styled; he didn’t seem as shy as he used to be. But still every bit as polite. “She's charming though.”

“I doubt that.” Momo raised her glass of water to her lips. He watched the action.

“I’m not stupid, Momo.”

She hummed.

“That’s usually what stupid people say.”

Haruki laughed again. This time he parted his lips and let the sound escape a little more; more comfortable apparently from whatever he had pieced together from Momo’s despondent replies.

“I know you don’t want to be here.” He smiled gently. “I don’t either – but we’re both too respectful to tell our mothers differently. I know how it is.”

Maybe he wasn’t stupid after all. Momo relaxed her shoulders as well; these things didn’t always go so smoothly. Sometimes the men would feel inclined to get her number or walk her to her car or even take her home. They would go on and on about how beautiful she was and in the next breath they would admonish her for how she dressed, as if they had any say in it at all. That was more to do with how they were raised than anything else, Momo didn’t take it personally.

Haruki ate his food and she found that she actually enjoyed his stupid cat story now that she wasn’t tensed and afraid of sending the wrong idea by laughing at it.

“Do you have any pets?”

The first thing that popped into her mind was the bushy tailed and brown spotted mutt. With a subtle bite to the inside of her cheek, Momo shook her head.

“I don’t have time for one.”

“Really? Are photographers that busy?” He laughed and Momo rolled her eyes at his playfulness.

“Nothing compared to a lawyer like you, but we still have a lot to do.”

“I suppose you and your girlfriend wouldn’t want a pet running around and keeping you up at strange hours. What is she? A painter or something else artsy?”

Momo nearly choked on the carrot she had been chewing slowly. He pushed her water towards her.

“Don’t be so dramatic. I thought we moved past that.”

She gulped at the water and ignored the diners around them that shot her strange glances.

“What are you talking about?” She asked after she finally calmed down and cleared her throat. God, it was hard to school her face into an expression that could resemble neutrality.

Haruki laughed and he swirled the white wine he had ordered.

“I think you know – I told you I wasn’t stupid and that your mother talks about you in our conversations. Her Momo that hasn’t dated a man seriously in years and that she has to push to meet with one; you can’t forget that I knew you as a child as well. You weren’t very shy about kissing the posters of women on your wall.”

“Haruki.” Momo frowned disapprovingly at his delight in calling her out. The man raised a hand to his mouth and tried in vain to hide his laughter. Meanwhile, her face was on fire and she felt as if the whole restaurant was looking at her. “Did you say anything to my mother?”

He finally sobered and looked at her. His eyes took on a sympathetic glint as he wiped his mouth daintily with a napkin.

“Why would I? I think we also both know that she’s very aware that you’re not into men.” He paused. “Forgive me if I sound too brusque now. I just remember you as being very kind to me when I was smaller; I was pathetic back then but you never took advantage of it like the other children did. I don’t want you to feel as though you have to pretend for me.”

Momo looked at him with guarded eyes. Her fork and knife lay on the plate abandoned and she reached for her water again so she wouldn’t have to speak yet.

Haruki hesitated for a moment before he continued.

“I won’t tell a soul. I’ve known since we were smaller – granted I didn’t fully know back then, but as I thought of you over the years I figured it out.” His tone softened. “You might not believe me, but I always thought of you as my first friend. I hope you can come to think of me similarly.”

His eyes were earnest. Momo shifted in her seat and gave a slight huff.

“I wasn’t kissing the posters. I just needed to get really close in order to see them.”

Haruki smiled and picked his fork up again, Momo did the same.

“I didn’t realize you used your lips to see – I hope you’ve grown out of that or invested in a pair of glasses at least.”

By the time Momo got home, she was ready to immediately fall into her bed.

Her makeup was removed lazily in the bathroom mirror and her jeans were tugged off. The only thing that stopped her from falling asleep with thoughts of a bright eyed brunette on her mind was the incessant _buzz_ of her phone.

It kept vibrating until she took it up from her nightstand.

“Yes, Sana?” 

The blonde laughed a little.

“You could sound more excited to be getting a call from me.”

“Is it about work?”

“No.”

“I’m still not excited but I’m less annoyed.” She sat up in bed and rubbed at her eye. “What is it?”

“How was your date with a man?”

Momo groaned.

“Is that why you called me so late?”

There was a _tsk_ sound.

“It didn’t sound like I woke you up – did you just get home?”

“Sana.” Momo started. “Can we talk about this on Monday? I’m tired.”

“Fine, I’ll just ask Nayeon instead. I’m sure you told her already.”

“I didn’t.”

“Oh. She was the one that told me about your date. I just assumed since you two had gotten closer...you never told me about dates you had, man or not....” She trailed off purposely.

“Can you stop saying that word so much? It wasn’t a date. We just ate together.”

“Okay, fine.” There wasn’t too much of a pause before she kept on. “Is something wrong between you and Nayeon?”

That woke Momo up fully and she stilled. Had Nayeon mentioned the kiss? She told Sana everything after all – Did she tell her? Momo’s shoulders became rigid and she became quiet as the sounds of cars on the street below her window became increasingly noticeable.

“I take that as a yes.” Sana said knowingly. “She was just as quiet when I called her and asked how the movie went.”

“She told you about that?” She sounded panicked even to her own ears. It resonated with Momo then that she was ashamed of her actions. She had kissed a married woman – a friend no less. “What did she say?”

“Hey, calm down a little, okay? She just said it went well and she had a great time.”

Momo’s heart only had a second to relax before Sana kept talking.

“I wanted to thank you, Momoring.” She said unexpectedly. “I’ve known Nayeon for a long time but a little while after she met Geun, she changed. I wasn’t lying about those stories I told you; Nayeon was the wildest and most exciting person I ever met. Everyone grows up, I know that, but her change wasn’t like that... but then you have one conversation with her for less than an hour in a garden and she suddenly has that look back in her eyes. She’s calling me more and more and we spend time together again. She’s happy.”

It sounded like the blonde had paused in thought and Momo remained silent while she waited. There was a short laugh.

“Don’t tell her I said any of this crap but, I’ve gotten to know you over these three years.” Her voice became serious. “I know how you are with people. You don’t keep them around for long and you don’t let them get close.” Momo held her breath. “Nayeon’s already gotten close. If you just drop her after making her this happy – I don’t think I could ever look at you the same way. I wouldn’t.”

“Sana –”

“Don’t. I care for you, Momoring. You’ve become a friend to me as well, but Nayeon has been through a lot and she’s my top priority. If you decide one day that she’s gotten too close and you push her away, I wouldn’t forgive you.”

Momo swallowed and felt how dry her throat was.

“You understand me, right?” Sana asked.

Her eyes darted around her dark bedroom as she thought briefly. She hated that she was in the process of pushing Nayeon away, just like Sana said she would. It wasn’t that simple anymore but she was too ashamed to tell anyone else... this had to stay between her and Nayeon and no one else yet she needed someone else to know. She needed someone else to hear her out and tell her it was okay. It was a complete mess that Nayeon was the only person she trusted to comfort her.

“Yes.” Momo finally said. She could hear the sigh of relief Sana gave and it made her feel even worse.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow at the lunch?"

Momo frowned.

"What lunch?"

"You expect me to believe you and Nayeon are fine and she didn't even invite you to the luncheon at her house tomorrow?"

She could remember Nayeon trying to talk to her earlier that evening and not waiting around to hear what it was about.

"Slipped my mind."

Sana made a noise to show her disbelief.

"I'll see you there."

Momo never slept – every time she closed her eyes she saw Nayeon among flowers and in her pretty sundress; she saw her laughing and walking with her hands behind her back; she saw her dancing sensually in that red dress; she saw her on top of the dark blue trunk staring down at her; she felt Nayeon’s arms around her neck in a calming embrace; she felt her eyes on her in the darkness of a car; she heard Nayeon’s smooth voice telling her she was beautiful and felt a soft finger stroke her jaw. Her eyes would spring open and she would sit up in bed again, but she still saw Nayeon’s red lips and felt the pressure on her own pair after she leaned in to kiss her.

Nayeon had kissed her back. Her lips were soft and warm and so gentle against hers. When she pulled back, Momo tasted the sweet slurpee on her mouth. All of that was amazing, all of it made her stomach clench in anticipation.

She ran a hand through her hair and looked down at her phone, there was only one person she could call to make the tumultuous emotions subside and die down. Only one person she trusted enough to wrap her in a hug wordlessly and run her fingers through her hair soothingly. But she couldn’t go to her because she was the exact reason Momo was in so much trouble – and that was why she didn’t get too close to people.

Her screen came to life as she continued to stare at it and a series of more buzzes followed. **_+02xxxxxxx._** Her head tilted at the unknown number before she swiped and answered.

“Hello?”

Momo had no idea how she went from rarely getting calls at all to getting calls at nearly one in the morning. Was it even still around that time? How long had she been thinking about-

“It’s Nayeon.”

The small phone felt like it weighed a lot more suddenly. There was a chuckle.

“I figured that might be your reaction.”

Momo ran a hand through her hair.

“What is it?”

“I got your number from Sana.” Of course she did. Momo found it extremely convenient that Sana hadn’t mentioned that during their call.

“That’s not what I asked.”

Nayeon hummed.

“I know. I’m stalling.”

“If you’re calling because of last night, feel free to keep stalling. Forever if you’d like.”

There was another laugh and it made Momo pathetically happier.

“Is that your way of saying you want to pretend it didn’t happen? I figured you might say that as well.”

Momo wasn’t so sure what she wanted anymore, except Nayeon to stay in her life and not be taken away by a careless mistake.

“It wasn’t right. I think we should both pretend it didn't happen.”

The call was then silent and Momo almost thought the older girl had hung up, but she didn’t hear anything to indicate it had ended.

“Is it weird that we never exchanged numbers?” Nayeon asked.

“Why are you asking that now?” She laughed.

“It was on my mind. I’ve always wanted to ask for yours but I didn’t know how, that’s not like me.”

Momo silently agreed. 

“You still never asked.”

“I know, I needed to talk to you soon and it felt like you were about to say goodbye to me – that when you said you’d see me later you didn’t really mean it.” She heard the breath Nayeon took in. “I know it wasn’t right to do. I’m sorry if I made you feel guilty or anything bad – I never wanted you to be uncomfortable. Don’t... don’t stop seeing me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean. You said it yourself you don’t let people stay in your life for a long time.”

“I also said you were the exception. That’s still the case, nothing has changed.”

Nayeon gave a sigh of relief similar to the one Sana did.

“I want to see you now.”

Momo’s heartbeat picked up at the words and she clenched the sheets that had fallen around her waist when she sat up.

“Nayeon...”

“Relax. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Momo was amused by the sentiment.

“Yeah? What are you going to do when he’s back? When you can’t just come running over here to make sure I’m okay.”

Nayeon gave an exasperated sigh.

“Geun or not – I’d always come to you.”

When Momo opened her door less than thirty minutes later, Nayeon had raised her head and looked at her carefully, gauging her mood. Trying to understand what the younger girl needed from her.

The Japanese tilted her head and rested it against the doorway.

Nayeon shifted and adjusted the white t-shirt she wore _(*one size too small)_. Momo’s eyes were drawn to the bottom of the shirt where a sliver of the girl’s stomach was exposed.

She knew she had been staring for a while by then and looked up to meet the shining brown eyes.

“Aren’t you cold in just that?”

Nayeon looked down at her own outfit, ran a hand down her stomach casually and then pulled at her black track pants. She was dressed more like she was going for a run than to a friend’s house in the early hours of the morning. Momo wondered if that was strategic planning in case Geun got home before her.

“It was the first thing I grabbed.” She shrugged. “If you’re so worried about my warmth, shouldn’t you let me in?”

Momo knew it was a taunt. Nayeon probably saw right through her and picked up on the fact that she was nervous to let her in.

Her eyes softened.

“Or you could not.” She offered instead. “I came to make sure you were okay, and you seem okay. So I can go.”

Momo didn’t want her to leave but it was probably for the best.

“You could.”

“So you’re okay?”

A slight twitch to her lips.

“I’m fine. Are you?”

Nayeon tilted her head a little. Her eyes on another round of examination to see if Momo was telling the truth.

“No. I feel like shit.” She went with honesty instead. Her face was free of makeup and Momo could see that she looked tired, tired and still unfairly beautiful. Nayeon looked away from her eyes. “I just don’t feel like shit for the right reasons.”

“I was the one that kissed you.”

Nayeon met her eyes again; a small smile was on her lips.

“I was the one that wanted you to.”

Momo was ready to close the door at any minute then. She was ready to shut it and then try her best to start the process of shutting Nayeon out of her life as well. But she couldn’t do that, not with the way those vulnerable eyes stared at her and refused to look away anymore.

She moved aside, Nayeon looked surprised but she walked in.

Momo closed the door and remained as close to it and as far away from Nayeon as she could. The brunette didn’t say anything about the space, she just stood in the middle of the room again and respected the clear line Momo had drawn between them.

“Do you normally not offer your guests somewhere to sit?” She asked after a while of just standing in place.

“I don’t normally get guests.” 

Nayeon smiled and turned her head towards the couch that was to their right. In a not so subtle way, she looked back towards Momo and then to the couch again.

“Fine, please have a seat.”

The brunette laughed while she went over to the couch and sat in the middle of it. Momo opted to sit in the armchair across from her. Nayeon raised her eyebrows.

“I’m starting to think outside was warmer.”

Momo wrapped her arms over her legs as she pulled them up to her chest. “Go back outside then.” Nayeon’s smile lessened a little and she immediately felt bad. “Sorry.”

Nayeon shook her head and looked around to avoid her eyes again.

“You didn’t have to let me in if you don’t want me here.” Her voice was firm as she spoke and it lacked the teasing edge it usually held. “Don’t I always make sure you’re comfortable?”

“Yes.”

She stopped her inspection of the room and her eyes cut to Momo’s.

“Then, you know that I would never want you to be uncomfortable around me. Don’t you?”

Momo’s fingers were cold even though they were so tight around her arms. She remembered how warm Nayeon's fingers had been on her face as they moved over her jaw.

“Momo?”

She needed to snap out of it.

“I know. I’m not uncomfortable with you.” It was the exact opposite at that moment – she wanted Nayeon closer to her despite all the space she purposely put between them.

She seemed relieved at the answer and sat back a little more in the couch.

“I’m sorry.” Nayeon said again.

Momo felt like not even a quarter of the blame belonged to Nayeon. She had been the one that kept leaning and leaning and leaning until all that was left, were her lips against hers. She hated that she wanted to feel her lips on hers again.

“It’s fine.” She finally said. Nayeon looked surprised by that. “It was a mistake.”

The older girl smiled a little and then nodded her head.

“A mistake.”

x.


	9. Chapter 9

The following Monday, Momo had an especially difficult time pulling herself away from Sana.

“You would tell me if something was wrong between you and Nayeon – wouldn’t you?” She asked as she stood by her car outside of a chapel. Her bag was in her hand and her fingers were around the two leather straps loosely. “Because that luncheon was... awkward. Even more awkward than things usually are with Geun around.”

Momo ran a hand through her hair while a leaf blower made a dull noise somewhere behind them.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You act like he’s a horrible person.”

She wanted to say that he was, but maybe that would've looked weird. In all honesty she wanted to jump at any opportunity to call him an egocentric ass while they were all gathered around in Nayeon’s backyard at a long ovular table. It wasn’t an activity she’d like to repeat but it wasn’t completely awful either. Even if Nayeon sat beside her and their elbows touched so often that she thought she would go crazy from just that.

Sana smiled a little and they began to walk slowly towards the chapel. It was white and obviously newer from the look of the un-chipped coats of paint and the more modern looking entrance. Momo made a face at the large statue of Mary.

“I’ve known him since school, actually. All of us met there in our first years.” Her usual contempt for Geun was left out of her voice as they approached the marble steps. “We were all best friends – the two you met yesterday included.” She paused with a small frown on her face. “Sometimes I think if I hadn’t pushed him and Nayeon to be together, that everything would’ve been better. That I would still be able to call him a close friend.”

Momo walked beside the blonde. She didn’t want to interrupt – she had waited a long time silently wondering how a couple like Nayeon and Geun came to be. Why Nayeon was such an unhappy bride and why someone as strong willed and independent as her would go through with a marriage she clearly wasn’t happy to be in.

They paused by the large opened doors and Sana leaned against the banister of the stairs, the last of the spring winds blowing her hair around her face.

“Sometimes I wonder if she blames me, you know.” There was a regretful smile on her face. “I always told her how good they looked together.”

Momo’s instincts were always a minute too late in situations like this. Her mind was slow in processing other’s emotions when she needed to; sadness was easy to see more often than not, but it was hard to understand and fix when no one had ever tried to fix her own. She wasn’t taught to move without words and offer someone comfort.

Except when it came to Nayeon – it was with a sharp tug at her heart that she realized she had been the first one to initiate the hugs between them. Her instincts were fully intact then, weren’t they? She hadn’t even hesitated before she got up and pulled the older girl in.

“Let’s go in, I’m sure the Lees are already in there.”

While Sana walked away, Momo knew she should’ve said something along the lines of, _‘Nayeon loves you, she doesn’t hold anything against you’_. But no words left her lips.

The statue of Mary praying beside her seemed to almost smirk at her delayed responses.

She made another face at it as she walked by.

Nayeon was really something, Momo thought so at least. Brown hair a little past her shoulders, either perfectly curled or perfectly straight, vigilant eyes that looked as though they were shining at you, perfect lips that would spread into the most tempting of smiles...and she was staring again wasn’t she?

Her eyes shot back up to Nayeon’s – the woman raised her eyebrows as she sat behind her desk.

“Were you not listening to me again?” She made a disapproving sound and slid her glasses off of her face. Momo mourned the cute touch they added but was quickly rewarded by Nayeon’s smile. “Pay attention, you’re the one that asked me about this stuff.” Oh, right.

Momo had knocked on the vet’s door a full thirty minutes before the clinic was supposed to close. Her mind blanked upon seeing the brunette however, and for the first time in a long time, Momo was at a loss for words. Nayeon had stared at her weirdly and then asked if she had seen D.M already, Momo absently nodded and stepped further into the room. _It was a mistake..._ she tried to play off her weird behavior by randomly pointing to one of the large books on Nayeon’s desk and asking her to explain what was in it.

Which was how she ended up next to her, inhaling the smell of spring and taking in the gentle touches of Nayeon’s fingers as she turned the pages in the book. She followed every tap of a page with her eyes and every glide across the words as well. Realistically, she knew she should’ve been doing anything but spending time with Nayeon alone. Not when she kept having strange dreams of her lips over hers and especially not when all she wanted was to make those dreams become true again.

“I’m listening now.” She assured the woman with a smile but it was easily seen through – how had Nayeon come to know her so well already?

Nayeon closed the book and sat back in her chair – the silver necklace around her neck drew Momo’s eyes lower to where the pendant rested between her collarbones.

“Come somewhere with me tonight.” Nayeon said suddenly, as if she didn’t notice Momo’s incessant staring.

“Nayeon...” She trailed off instead of outright saying she didn’t know if she trusted herself to go anywhere with her alone.

Always quick to understand her, Nayeon gave her a gentle smile.

“We can invite Sana if you want.”

“She’ll say no. Work is heavy right now.”

The other woman raised her eyebrows.

“A lot of weddings?”

“It’ll only get busier. People like to be married in summer.”

Nayeon’s smile dimmed and she looked away. Momo knew she was thinking of her own summer wedding.

“Doesn’t even feel like I’ve been married that long.”

“Maybe that’s because you and Geun were together since school.”

The brunette turned back to her, Momo couldn’t tell if the look on her face was annoyance at the estimation of time or the reminder that they had been together since then.

“We were on and off.” Nayeon said finally. “Sana talks too much.”

“She said she pushed you two together.”

A hum. 

“Sort of. Geun was always after me because I was the middle finger to his parents - outspoken, dressed in shorts that showed too much skin – and my father hated Geun’s properness so I guess he was the middle finger to my parents too, even if my mother still pretends to like him.”

Momo tilted her head at that.

“So you were only a couple to annoy your parents?”

Nayeon laughed.

“It’s not that simple. If you’re asking if I we did love each other, the answer is yes; in portions, but he always loved me more.” She fiddled with the band on her ring finger. “I always told him he deserved someone else but he was too stubborn.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Brown hair swayed as Nayeon tilted her head at her, an endearing smile on her face.

“This again?” Momo smiled. “Go ahead.”

“Why did you marry him? Sana seems convinced that he’s not good for you anymore and you don’t seem happy when you’re around him.” She thought back to the luncheon and how Nayeon never met his eyes and how she would move her hand out of reach every time he tried to take hold of it. “Don’t take it the wrong way, but you look miserable with him. You don't even let him hold your hand.”

Nayeon smiled.

"Like this?" She asked coyly as she took Momo's left hand. Momo looked down at the way Nayeon intertwined their fingers easily. “If I’m miserable, I deserve it for everything I put him through. Really, Sana has no clue.”

“She’s your best friend.” Momo objected somewhat weakly. “Even then it doesn’t take a high level of intelligence to see the way he treats you, Nayeon. The way he shouts and orders you around.”

“Geun isn’t a bad person, I am.” She looked at Momo. “Sana’s my best friend and even she doesn’t know everything that happened between us – I did a lot of shitty things to him, if he raises his voice every now and then I don’t think I can hold it against him.”

Momo frowned slightly – she didn’t think that was fair. Maybe she was biased towards Nayeon but she couldn’t imagine that she could ever do anything to warrant that type of behavior from him. To her, Nayeon wasn’t an angel; she was everything in between the stages of good and bad, everything that balanced unsteadily on the fine line of right and wrong.

“Do you still love him?” She asked, maybe in a rash need to understand her motivations. Maybe in a selfish need to feel better about the fact that she didn’t want her to.

Nayeon looked at her for a moment.

“You told me that no religion suited you, you remember?” She smiled. “That was amazing to hear from someone, especially around here – that you didn’t believe in anything.” She pulled their hands up and her eyes switched from the way they were clasped to the brown eyes watching. “I told you I envied you because even without love, a marriage could still work if you believed in a god. After I met you, I wished I didn’t believe in mine – in anything, because you looked happier that way.”

Nayeon smiled at her and Momo felt her heartbeat pick up in a familiar way; she felt her eyes start to drift again.

“I thought I was the better influence between the two of us.” She said lightly.

The brunette laughed and nodded her head.

“You’re the best influence, but only because I’m myself when I’m around you.”

Momo didn’t say anything; she knew they were on that fine line of right and wrong.

“You don’t need a religion to tell you whether something is wrong or not, Nayeon.”

“I know. I’m not an indirect person, Momo.” She dropped her hand and turned to her fully. “But you make it hard for me to say what’s on my mind sometimes.”

Momo smiled.

“I thought you said you were yourself when you were around me.”

“No time for jokes, I have something on my mind again.” Nayeon said as she bit back her own smile. “When I met you, I was hiding behind those bushes so I didn’t have to face Sana and Geun and talk more about the wedding I didn’t want to have – then I saw you, looking happy from just staring at flowers. You had the most genuine smile I had seen in days. And you smiled at me.”

Nayeon looked down briefly and Momo couldn’t recall a time where she was ever as bashful.

“You made me feel some sort of peace even though I knew I was about to do something for the sake of others and not myself, you made me laugh even though I was sad. You still do.”

“Nayeon.” Momo could tell well enough where the words were going but she wasn’t sure they should be said.

“I know, sorry. I told you I felt guilty for the wrong reasons.” She laughed gently. “I don’t feel guilty because we kissed and you called it a mistake though.” Her hand was reclaimed and Momo’s breath hitched as it was placed against Nayeon’s chest. The latter smiled at the response. “I feel guilty because of that, how fast my heart beats when you just smile or even look at me.” Momo felt the quick rhythm beneath her fingers. “I feel guilty because of how much I think of you, how often you cross my mind and I smile too.” She moved her other hand up and brushed it against Momo’s cheek. “I feel guilty for always knowing I would end up kissing you, for always knowing I wanted it to happen.”

Her eyes dipped to Nayeon’s lips.

“I feel guilty for always knowing it would happen again. Even when you called it a mistake.”

The hand on her cheek guided her face closer and Momo didn’t want to do anything to stop it. Nayeon stopped when there was an even distance between them, their eyes met.

“That’s why I feel guilty. All the wrong reasons.”

Momo could feel the familiar fog clouding her mind from how close Nayeon was, could feel herself about to tip over onto the morally questionable side of the line.

Just as she was about to reply, there was a knock on the door and the two women sprung apart like coils, hands dropping from each other’s bodies and back to their own laps.

Ms. Park opened the door a second after and smiled at them with her usual warmth.

“Hi, I was just letting you know I’m leaving now. We’re the last ones again.”

Nayeon smiled and nodded her head, her cheeks were red and Momo smiled secretly.

“We’ll leave now too then.” She looked at Momo. “Ready?”

Momo nodded dazedly.

“We can walk out together, if that’s easier.” Ms. Park suggested to Nayeon who smiled.

“Just let me pack up, five minutes tops.” 

“Take your time, I don’t mind.” Then she left the doorway and her heels clicked against the floor down the corridor.

Momo watched Nayeon run a hand through her hair. She smiled.

“Why are you smiling?”

She shook her head and stood.

“Nothing. I’ll help you pack up.”

Nayeon placed a few folders in her bag. “Anxious to get home? I thought you said you would go out with me tonight?”

“Geun?”

“Won’t be here.” She answered easily. “So?”

Momo didn’t really feel like going anywhere.

“You can come by my place if we _have_ to be together.”

Nayeon stopped packing and raised her eyebrows in that familiar way.

“You sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to. It can wait until Sana’s free.”

Momo nodded her head.

“I didn’t drive here so you’ll be doing me a favor as well.”

It wasn’t until Nayeon smiled and looked away that she realized what the invitation might have implied. Her cheeks burned as a blush rushed up her neck and she wondered if she should add something to clarify the situation. It was almost funny how she stood with one book outstretched for Nayeon to take while she severely rethought her words.

“You can let go now.” Nayeon laughed as she gave a tug to the book. “Thank you.”

Momo released the hold instantly.

“You okay? Your face is red.”

“Oh.”

Nayeon looked at her weirdly but just picked her bag up and nodded towards the door.

“Let’s go.”

Momo dithered behind until Nayeon shot her another look.

The good thing about being a person that never really spoke much, was that Momo could sit in Nayeon’s car on the drive to her house and have her silence not be questioned. The radio had been off and Nayeon busied herself by tapping on the steering wheel or making passing statements that Momo just had to nod or hum at.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she was so worried as she unlocked her door and let Nayeon in – she was sure that the older girl didn’t even think what she thought she would be thinking – she offered her a seat and then wandered off to the kitchen to get them both drinks. She stayed in the kitchen a little longer than necessary after she had grabbed two cans of the soda Nayeon liked. 

When she came back out, Nayeon had been texting on her phone. She was uncharacteristically indecisive about where to sit.

“Here.” Momo handed her the can and sat in the armchair opposite her again. Nayeon eyed the choice but didn’t say anything as she popped the lid. “What do you want to do?”

She instantly regretted her words and her cheeks tinted pink again –

“I mean, do you want to watch a movie?”

Nayeon’s throat bobbed as she took three sips coolly.

“Not really. You could show me some of your pictures actually.” She smiled, excited. “You said you would.”

“I said I might.” Momo corrected but was already up again and going to retrieve her camera and some of the pictures she thought were good enough to print out. Nayeon sat with her elbow propped by her knee and her head in the palm of her hand, calm and completely collected by the time she returned again.

She smiled.

“Are you going to show me the pictures from over there too?” Her eyes fell to the trusty armchair that was a good distance away.

Momo kept her face neutral as she sat next to her. Their elbows brushed but she thought it would be too obvious if she moved it away.

The photo album lay in her lap and the camera on top. Nayeon moved a little further across until the sides of their thighs touched. Momo thought it was a bit much.

“You like taking pictures of flowers more than ones of people?” She mused as Momo flipped through picture after picture.

“Seunjin liked nature; he liked being surrounded by pretty flowers and still animals, especially in spring. Since he taught me, I guess I grew to like the same things.”

Nayeon hummed. She would tell Momo to pause on certain pictures so she could look at them more closely and ask questions – Momo smiled and laughed while she retold the stories and Nayeon laughed too. She relaxed and let her shoulders drop; Nayeon placed her chin on her right one as she looked over it.

Another laugh – then a sort of surprised exhale of breath when Momo got to the middle of the printed out ones.

“Is that me?”

“I forgot I took this – I was going to give you it.”

“Sure you were.” She picked the picture up and held it closer to her face. “This was the day you ran into me and D.M. Is it vain if I choose this moment to say you’re a good photographer?”

Momo laughed.

“It’s okay. That was my favorite picture of this spring.” And it honestly was. The pond in the background, the expression of comical frustration on Nayeon’s face as she tugged the dog’s leash. It was a picture you could look at and have it tell the story by itself. Momo thought those were sometimes the best ones. “It’s not vain. You’re beautiful.”

“So are you.” She replied instantly – if it was anyone else, Momo would call it insincere, but Nayeon wasn’t an insincere person. She didn’t give compliments just to return them.

She placed the picture back down but Momo set it aside so she could take it when she left.

“Momo?”

The Japanese hummed.

“Can I ask you a question for a change?”

Nayeon moved away from her shoulder to give her some space since all the photographs had been shown.

“Okay.”

The brunette thought about her words before she said them, as if Momo would only give her the chance to answer one.

“This must be serious.” She realized she had picked up Nayeon’s habit of making light of situations. “What do you want to ask?”

Nayeon thought a little more before she settled on one that was worthy.

“What do you think of me?”

Momo raised her eyebrows – another habit she picked up from Nayeon.

“What do I think of you?”

She nodded.

“Anyone would think I’m a horrible person given my recent actions. But I can’t tell if you think that.”

Momo put the camera and photo album aside. She didn’t think Nayeon was a horrible person – that would mean she thought she was a horrible person herself, wouldn’t it? Momo felt a little shame for her recent actions as well, but not that she was horrible. She trusted Nayeon too much to not believe that the woman had a reason.

“I’m not in charge of judging someone’s feelings or character. I don’t think anyone or anything is.” She looked at Nayeon so that she would know the words were earnest. “What you feel,” She placed her hand on Nayeon’s chest again, “in here, is yours to feel. It doesn’t make you horrible or guilty of anything.”

Nayeon looked captivated with her words and Momo wondered if their voices had the same effect on each other.

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want.” Nayeon admitted carefully. “I don’t want to do anything to make you have to push thoughts of me away when I cross your mind.”

Momo wasn’t sure if there would ever be a time where she would be able to get Nayeon out of her mind successfully, no matter how hard she pushed. Nayeon was always there, no versions of her that her mind made up either, because Nayeon wasn’t someone you had to make fantasies about. Nayeon was the fantasy herself.

Her lips lowered again; she was so close, that was exactly what she had been hoping for. Another chance to kiss her. All her replays of the night in that car – it could be reinvented.

“Momo.” Nayeon’s voice drew her eyes back up. “I need you to tell me it’s okay if I kiss you right now.”

Was it? Momo didn’t have a religion or anything concrete she could pray to or lay worries onto, nothing that she could think of to instantly be relieved it existed and could help her; her hand flattened against Nayeon’s chest, she felt the beat skip beneath her fingertips and knew that she would never need anything more fantastical than the woman in front of her.

She moved her face closer, and her lips whispered words against Nayeon’s mouth like her own version of a prayer, soft and just between them like her own version of a confession.

“I want you to kiss me.” And she felt Nayeon’s heart again. She let go of her worries and felt relief with the way Nayeon’s lips twitched into a smile. “It’s okay.”

Nayeon didn’t move any closer. Momo’s patience wore thin and she remembered why she didn’t believe in god – god took his time. The woman in front of her was no different.

“Nayeon.” Her lips moved against hers and she felt them brush. “Please.”

A careful hand was placed on her cheek and Momo’s eyes darted back and forth between the pair watching her intently looking for any signs that she wasn’t sure. Momo was all too sure – but this time she needed Nayeon to close the distance. Devout Christians didn’t need to physically see God with their own eyes in order to believe, did they? Probably not; but Momo needed to believe that Nayeon wanted to kiss her even if she told her just as much.

Nayeon’s finger traced her lips softly and then the hand moved her face closer once again – it was a slow pull, not at all like the one Momo felt inside of her. She was anxious for the gap to be closed and their lips to finally meet.

“You’re so beautiful, Momo.” Nayeon said lowly again and Momo’s eyes closed when she ghosted her mouth against hers and spoke as if she was her own god for the night as well. “I’ve always liked you more than I should.”

The pressure against her lips increased and she breathed out. Nayeon’s mouth was as tender as she remembered and she struggled not to take full advantage of the fact that her hand was still placed on her chest – it was strange to her; she had never felt sexually impulsive. She never dwelled too much on the reasons behind it but she knew it was because she didn’t want to give that much trust to anyone.

Nayeon’s other hand came up to her face and she held it as she turned her head and their lips moved against each other again – Momo went to move her hand away but a hand left her face quickly and stopped her. Their eyes opened at the same time and Momo felt a gentle squeeze on her hand.

“Is that okay?” Momo nodded. Then Nayeon was kissing her again and their eyes fluttered shut easily. Momo’s hand obediently stayed on her chest – she didn’t move it, just let it stay there. She felt every harsh beat and every skip. It was amazing to her.

Nayeon parted her lips slowly – her right hand fell to Momo’s thigh and the left one stayed against her face. Momo didn’t want to rush the kiss, she knew from the last that Nayeon preferred a more gradual one, but her patience was thin and after you got the taste for something it was easy to lose yourself to it.

The hand on her thigh moved higher and Momo found that she didn’t mind. She wanted it to go higher. When Nayeon finally deepened the kiss she felt relieved all over again and she exhaled as their heads turned to accommodate each other’s mouths. Nayeon tasted sweet, like the soda and whatever she had put on her lips earlier that night. Momo’s idle hand rested itself against her waist and she gripped it in a small act to show she wanted her closer – but Nayeon just smiled.

“We should stop.” But she didn’t push Momo away again. Their lips continued to move against each other and Momo gave another sharp grip that made Nayeon stop again with tightly shut eyes. “Momo.” Her laugh was breathy.

The younger girl bit her bottom lip and looked up to meet dark eyes.

“What?”

Nayeon removed the hand from her chest and retracted her hand from Momo’s thigh.

“I don’t want this to go too far and end up being another mistake for you.” She looked partly embarrassed again. “Especially since you’re, you know.”

Momo laughed.

“A virgin? It’s okay if you say the word aloud.”

Nayeon looked away with a red face. It was unlike her and Momo mused that they brought out different sides of each other that were new.

“I wasn’t planning on having sex with you.” Was that true? She knew she was completely terrified that she might’ve implied it earlier, but the way Nayeon’s skin felt beneath her fingers and the way her lips felt against hers was enough to make her rethink. “I’m fine with just kissing you.” That part was at least a little truer.

Nayeon gave her a look.

“I’m not sure I can say the same.” She moved her eyes back down to reddened lips. “But I promise to pull back if I catch myself. Okay?” Momo nodded but silently hoped that she wouldn’t catch herself.

“Okay.” Then their lips met again and Momo raised a hand to Nayeon’s chest – that Nayeon promptly removed and placed back onto her own lap.

x.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry if people cheating on their s.os is a big no for you, but I assure you it's not what it seems like. Also sorry for errors I didn't double check. Thanks for being here! I appreciate it a lot and I hope you're all doing well


	10. Chapter 10

Momo valued simplicity. If she had to categorize her life into two things that were more important than anything else to her, it would’ve gone – simplicity, silence. 

Everything she introduced into her world was simple, to anyone else it was probably all boring and extremely routine – Sana would definitely fall asleep in the passenger seat of Momo’s life if she was ever stuck there for even a day. But that didn’t matter to Momo because she found a great deal of comfort in anything that was guaranteed – anything she could allow herself to trust. 

Most people could enjoy being at concerts and screaming their hearts out along with their favorite artists, but for as long as Momo could remember she preferred the silence of her own room. Even when she was a student, she would avoid the cliques of girls that tried to befriend her and would instead, retreat to empty classrooms to eat her lunch. Even the apartment she ended up choosing was in a quiet area. 

Maybe that was why everyone thought she was shy – but Momo wasn’t shy. Seunjin told her it was okay, that she was allowed to prefer the silence. He taught her how to speak through whatever she captured with her camera. Momo never brought up the latest things she was interested in and she never said how her day was, but she would offer her little camera up to Seunjin after dinner and from that alone he could see everything Momo liked. 

She missed that – being heard without having to speak. 

There was an awkward silence between her and her mother, unlike most of their awkward silences, this one was mutual. 

Her tea was as pungent as ever as she held it up to her lips, too strong and not with enough sugar to make it taste at least a little better. She still sipped it though, the day was already sensitive enough; she didn’t need to step on her mother’s toes by insulting her choice of tea. 

“I ran into Haruki’s mother at church.” Was the conversation starter that Momo wished never came – but then again it was only so long before her mother would work a man into their talks. Her mother’s teacup made a small _clank_ as it was rested in its matching saucer, blue and white with small patterns on it. “We were talking and she mentioned that Haruki had a great time with you.” 

Momo kept her expression neutral. 

“I had a nice time with him too.” That was true, but not to the extent that her mother hoped. Momo looked up at her and resisted the urge to add, _as a friend,_ when she saw the smile on the woman’s face. “How is he?” 

Her mother gave a light shrug and looked back at her tea. 

“He missed church, but his mother said he was doing well. He’s a lawyer, you know.” 

“I know.” 

“If you had such a good time with him, you should go on another date. It’s clear that the feeling is mutual with how his mother put it.” 

Sensitive or not, there was no reason to delude her. _(*Momo had been deluding her for years.)_ Not when it came to Haruki at least – Haruki was too close of a subject with how often their mothers saw each other and Momo didn’t want to cause any confusion that could end up being bothersome for the women. 

“I like him more as a friend.” She said gently. Her mother’s smile slipped away and Momo looked down with guilt; it was such a sensitive day, but she couldn’t lie to her then, couldn’t drag Haruki into it either. 

“You always like them more as friends. Or not at all.” She placed the teacup down altogether on the little glass table in front of them. Momo noticed the red rim around her eyes, knew that she had been crying a little earlier. Her mother reached a dainty hand out, smoothed her hair away from her face and looked sad. “You’re a pretty girl, Momo.” Momo wished it sounded like a compliment and not so sorrowful – like her beauty was going to waste. “Too pretty to be single. You should be happy and married.” 

Why did those things have to go together? Why couldn’t she be pretty, happy and completely single? 

“I am happy.” She said as her mother continued to look over her face. _Are you?_

“You’re alone.” 

Momo couldn’t help that she replied with, “So are you.” 

Her mother’s hand faltered in her hair and then she pulled it away completely and reached for her tea again. Momo didn’t bother to pretend to drink hers anymore, it had gone cold and it made the bitter taste even harder to handle. 

“God brought Seunjin into my life – He'll bring a man into yours that’s just as good.” 

Such a sensitive day, but she could mention his name with a smile on her face in a passing comment. 

Her frustration started to build, in that muted and calm way that it always did when she was with her mother. She boiled silently and hoped the steam wouldn’t reach the woman's shoulder that was so close to her – closer than usual because despite all her efforts to keep her emotions to herself, she sought comfort sometimes. Momo wanted to ask her mother why she could only find an answer in a man or a god – wasn't it her god that had taken Seunjin away? 

“I’m happy already.” She said it with a finality in her tone that wasn’t usually there when she spoke to her mother. 

“I don’t see why you can’t date Haruki. You’ve always been too picky, with food, which classes you took, friends – everything.” 

“I don’t like him in that way.” 

The teacup was placed harshly back onto the table. 

“You never like them in that way.” Her voice was snappy then. Slowly becoming more and more detached and Momo didn’t miss the way she shifted over on the sofa. “Why can’t you like them in that way?” 

Momo knew she knew. There were easier ways to ask her why she was gay. 

She gave Momo a quick glance, her eyes went over face again and Momo could practically hear how pretty she thought she was. 

“Try to like them.” 

There were easier ways to tell her not to be gay too. 

_“Hai.”_

It was raining by the time Momo pulled into the clinic’s parking lot later that day. She looked into her backseat and frowned when she saw that the red umbrella wasn’t there – she could’ve sworn she had thrown it back there that morning. 

The rain was heavy and she didn’t think it would stop anytime soon. It hit against the roof of her car and every _pat_ worsened her mood. She let her windows slowly fog up. 

She hated summer. 

And she hated that she didn’t go home instead of wanting to see Nayeon – for all her talk of liking things that were guaranteed, she really had an irredeemable taste in women lately since nothing about Nayeon could actually be guaranteed. Her being married and all. It wasn’t lost on Momo how ironic the whole situation was; she hated the idea of marriage, thought it was laughable. Yet there she was... 

She wasn’t sure whether her moral compass was wonky and in need of tuning or if she was just as alone as her mother always claimed she was. She liked Nayeon a lot – probably a bit too much, but that was hardly any excuse for her to lose herself to her emotions. Momo usually never had any problems with staying away from things she knew weren’t good for her; she never needed to be told not to eat too much candy or not to get too close to open flames while her mother cooked. 

So what was it about Nayeon that she couldn’t resist? 

There was a knock on her window that startled her. She turned to see a brunette with an umbrella over her head and a smile on her face. 

She gestured for Momo to unlock the door, so without much thought to it, Momo obeyed and Nayeon opened the passenger side door and slipped in. The loud sound of the rain was finally heard and it disrupted the small, silent space of the car; drops of water got on the seats as Nayeon fiddled with the umbrella and compressed it so that she could slip it between the seats and finally close the door. 

She wore her hair in a ponytail that was slack, her light green scrubs had a few specks of water as well and her hands were rubbing against her arms in an effort to warm herself up. 

“It’s freezing.” Nayeon spoke. 

“It’s raining.” 

She gave Momo a look. 

“Is that why you’re brooding?” 

“I’m not brooding.” 

Nayeon laughed. 

“You’re sitting in the rain and frowning. I’m sure if you liked music, there would be something sad playing.” She tilted her head. “Or is it playing in your head?” 

“Why would music play in my head if I don’t like it?” Momo shook her head and felt all her earlier thoughts start to slowly detangle themselves from around her mind. “This is a weird hello.” 

Nayeon smiled and drummed her fingers against the armrest, always fidgety and eager to make some sort of sound. She paused her movements when Momo shot her hand a look. Her smile turned a little shy. It only lasted a second, but it was enough to make Momo’s heart soften from it. 

“I'm always a weird hello." She laughed. "Sorry. Hi, Momo.” 

Her voice was light, it floated around in the confines of her car and the Japanese was sure that if she did like music, Nayeon’s voice would be her favorite song. Or maybe she was being sentimental again because of the rain and the date and how unaffected her mother seemed and how pretty Nayeon could look in scrubs and a tired smile. 

“Vet Im.” 

Nayeon smiled at that – Momo watched it; it was slow and it made her already rosy cheeks stand out a little more. Something about it was so warm to her. She decided she was happy she didn’t go straight to her apartment to be alone; being in a car with Nayeon while the rain fell outside and the fog on her windows started to accumulate was... comforting. Nayeon’s light perfume mixed with hers and she liked it. Momo rested her head on the steering wheel but angled it towards the smiling woman – she liked it a lot. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

Nayeon moved a hand out and her cool fingers touched her cheek. The touch was nothing like her mother’s, it wasn’t reminiscent or a sad wish for what could’ve been. Nayeon’s fingers were careful and soft as she brushed the pads of them against Momo’s face. If it was anyone else, Momo would’ve recoiled from the calming action. 

“You get here around this time every day. I knew it was raining,” she raised her eyebrows, “and I knew you would forget your umbrella again. I came to save you.” 

Momo smiled. 

“Broken wing complex?” 

Nayeon rolled her eyes. 

“Right. You don’t need to be saved – I came here to guide you, unsafely into my office.” She paused and her fingers smoothed the bangs off of Momo's face – it didn’t last long before they fell right back into place on her forehead and Nayeon smiled at it. “So we could hug.” 

Momo closed her eyes with the rain in the background and Nayeon’s warm touch against her cheek. She couldn’t remember the last time she had enjoyed the white noise of rain. 

“Hug?” 

Nayeon hummed. 

“D.M missed you. It’s been a week.”

She laughed at that and opened her eyes again. 

“Dogs don’t have a concept of time, do they?” She raised an eyebrow. “And if D.M missed me, I should be hugging her, not you.” 

Nayeon’s finger tapped against her cheek in a light reprimand and Momo laughed again. 

“I missed you more than she did, so I need the hug more – that's why I was working up to it.” 

“Is that so?” 

The vet grinned. 

“A week. Five days' worth of hugs. Five small hugs if you’d prefer that.” She nodded (agreeing to her own plan), then started to draw invisible patterns that trailed from Momo’s closed eyes, around her cheek and down to her jaw. Nayeon liked a lot of contact, Momo noticed it the first time they were alone together. She liked to feel close to whoever she was next to, whether it was by holding their hand or intermittently pushing them lightly. Momo was the opposite in that regard; she preferred when people kept their distance. “Why were you brooding?” 

Momo’s eyes fluttered open. Nayeon’s own were low, and on her jaw as she traced it. 

She preferred when people kept their distance. 

“It’s the day Seunjin died.” 

Except Nayeon wasn’t like everyone else and Momo never felt like she had to be sad in silence around her. 

The brunette’s eyes had risen to meet hers. She stayed quiet for a moment, a great feat for someone like Nayeon to accomplish, but she was still as she tried to figure out how Momo was feeling. 

The Japanese thought it was nice – for someone to actually worry about upsetting her, to care about her feelings long enough to think before they spoke. But she didn’t want the _‘I’m sorry to hear that’_ talk or the awkward pat on the back and empty promise to make her feel better. And Nayeon seemed to understand that – because Nayeon wasn’t people. 

“One big hug then?” 

Momo smiled, even laughed a little and her eyes closed again. It was nice, she was sentimental and the rain wasn’t annoying her like it usually did. 

“For practice.” Momo mumbled. 

They sat in silence with Nayeon’s fingers mapping out her face. Momo wondered briefly if Nayeon was allowed to just sit in the parking lot during work hours, but it was late in the evening and there probably wasn’t much to be done – Nayeon cared too much about the animals she looked after to ever leave them when they needed her. 

A small smile tugged on Momo’s lips at the thought of her being one – one of Nayeon’s little patients that she had to run out into the rain and get. 

“What are you smiling at?” Her voice was lower, almost a whisper as if not talking for five minutes had already given her a new appreciation for silence. It only made Momo’s smile widen. 

“Something silly that’s probably a little true.” 

“You won’t tell me what it is.” 

Momo shook her head as best as she could with the wheel prohibiting much movement under her cheek. 

“The rain’s stopping.” 

Momo listened and realized that the taps on the roof of her car sounded lighter, barely there at all. 

“I think I’m going home.” She opened her eyes and saw the little frown on Nayeon’s face. “I feel like sleeping now.” 

The woman raised her eyebrows and then looked down at the watch on her wrist. 

“Can I come over later?” 

Momo got the feeling that Nayeon was asking so she wouldn’t be alone – it was a sensitive day after all. 

She would normally turn down anyone that tried to comfort her in any way. 

“Okay.” 

But Nayeon wasn’t just anyone. 

“I brought food. I doubt you ate anything today.” 

The vet bustled past her door and into her apartment, no longer timid about entering Momo’s space. She had a white bag in her left hand that Momo could tell held takeout containers. 

She closed her door and tugged her sweater down; it was brown and mostly wool and Momo would’ve probably hated it if it wasn’t Seunjin’s. 

Nayeon navigated her way to Momo’s kitchen easily, and the latter watched with a little amusement while she opened cupboard after cupboard, in search of plates – then repeated the process with Momo’s drawers, in search of appropriate utensils. She didn’t look like she needed (*wanted) any help, so Momo let her be. 

“What if I didn’t like the food you chose?” 

Nayeon looked up at her as she closed a drawer – her eyebrows risen and her eyes a little wide. 

“Then you would starve.” When Momo frowned, Nayeon laughed and placed the things in her hands down onto the counter. She walked over and Momo turned to her fully when they were face to face. “I know what you like. Why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that I know you?” 

Her initial reaction was to deny that Nayeon knew her; saying you knew someone was such a personal thing and it implied too much, because how could you know anyone? Moreover, how could anyone know her when all she liked in life was simplicity with silence. 

But then she thought back to how carefully Nayeon treated her, how she could just look at her and know what to say or do. 

Then she smiled, her red t-shirt was soon against Momo’s sweater and her hands came up on either side of her head against the wall. 

“What’s my favorite color then?” 

Momo was teasing her – a habit she had picked up from Nayeon, because it was easier to tease and ignore all the more serious feelings. And Nayeon was making her feel serious things all too soon.

“You don’t have to tell me your favorite color for me to know it.” Nayeon moved her left hand and pulled gently on the sweater Momo wore. “Just like you don’t have to tell me this is Seunjin’s for me to know it is.” 

Momo felt a little too seen. 

“It could be mine.” 

Nayeon smiled again. 

“You hate brown, you never pick it no matter what it’s for.” She moved her face closer. “And I made sure your favorite color was red.” Her lips were near and teasing in their own way.

Momo laughed softly at that, mostly because it was true and partially because Nayeon was so sure of herself. But Nayeon had indeed made her favorite color red – red ribbon in her hair, red blouse and red dress. She looked down at the red lips; tinted from the lipstick she had been wearing earlier. 

“It’s too big for you and considering what you told me earlier, I put the pieces together.” 

She didn’t have to speak when she was with Nayeon. Momo liked it. 

Her hands were hesitant as she put them around the brunette’s waist. She was fine with comforting Nayeon when she thought she needed it, but it was weird for her to be the one to seek it. Nayeon laughed softly before she moved her body closer, her other hand leaving the wall so she could tug Momo by the ugly sweater and led her into a hug. 

She was only tense for half of the usual time before she relaxed completely. Nayeon smelt nice – Momo still couldn’t figure out exactly what the scent was, but it was all over her and it always stuck around on Momo’s clothes after they hugged – she didn’t mind it. A sweater that belonged to Seunjin and smelt like Nayeon sounded too much like home for her to accept.

“Good?” 

Momo thought for a second as her chin rested on Nayeon’s shoulder and her hands clasped around her midback. Her eyes fell on the takeout – the plates that Nayeon had started to organize for her. 

“Not sure.” She said honestly. “But I guess I was sad because I’m starting to feel better now that you’re here.” 

She felt Nayeon’s fingers playing with the ends of her hair. Always fidgety and always touching – she didn’t mind that either. Something in the back of her mind told her that she should mind, that she shouldn’t get so comfortable with someone who wasn’t guaranteed. But it was hard not to get comfortable with Nayeon whispering things in her ear in her dimly lit kitchen, pressed against her and running her hand through her hair. It was hard not to get comfortable when she laughed and held onto her a little tighter. 

Nayeon’s words met the side of her ear and each new one made the short hairs on the back of Momo’s neck stand. What was she supposed to do except get comfortable? It was impossible not to when Nayeon’s fingers started to lightly glide up and down her side. 

“Are you ready to eat now?” 

Momo hummed. 

“If you’re ready to stop hugging me.” 

Nayeon pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. It was quick and unexpected and Momo didn’t really know how to react when Nayeon placed another one on the opposite side. 

“What are you doing?” 

The brunette laughed and pulled back, her hands leaving Momo’s body altogether. 

“Sorry.” She grinned, not being very convincing if she was supposed to look apologetic. “It was tempting.” 

Momo blushed at that but didn’t reply. It was too difficult to accept that she was hard to resist as well.

When they were on the couch scrolling through potential movies to watch, Momo turned her head and eyed Nayeon’s neck, trying to understand what could be tempting about it. She supposed Nayeon’s neck did look nice – it wasn’t pale or tanned, just somewhere steadily in the middle; and it did smell nice whenever Momo was near it – like spring flowers and whatever else was essentially Nayeon; and it looked smooth and maybe she could understand why someone would feel the need to kiss it. 

So she kissed it. 

Nayeon was still undecided on a movie, and her hand didn’t freeze when Momo’s lips met her skin. 

“Thanks.” She continued to scroll. “What are you in the mood to watch? I know any sort of romance is out of the question.” 

Momo rested her head on Nayeon’s shoulder and shrugged. 

“I don’t really mind.” She started to fiddle with the brunette’s hand – saw the ring on her finger and placed her owns hands back onto her lap. It was such a weird feeling to not care but still, _kind of_ , care. She knew Nayeon wasn’t available, knew she was with someone else, and that should’ve made her feel bad. Right? She should’ve felt bad all the time, not only when she got a reminder. 

Nayeon looked at her.

“You okay?” 

It was a long day – she was tired from her mother’s incessant nagging and slight rejection, she was sad about not being able to be sad about Seunjin and – on top of that, she liked Nayeon a lot more than she should and it wasn’t simple anymore. And Momo liked simplicity. 

“Momo?” Nayeon put the remote down and turned to her. “What’s wrong?” In an unconscious act of betrayal, Momo’s eyes flitted down to Nayeon’s golden band and the woman followed her gaze easily. She looked a little ashamed while she moved her hand back. “Sorry.” 

“For what?” 

Nayeon smiled. 

“You know.” And Momo did, but still. “I’m making you uncomfortable again.” 

Except Momo wasn’t uncomfortable with her, not ever. That was the confusing part. 

Nayeon nodded her head and seemed to accept the lack of response as an iffy yes. She proceeded with caution. 

“If I offer to leave, you’ll tell me to stay.” That was true. “And if I stay, you’ll wonder why you didn’t ask me to leave. I’m not really sure what to do or how to make you feel comfortable.” 

Her eyes switched back and forth between Nayeon’s gentle ones – they weren’t shining with their usual subdued mischief, just an earnest want for Momo to be okay. 

Momo kissed her. 

Nayeon was the one that didn’t react that time, due to being caught off guard, but her hand soon pressed against Momo’s shoulder in a soft effort to get her to be gentler. And Momo listened, naturally, and her lips lost the intensity and instead settled on expressing her vulnerability. 

Nayeon’s lips were soft, they always were, but somehow Momo always forgot how good they felt against her own over time. It was completely unfair, because it meant Nayeon’s kisses could always take her breath away and leave her wondering why they didn’t kiss more often – way more often. 

She relaxed against her and then felt Nayeon’s finger run over her jaw, coaxing her to part her lips. The lights were off, only the brightness of the television screen was available and there was no sound that distracted her from that moment. No sound that could. 

Momo pulled away from the soft lips and placed another experimental kiss on Nayeon’s neck. The other woman was breathing a little heavier from their kiss and Momo liked it – she liked how Nayeon looked with her chest rising and falling quicker than usual. 

Nayeon’s neck was nice to kiss as well, Momo saw the appeal instantly. Her next kiss against the area was longer, even more experimental with the way she let her tongue peek out slightly. 

She heard a laugh, and felt Nayeon move away. 

“What are you doing?” 

Momo looked at her. 

“It was tempting.” 

Nayeon laughed again. 

“It’s always you, you know that? Virgins really are too bold.” 

Momo shrugged. Nayeon’s blush didn’t escape her, but she would spare her by not bringing it up. 

She wondered why Nayeon wasn’t like all the other women she dated briefly; the ones that couldn't keep their hands off of her and would try their best to push their kisses into something more. She wondered why Nayeon would stop their touches and considered that it might be guilt on her part – although, she did say that she didn’t feel guilty about any of those things. 

They were kissing again. 

Nayeon held her face with both hands and moved her lips expertly well, all soft and with just the right amount of pressure to make Momo chase her mouth and want to climb into her lap so she could take the kiss even further. Maybe it was Nayeon and not her, maybe Nayeon just made her feel things too intensely - or at least more intensely than she was used to.

A hand trailed over her sweater, down her chest and stopped at her waist, tentatively holding it with her right hand and cradling Momo’s face with her left. 

“I won’t break, you know.” Momo said against her mouth. Her own hands were busy restraining themselves, trying not to scare Nayeon off – much in the way that Nayeon was trying not to scare _her_ off as well. 

Nayeon laughed breathily, it made Momo shiver and she felt that weird urge again. 

“I know,” Momo didn’t have to open her eyes to see the smile that was on Nayeon’s face. She could feel her lips and she could feel the hands on her body hum with the silent want to do more. “But I will.” 

Momo thought she might’ve been a bad person because she wanted her to. 

She smiled back, their teeth clashed gently and it made her laugh a little. 

“Are you scared because I’m a virgin?” She paused as Nayeon took her bottom lip between her teeth. “Or because you don’t want to.” 

Nayeon raised her eyebrows and a raspy laugh left her. 

“Don’t want to?” She licked her lips and Momo followed the action wantonly. Nayeon’s right hand joined the left one on her face and she kissed her, rapid pecks in succession that made Momo laugh and pretend to want them to stop. Nayeon laughed with her and kept spreading the kisses over her face. “Why do you think I always call you beautiful?” She smiled and Momo felt herself fall a little for her eyes that the television screen was lighting up. 

“Because I’m beautiful.” Momo smiled dazedly. Nayeon laughed and it was warmer that time. 

“That’s true, you are beautiful,” she grinned and kissed her again. Slower. It made Momo nervous with how slow and caring it was. Her own lips were hesitant then, but Nayeon didn’t seem to mind or notice. 

Nayeon’s fingers moved over her body carefully, Momo could only describe it as reverent – a sort of appraisal that the woman’s touch made her feel worthy of. Her hesitancy was forgotten the longer Nayeon kissed her and she allowed herself to be the object of someone’s praise. Her hands were soon occupied by Nayeon’s as she intertwined their fingers and surprised the younger girl by gently pushing her back onto the couch. 

Nayeon looked down at her, smiled and tilted her head. Momo wondered if the adoration she saw in the brown eyes had always been there or if it was a new development – her hesitancy was rekindled. The woman above her noticed her darting gaze and her smile lessened, eyebrows furrowing in worry. 

Her hold on Momo’s hands became a little freer as well. 

“Sorry, is this too much?” 

Momo shook her head. She was doing fine – several confusing and new emotions but besides that, she was fine. She didn’t want to think about them yet. Especially not with the most attractive woman she had ever seen on top of her. 

“I am beautiful – but what?” 

She moved Nayeon’s hair behind her ears for her _(*she wanted to see_ _Nayeon_ _without any interruptions as well)_. Nayeon relaxed again when she realized Momo was okay. 

Her face lowered and Momo closed her eyes when she felt her lips against the side of her neck. She liked it – she couldn’t remember a time where anyone did something as gentle as the kiss Nayeon placed on it. The kisses were feather light as they moved up to her jaw. 

“You’re beautiful to look at.” Momo had been told that before, it wasn’t new. But it was Nayeon saying it, so it meant more. Sentimental. Nayeon’s lips met her closed eyes next and she placed a kiss on each one. “But, you’re even more beautiful to know.” She opened her eyes at the words said softly by her ear. “That’s why I always call you beautiful.” Nayeon kissed just below her ear. She wondered how long Nayeon had known her.

Her eyes closed when she felt a thigh move between her legs as Nayeon readjusted her position. 

The other woman laughed. 

“Sorry.” But when Momo opened her eyes and saw the grin on her face, she didn’t think it was true. 

Momo was a little embarrassed but, it didn’t last long when Nayeon’s lips met hers again and she finally found a suitable position over her. 

She never really did the whole make out on a couch thing – but like everything to do with Nayeon, the appeal quickly found her. 

“You know me.” Momo admitted between their kisses, and Nayeon laughed. 

“I know.” She nodded. “But you know me too. So, you don’t need to run away yet, it’s an even score right now.” 

“Amazing that you knew that would make me want to run away.” The Japanese mumbled. 

Nayeon’s eyes shone and she seemed to find a new home against Momo’s neck, because that’s where all of her kisses were redirected. It was hard to not give a reaction to the simple kisses, but not giving a reaction was Momo’s specialty. 

“You're not as complicated as people made you believe you are, Momo.” 

And she found someone else that she could be with without having to speak, and still be heard just as clearly.

x.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being here! I appreciate it. I rewrote this a lot and then realized I forgot how words work. stay safe


	11. Chapter 11

Momo’s mind was a mess – and with the way Nayeon’s hands kept pulling, she knew her hair was in a similar state. She kept kissing her, and kissing her, pushing her chest against hers and taking any possibilities of space between them away. She liked it like that, Nayeon’s hands lost in her hair and her thoughts lost on Nayeon. It felt almost too natural. 

A soft hum from Nayeon made her smile and her heart sped up a little more, enough to make her tilt her head to the side again; Nayeon tasted sweet, warm. Hands came up to her shoulders, then delicate fingers pulled her closer and hooked themselves around Momo’s neck. 

Momo could hear everything that was around them, the random barks from dogs in the room opposite theirs, the sound of people’s footsteps as they passed by outside and the rain that fell against the window. She could hear it all, but Nayeon still managed to make it seem like they were the only ones around. It was just the two of them in the dark backroom of Nayeon’s office, pressed against each other and kissing. 

Her hands trailed over Nayeon’s arms, she felt her own fingertips warm up against her skin and the tentative touch turned into a firmer hold on her hands. The brunette smiled at the action and for a second, teeth clashed against each other until she turned her head again and continued the kiss. 

She kept it slow, gradual and just how Nayeon preferred it – wondered if her kisses would always remain that fragile and if she would always be on the receiving end of them. Was that possible? She slipped her fingers between the spaces of Nayeon’s, interlaced them, and hoped that it _could_ be possible because there was no one else she would be that fragile with. 

She liked it that way – even if she was taught not to. 

It shouldn’t have been possible, but Momo moved even closer to her. Felt Nayeon step back again and then had her pinned against the wall. It was a weird switch for Momo to be the one in charge. She let go of Nayeon’s hands and placed one against her face, while the other trailed down her neck and over her chest until she was clenching a fistful of her shirt. 

She heard Nayeon sigh when she broke the kiss, but soon gave her something else to smile about when she moved her lips along her jaw and tilted her chin with two fingers so she could kiss her neck after 

It had to be possible – Momo thought – it had to be possible to keep on kissing Nayeon, every inch of her, until she ran out of areas to kiss her or until Nayeon told her she couldn’t; she could smell the light perfume from her neck, felt herself release a calmed breath and lean her body onto hers. Nayeon’s left hand ended up in her hair again, lightly running her hands through it while the right one slipped under the bottom of her shirt. 

Momo felt the sly fingers press against her skin – another sigh from her lips and jump to her heartbeat. 

She wondered if it was juvenile for Nayeon; kissing in a dark room when they weren’t supposed to be. But she supposed they weren’t ever supposed to kiss, so the location didn’t matter that much. Nayeon’s hand ran up her back and she pressed her lips against her neck again when it stopped at the clasp of her bra – she wanted to tell Nayeon it was okay. She could do whatever she wanted. 

But the brunette’s hand slid back down until it was on her waist again, rubbing small circles with her thumb. 

Her kisses against her neck became longer and fewer, until she was just resting her head on Nayeon’s shoulder. It was silent again. Fingers threaded through her hair and Momo kept her eyes closed so she could prolong the moment. 

They had been in there for a while. Her hair was still damp from having to run through the rain and she could still hear the echo of Nayeon’s laughter when she appeared in the doorway of her office with a spotted shirt and frown. 

“Good?” Nayeon’s voice was low, mindful of how quiet it was. 

Momo nodded against her. 

“I have to go pack my things up.” 

She didn’t want her to go yet – was that what it was like to be attached to someone? You couldn’t say goodbye to them easily, always wanted them by your side for as long as possible... but was it possible? 

“Now?” 

Nayeon laughed. Momo was afraid that she saw straight through her. 

“I don’t want to get locked in here.” 

She pulled away a little so she could look at her, or at least try to since there was only the light from Nayeon’s office filtering through from the doorway. 

“You’d be locked in here with me.” Momo hoped that sounded as nice to Nayeon as it did to her. 

“Makes me even more anxious to leave.” Nayeon’s teeth were visible as she smiled. She should’ve been upset, at least a little. But it was hard to take anything Nayeon said the wrong way. There was just something so likable about her, something that made all her words sound sweet. 

The dark eyes that stared back at her helped as well. All warm and well-meaning. Momo might’ve held her feelings back and been careful with which thoughts she voiced, but Nayeon let all her emotions pour out of her eyes and onto her. She knew how Nayeon felt – so it had to be possible, right? 

“What are you doing tonight?” 

Nayeon shrugged her shoulders. 

“It’s my anniversary, I probably have to go to dinner with Geun or something.” 

It was so stupid. It was stupid how her mind always forgot that one little detail until there was a sudden reminder. She found herself forgetting even more then, the more she lost track of time and herself. Momo stepped back a little and stopped leaning against her. 

“Why’d you ask?” Nayeon’s hands slipped from around her waist. 

“I was going to ask you out.” She was always honest with Nayeon – knew it was returned. “It was stupid.” 

Nayeon laughed – again, Momo should’ve been upset, but she liked Nayeon’s laugh and couldn’t care less about the reasoning behind it. 

“On a date?” 

“What else?” 

Nayeon’s teasing smile was still there, she didn’t need light to know that. 

“Have you never asked someone on a date before?” 

“Does it seem like it?” She stepped back again. “It doesn’t matter now, let’s go.” 

She turned but Nayeon’s hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her against her again. Their lips met in a harsher than usual kiss, it was quicker as well, like Nayeon was trying to rush a sentence out that she didn’t know how to word properly. An explanation she knew Momo deserved but couldn’t give. 

When Nayeon pulled back again, she opened her eyes slowly. 

The brunette looked at her carefully, searching for any signs of discomfort. When Momo didn’t say anything or move her hand away, she smiled again. Back to teasing because she couldn’t handle it any other way without giving herself up. 

“I thought you didn’t date married women?” 

Momo cared about her comfort too, so she smiled a little and gave Nayeon the out she needed. 

“I don’t.” Her dark hair moved around her shoulders as she nodded towards the doorway. “Let’s go. Forget I asked.” 

Nayeon held onto her tighter. 

“Momo,” she was still smiling but Momo could see through it. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying not tonight.” 

“I think it’s best if we kept the emotional side of things out of this.” She watched the smile slip a little from her face, but she had to protect what little love she had left to offer. “I don’t want either of us to get too caught up in whatever this is.” 

Nayeon looked as if she was ready to disagree. Momo knew they were both unfair to each other – Nayeon was making her fall for something she couldn’t have. And Momo was fully aware that Nayeon would go along with anything she wanted, for the sake of keeping her comfortable. It was why Momo’s heart sped up whenever she was around and why Nayeon was quick to agree that their first kiss had been a mistake. 

The vet smiled and nodded her head. 

“Sure.” 

It was warmer the next day and Momo was thankful for it. It was too much trouble to remember her umbrella every time she had to leave her house, and the rain she did a poor job of avoiding had already given her a cold. 

“Bless you.” Sana said again, clearly amused with the rapid sneezes Momo kept firing. The sun was hot on their skin as they walked down a narrow sidewalk with stores flanked on either side of them. Momo nodded her thanks before she sneezed again. “Why did you agree to come with us if you’re so sick?” She laughed and handed her another tissue. 

Momo knew her eyes were red and puffy, and her nose was probably no better off. She felt sluggish and was certain that she would’ve declined the invitation had it not provided a chance to see Nayeon. 

They stopped by a green hedge that had small flowers poking out of it and Sana smiled sympathetically at her. 

“Do you want to go home? I can tell Nayeon you aren’t feeling well.” 

Momo shook her head. 

“I’m fine.” Her voice was hoarse and Sana gave her a dubious look. “Let’s just go.” 

“You would usually use this as the perfect excuse not to leave your apartment – am I missing something?” Her light hair looked even lighter under the sun and Momo watched as she smoothed the blonde strands away from her face when the wind picked up again. “You look tired as well.” 

“Any other compliments?” 

Sana laughed and Momo just shook her head again, moving her own hair out of the way - Sana’s eyes dipped to her neck. 

“Oh, I see why now.” 

“What?” 

Sana pointed and looked pleased at whatever she saw. 

“Whoever you were with left their mark.” She smiled again. “Glad to know both of my friends had a great time last night. Even the virgin.” Her eyes widened. “You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?” 

The sun felt cold on her skin in that moment, even if it was completely irrational. 

Sana had turned away, hand shading her eyes so she could look ahead and down the street. 

“Nayeon said it was a small shop, but the sign would stick out.” She looked at Momo again. “So, who was it?” 

“I didn’t have sex.” 

Sana didn’t look surprised. 

“I figured. Plus, Nayeon would’ve told me if you did.” She started to walk again, sneakers meeting the pavement soundlessly and Momo’s own following behind her. They walked as leisurely as everyone else around them; Sana had a light-looking peach colored bag around her shoulder and her eyes were keen and on the look-out for whatever sign Nayeon had described to her. “Are you dating this person?” 

The marks on her neck were from Nayeon – and she most certainly wasn’t dating her; she tried, but maybe it was for the best that she got turned down. She frowned and felt a headache start to stir in her head, but wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or the knowledge that Nayeon and Geun had apparently slept together. 

“No, it was just a one time thing.” 

Sana hummed and they moved out of the way for a group of people that seemed to be in a rush. 

“One day you’ll introduce us to a girl that you’re crazy about, Momoring.” She smiled and her shoulder brushed against hers playfully. “ 

Momo doubted that a lot, but left it alone. 

“How do you know they slept together?” ‘She couldn’t stop herself from asking. Having only seen them interact with each other twice, and both of those times were awkward and frigid at best, it was hard to picture Nayeon _with_ him. 

“She’s my best friend, she tells me everything.” _Not everything_ , Momo looked across the street to avoid Sana’s eyes. “I called to ask how their anniversary went, see if Geun gave her any of his usual shit. But she said it went fine,” Momo heard the surprise in her voice, “and even better towards the end.” Another prickle against her skin. 

The thought of it made her uneasy; her lying in bed with her mind on Nayeon, while Nayeon was in her own bed with her mind preoccupied by something completely different. Another unexpected jab to her ego came when she thought about all the times she tried to take things further than kissing with Nayeon – the evening before included. 

“Are you okay?” Sana laughed a little when they came to a stop in front of a shop. Momo hadn’t even realized they kept walking. “Look, I know they don’t have the best of relationships, but as her friends we have to look past that for her.” Sana had gotten her completely wrong – she wasn’t upset because Nayeon was in a shitty relationship. She was upset because she had always _known_ Nayeon was in a shitty relationship. They had to move aside so a couple could enter the café and the smell of coffee and fresh pastries floated out. The blonde frowned again. “Hey,” she rested a hand on her shoulder that Momo glanced at briefly. “she sounded happy. We’re her support, right?” 

_She sounded happy_...Was Momo wrong to think that Nayeon had been happier when they were together? For the first time, she started to feel like Nayeon hadn’t been completely honest with her about her feelings towards Geun – she felt uneasy again. 

“Momo?” 

She focused her eyes back onto Sana. 

“You were right, I don’t feel well.” 

Sana looked concerned. 

“Do you want me to walk you back to your car? Nayeon won’t mind if I take a little longer. I can drive you back actually.” 

Momo shook her head. 

“I’ll be fine.” She gave a weak smile and Sana looked unsure. 

“Text me when you’re home? And take something for the cold.” 

“I will.” 

She didn’t bother to send any personalized messages to Nayeon through her. 

x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for being here! follow on twitter @rawrkyu


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